My bad habits don't heal [OPEN]

[hadnoright]

Who: Daisy Tonner & you!
What: Daisy's... dealing?
When: May???
Where: Various places around the ship
Warnings: Mild passive suicidal thoughts, possible references to police brutality, possible poor attitude towards other non-humans/left-of-human types, others added in subject lines
Notes: Hunt Sense Permissions, what does your character smell like? Feel free to flip me to brackets I am comfortable with either style.



1. I'm coming down with something [Laundry Room]

Daisy is sat on top of one of the machines. It's running. Sometimes, so is the tape recorder that sits next to her. She doesn't turn off the tape if people come in. No one will be able to understand it well enough for it to matter. The audio that floats out of the speaker is, frankly, nearly unintelligible; it's distorted horribly, and even what little sense you can make of the contents doesn't actually make sense out of context. The sound of growling and gore and Daisy laughing manically. Questions like 'do you even know what a hand is?'. Strange, unnatural voices. An explosion.

The Unknowing made no more sense from the inside than it does out of it, but Daisy keeps playing it over and over anyway. Sometimes, she rewinds and replays one part a few times in a row: Her own growling and laughter, the sound of a creaking hinge, and an exaggerated cockney accent saying: "Almost a shame you don’t know your own coffin. But you will. You will."

If the trend continues, she knows which tape will come next. After that... after that she's not sure.

Should you walk in at the end of a wash cycle, you might find her pulling out sopping wet and yet still inexplicably filthy clothes. A practical t-shirt and jeans, a jacket, even some old trainers. Caked in dirt. With a frustrated growl, Daisy throws them back into the machine and starts another wash cycle.

2. I lost my own respect [Stan the Man]

The bars are back the way they used to be.

Stan the Man, Rainbow Renly, Bobby B's. It's not like she'd ever really got used to calling them by the bastardisations of Jenny's brothers names—old habits die hard, and all that—but it's still weird to see the change. Feels like being back on her first cruise again, but she isn't.

She's the only one left who ever was, now. The only one who remembers what it was like. Even Jenny's off, reunited with her brothers (and oh doesn't that sting, when Daisy still remembers watching Basira die before Jenny got her too?). She doubts there will ever be anyone else, not after all the hourglasses got smashed. How many souls from her voyage are still down there? How many of them were finally set free?

Why is she the only one left when she wanted nothing more than to be done with it all?

For the first time since she reappeared on the boat, when Daisy takes a seat in Hurikane Stan's she orders actual alcohol and starts drinking. It won't get her drunk, not unless she really pushes it, but it's just that kind of month.

3. My hands, they wander off [Calgona Spa]

Daisy is painting her claws.

They can look like a particularly sharp manicure at a glance already, and painting them in pastels, brights, iridescents, even adding patterns (especially, predictably, daisies) is a habit she developed after they became prominent. Part of that front of hers, the soft, pretty things layered over strength and violence. A way to draw attention away from the little inhuman things that piled up over time, make her look and feel more human.

So maybe it says something about how she's feeling that she's in and out of the spa changing the varnish every few days, this month.

Anyone who comes in at the same time will get a passing look and maybe a wave of wiggling fingers, flashing the claws. "Don't worry. Won't be any slashing from me until they're done drying."

It's a very dry joke. Perhaps an inadvisable joke, but a joke nonetheless.

4. I'm not afraid of death [Pool Deck]

Daisy is floating in the pool in a tankini. She's staring up at the sky, or, occasionally, lying on her front staring at the bottom of the pool in a way that might look just a little bit concerning to a passer-by. It's fine, she technically doesn't need to breathe, it's just more comfortable to.

Still means she's sometimes lying face down in the pool though.

5. I'm just afraid of feeling numb [wildcard]

Find me at bluecitrine or at artisticblueteam#5757/in the discord, or just throw something at her.

Comments

3

[angrycrabnoises]

Karkat plops down nearby Daisy.

