decrypter: (rhyme.)
helena adams. ([personal profile] decrypter) wrote in [community profile] come_sailaway2023-05-20 09:09 pm

(open.) though it be singular

who: helena and open.
what: getting back to normal, shapeshifting into a bunny, apology tour, etc.
when: all of may, some bonus june.
where: across the boat.
warnings: discussions of repeated murder in various threads.

not_the_last: (Default)

[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-25 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
"My father and mother were Lord and Lady de Rolo, and they ruled Whitestone. I was the youngest of their seven children."

It begins so like a fairytale. She could continue in that tone; she finds she doesn't want to.

"When I was twelve, we received a pair of visiting nobles who turned out to be planning a coup. They had suborned one of my father's men to assist them from within, and in one night they killed or took prisoner all of my family and those who remained loyal to us. My brother Percival and I were the only survivors, and for five years each of us thought the other dead."
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[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-25 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Cassandra barely hears it. She's nowhere near finished.

"I spent two years in hiding in the city, while the two who murdered my family took over as the new Lord and Lady. The Briarwoods. They killed any of the lower nobles who opposed them, and installed their own creatures in their places. They wouldn't let anyone leave, to keep word of what they'd done from spreading. To maintain their legitimacy," and for the first time there's an emotion in her voice, a deep bitter scorn, "as Whitestone's new rulers. The townspeople started a resistance, in hiding. I was ... their figurehead, I suppose. Their banner. The last living de Rolo. I worked with them to make a plan, to enter the castle in secret and kill the usurpers."

A pause, as she gathers herself for the next part.
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[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-25 08:15 pm (UTC)(link)
"They took us apart." Her voice is back to a level calm. "Killed my entire strike team, and took me alive. And they kept me, as something between a prisoner, a guest, and a family member. For over three years. And I fought them, at every turn, until I didn't. Until defying them outright turned into keeping my head down, and then that turned into doing their dirty work for them. I lived in my childhood home with the people who murdered my family and crushed my country, and I did their bidding."

She lifts her head and regards Helena, bleakly.
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[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-28 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
She can't take Helena's hand. Not yet.

"I never did turn against them on my own. They learned that my brother was still alive, and planning to return with his friends to take back Whitestone. We set a scene for them, to convince him that I was still only the Briarwoods' prisoner and not their ally, and plant me in their midst. It didn't quite alleviate all of Percy's suspicions, but ... it worked for long enough. I did my best to play both sides, as long as I could. So that whoever won would believe I'd been on their side all along."

A sigh. "Someone asked me, a little while ago, if I ever thought of doing that here."
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[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-28 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
"There," she says wearily, "yes. Not here. I don't know if he believed me, when I told him so. I don't know if you believe me either. It hardly matters. But of course I thought of it. One can't ... keep playing the same game, every waking moment, for years on end, and then just choose to stop seeing the gameboard."
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[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-28 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
"Yes," she says, with just a little more vehemence than she means to. "Changed. Made over, into ... something that can live through it."

Her hands tighten on each other.

"A shell, if that's all that survives."
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[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-28 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
"The Briarwoods?" Her mouth crooks slightly, joylessly. "That should be a much simpler question than it is. He was a vampire, she was a necromancer; they served an ancient lich who was trying to attain godhood. I saw them both killed and their bodies destroyed, and they came back about a year and a half later. They were killed again in battle against that lich, or so I've been told."

Her voice stays calm, distantly reflective. "I don't know if I'll ever believe they're