“OH FUCK IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAD A GOOD CLAW MANICURE.”

He examines his own nails.

Black, but they could always be blacker.

[hadnoright]

"...kid you're, like, what, twelve?" She has literally no idea she's spitballing, here. She can't even tell how old human kids are, how is she supposed to know how old... whatever Karkat is is? "How long could it have been?"

[angrycrabnoises]

“SEVEN SWEEPS. I BELIEVE THAT’S FOURTEEN HUMAN EARTH YEARS. I HAVE TAKEN NOTES ON IT,” he says.

“AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, MY ENTIRE ASS UNIVERSE GOT DESTROYED LIKE HALF A SWEEP AGO, SO I WAS PRETTY CONVINCED THAT I WAS NEVER GETTING A QUALITY MANICURE AGAIN.”

[hadnoright]

Daisy squints at him a bit. "Your... entire universe. Like, it's gone-gone? Or are you just talking about ending up here 'cause that isn't the same thing."

[angrycrabnoises]

“YES, THE ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE. I’M NOT TALKING OUT OF MY ASS HERE,” he rolls his eyes.

“MY FRIENDS AND I PLAYED A GAME THAT CREATES AND DESTROYS UNIVERSES. OR, THE GAME IS JUST A VEHICLE FOR THE INEVITABILITY OF THE CREATION AND DESTRUCTION OF UNIVERSES WHICH WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAPPEN BECAUSE WE WERE ALWAYS FATED TO PLAY IT, BLAH BLAH BLAH PREDESTINED PARADOX BULLSHIT. WHEN WE STARTED PLAYING IT, A BUNCH OF METEORS BOMBED THE SHIT OUT OF OUR HOMEWORLD. AND THEN THE EMPRESS’S LUSUS, WHO’S THIS GIANT TENTACLE MONSTER THING, USHERED IN THE VAST GLUB - A MASSIVE PSIONIC BLAST THAT KILLED EVERY REMAINING TROLL IN THE UNIVERSE EXCEPT FOR US WHO WERE IN THE GAME.”

Technically it killed Sollux too but he doesn’t talk about that part.

[hadnoright]

Daisy isn't squinting anymore. She's staring at him with a healthy dose of bemusement. "Just about every word of that got weirder. A game. That— creates and destroys universes. What decided that was a good idea?"

...says the woman from a world where patrons of eldritch entities are constantly trying to reshape the world in their image, as if that's not a different flavour of nuts.

[angrycrabnoises]

“DON’T ASK ME, ASK THE COSMIC FORCES OF TIME AND SPACE THAT GOVERN THE LAWS OF REALITY AND PERPETUALLY CHOOSE A GROUP OF STOOGES TO MANIPULATE TOWARDS THEIR GRAND DESIGN,” he shrugs.

[hadnoright]

Daisy's mouth opens. Daisy's mouth closes. Daisy slides down in her chair and almost forgets to account for her drying nails when she goes to cover her face with a hand as she laughs.

Yes she's aware this is an insane reaction from the outside. Sue her.

[angrycrabnoises]

“YEAH, YEAH, THEY THINK THE WHOLE THING IS REAL FUNNY TOO,” he grumbles.

“BY THE WAY, WHENEVER YOU’RE DONE LAUGHING AT MY PERSONAL TORMENT, JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE NAIL POLISH ALL OVER YOUR FACE.”

[hadnoright]

"I'm not laughing at your suffering. This time." That's admittedly a pretty Her thing to do. She lowers her hand and groans, a little, at the transferred nail polish. "That just. Sounded familiar. When you put it like that."

[angrycrabnoises]

“OH. HUH.
USUALLY NOBODY AROUND HERE UNDERSTANDS ANY OF WHAT THE HELL I’M RAMBLING ABOUT AT A GIVEN MOMENT. I’M PRETTY SURE IF I WENT BACK FAR ENOUGH IN TIME, SEVERAL IGNORAMUS PAST VERSIONS OF MYSELF WOULD THINK MY THINK PAN HAS OFFICIALLY FLEW OFF THE FUCKING HANDLE. THEY’D PROBABLY TAKE ME OUT BEHIND THE TOOLSHED AND, AFTER WASHING THE BLOOD FROM THEIR HANDS, VOW NEVER TO MAKE THE MISTAKES I MADE. WHICH IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF TRAGIC HUBRIS THAT RESULTS IN THE KARMIC RETRIBUTION OF HAVING TO ONE DAY EXIST AS ME.
GOD HELP THEM.
WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT AGAIN?”

[hadnoright]

This kid is sure a character, isn't he? Daisy's brows are raised and she's biting back an amused twist of a smile. Clearing her throat, she sits up again and grabs wipes to get the varnish off her face.

"Cosmic forces fucking around with people. That's why I'm like. This. You know." She waggles her claws, then goes back to what she's doing. Turns out getting the wipes out of the packet is hard without ripping them or rubbing off more varnish. She'll get there. "These... eldritch entities. We choose them as much as they choose us, really. But. They don't care about us. They just need us to create fear. Make rituals."

[angrycrabnoises]

He snorts at that.
“YEAH, SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT.”

Folding his arms, Karkat peers at Daisy. “LEMME GUESS. YOU’RE NATURALLY DRAWN IN, AND THEN IT TURNS OUT, BIG WHOOP, ALL THE CHOICES YOU THOUGHT YOU MADE AND THE PERSONALITY TRAITS YOU THOUGHT WERE YOUR OWN WERE ACTUALLY JUST PART OF THE PLAN? BUT PARADOXICALLY THEY WOULDN’T HAVE LOOKED YOUR WAY IF YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE THOSE THINGS GOING FOR YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE? THAT’S HOW IT IS BACK IN MY FUCKED UP CORNER OF REALITY.”

[hadnoright]

"It's not... not like that. My patron wanker of terror had its claws in me since I was younger than you are." She finally gets a wipe out and scrubs at her face. Her brow furrows. "...maybe even since I was born. I dunno. Gets. Fuzzy."

You don't exactly remember your earliest years clearly. Especially not by her age.

[angrycrabnoises]

Karkat scoots in closer. “WANNA KNOW SOMETHING REAL FUCKED UP?” he smirks.

“I WAS THERE FOR MY OWN GODDAMN BIRTH. THE GAME MADE ME CREATE MYSELF AND MY ENTIRE TEAM BY CLONING US AND SENDING US BACK THROUGH TIME.”

He likes this, it’s like sharing war stories.

[hadnoright]

Daisy automatically leans back a little to look at him with a fresh look of bemusement. "...that is fucked up. How the hell does that even work? If you created yourself then..."

Resident avatar has never seen any time travel media, despite living in the country that birthed Doctor Who.

[angrycrabnoises]

“THEN I WAS ALWAYS FATED TO PLAY THE GAME AND MAKE THE EXACT DECISIONS THAT WOULD LEAD TO MY OWN BIRTH, BECAUSE I HAD ALREADY MADE THEM IN ORDER TO EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE,” he explains casually, like talking about the weather.

[hadnoright]

Blink, blink. It'd click much faster if she did have even a basic understanding of time travel tropes, but eventually what clicks instead is: "...well, that's some Web bullshit if I've ever heard it."

[angrycrabnoises]

“WHAT’S ‘WEB’ MEAN?” he asks.

(And why does it immediately make him think of Vriska Serket?)

[hadnoright]

"Web's one of those entities. The spider. 'Mother of Puppets'." She scoffs and waves a hand dismissively, the fancy names people give some of the entities are ridiculous to her. "Pulls strings behind the scenes. Manipulates people into doing what it wants. Has grand plans of... some kind."

She's not sure if she's more clueless than average about whatever Annabelle seems to be doing, or if everyone is just as clueless as her. Not that it matters anymore. That's home's problem.

[angrycrabnoises]

Ok yeah that’s definitely Vriska. She would be shitting herself about this.

“OKAY SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT,” Karkat says. From his sylladex, he produces a notebook and a gray sharpie.

“THERE’S MORE THAN ONE OF THESE ENTITIES, THAT ARE GODS OR COSMIC FORCES OR SOMETHING. AND THE ONE THAT YOU’RE DRAWN TO IS CALLED HUNT AND FEEDS OFF OF FEAR, AND THIS ONE IS CALLED WEB AND FEEDS OFF OF MANIPULATION? THAT RIGHT?”

[hadnoright]

Daisy doesn't even blink at him just suddenly producing a notebook. Some things just don't register as all that weird anymore. "They all feed off fear, just... fear of different things. Hunt is fear of... being prey, being hunted. Web is fear of manipulation and being controlled. There's... ugh, fourteen? I think? Jon's the nerd who knows all the details. I can smell 'em on people but..."

She waves a hand vaguely. It's complicated. She knows the basics but she's one of the worst people in the Archive crew to actually explain this properly.

"There's the Slaughter, that's— random violence? Lonely is, well. What it says on the tin. Eye is... being watched, known. Um. Stranger's... things that aren't quite right? I dunno how to explain that one. End's death, that's simple. Buried's being... trapped. Flesh, Vast, Dark, Corruption, Desolation..." She clicks her fingers a few times, then adds: "Spiral. I think that's all of them?"

She has absolutely no goddamn idea about the Extinction.

[angrycrabnoises]

“YEAH, THAT’S FOURTEEN,” he confirms after adding them up.

“WE HAD SOMETHING SORT OF LIKE THAT TOO. THEY WERE CALLED ASPECTS AND THERE WERE TWELVE OF THEM. THEY’RE KINDA LIKE THE VARIOUS ELEMENTS THAT MAKE UP REALITY, AND SPECIFIC PEOPLE GET DRAWN TO THEM AND END UP CARRYING OUT A PURPOSE USING THE ASPECT THAT THEY WERE FATED TO DO. THOUGH I GUESS THE ASPECTS WEREN’T GODS THEMSELVES THE WAY YOUR ENTITIES SOUND LIKE. WE DID HAVE GODS, BUT THEY WERE OVER IN THE FURTHEST RING AND YOU’D SEE THEM IN YOUR DREAMS AND THEY’D WHISPER OMINOUS SHIT IN YOUR EAR. NOT A FUN TIME SLEEPING, LET ME TELL YOU. THERE’S REASONS I HAVE THESE BAGS UNDER MY EYES.” He points to his own face.

“HAVING AN ASPECT DIDN’T AUTOMATICALLY MEAN YOU HAD TO HURT PEOPLE THOUGH, WHICH I’M GUESSING IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET SELECTED BY A FEAR-HUNGRY DEITY, BASED ON WHAT YOU’VE ALREADY TOLD ME AND ALSO IT BEING IMMEDIATELY APPARENT TO ANYONE WITH A BRAIN. THOUGH SOME PEOPLE WERE FATED TO STEAL OR CAUSE DESTRUCTION WITH THEIR ASPECT IN SOME WAY. AND A LOT OF THE FATES WERE THE KIND OF BLUE-AND-ORANGE ‘FATE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS’ MORALITY WHERE SOMETHING YOU THINK IS BAD TURNS OUT TO BE GOOD LATER AND SOMETHING YOU THINK IS GOOD TURNS OUT TO BE FUCKING TERRIBLE FOR EVERYONE.”

[hadnoright]

"Y'know there aren't a lot of worlds that sound more nuts than mine..." That's not exactly a lie, but it is a very biased sample. She puts the pack of wipes back where they were and grabs the polish bottle again to touch up the damage. "So what do aspects let you... do? Hunters like me, all the ones I've known end up strong. Durable. Teeth, claws, stuff like that. Eye types could... know things, compel information from people. I dunno, it varied. Some of the others were weirder. Think the Desolation's people were... waxy."

[angrycrabnoises]

He laughs at her first comment. “YEP. THAT’S FAIR. DID NOT COME UP WITH IT MYSELF, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS.”

He starts listing out the twelve aspects on his notebook.

“SO I’M NOT THE EXPERT ON THIS SHIT BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION. YOU’D WANNA TALK TO LALONDE ABOUT THAT. BUT HERE’S MY GENERAL KNOWLEDGE OF IT.”

“FIRST, YOU’VE GOT TIME AND SPACE, WHICH ARE ESSENTIAL TO ANY SESSION. TIME IS TIME TRAVEL, CREATING LOOPS IN TIME, PRETTY SELF-EXPLANATORY. SPACE IS LIKE MANIPULATION OF SIZE AND SHAPE OF MATTER, OR TELEPORTING TO DIFFERENT PLACES. THEN, THERE’S BREATH WHICH IS BEING ABLE TO CONTROL WINDY SHIT AND FLYING AROUND. ALSO SUPPOSEDLY ABOUT FREEDOM? AND LIGHT IS LIKE KNOWLEDGE AND LUCK WITHIN THE GAME.”

“WHAT’S NEXT? OH, NEPETA HAS HEART, WHICH... I STILL DON’T REALLY KNOW A LOT ABOUT THAT ONE. SOMETHING TO DO WITH LIKE THE SOUL AND EMOTIONS. ERIDAN HAD HOPE. ALSO DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANT, BECAUSE HIS SPECIFIC ROLE IN THE GAME WAS TO DESTROY HOPE OR DESTROY WITH HOPE, IT’S NOT CLEAR. HE DID, LIKE, BELIEVE REALLY HARD IN HIS SHITTY WANDS AND USED THEM TO BLOW UP SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT, SO THAT PROBABLY HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT. I HAVE BLOOD, WHICH IS ABOUT BONDS AND FRIENDSHIP AND SHIT. I STILL DON’T REALLY KNOW WHAT IT MEANS IN TERMS OF POWERS. NEVER GOT THAT FAR. PROBABLY NOW I NEVER WILL? WELL, THAT’S SOBERING TO THINK ABOUT. HUH. ANYWAY...”

“LIFE IS HEALING AND REVIVING THE DEAD. DOOM IS LIKE, KNOWING WHEN SHIT’S FUTILE OR WHEN THERE’S LIMITS IN PLACE TO MAKE EVERYTHING SHITTIER. VOID IS... FUCK IF I KNOW. EQUIUS WAS ALSO USELESS AT HIS ASPECT. RAGE IS, UM, GOING INTO A FRENZY I THINK? OUR RAGE PLAYER WAS THE ONE I MENTIONED TO YOU BEFORE. HE ALSO HAD A WEIRD THING WITH CLOWNS, BUT I DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S RELATED TO HIS ASPECT OR IF IT WAS JUST HIS PERSONAL DEAL. ALL I KNOW IS THAT IF I NEVER SEE ANOTHER OMINOUS JESTER UNICYCLING IN MY DIRECTION WITH LIKE CREEPY CALLIOPE MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND, IT WILL BE TOO GODDAMN SOON.”

He thinks for a moment. “WHAT ELSE? OH.” He frowns and his voice takes a slightly sadder tone. “AND MIND IS DECISIONS, CHOICES, LOGICAL OUTCOMES. I THINK THAT’S ALL OF THEM.”

His voice returns to normal. “OH, AND WHAT THE POWERS EXACTLY LOOK LIKE ALSO DEPENDS ON WHAT THE PLAYER IS DESTINED TO USE THE ASPECT FOR. LIKE, IF IT’S USED FOR PROTECTION, THAT’LL LOOK DIFFERENT THAN IF IT’S USED TO LEARN THINGS.”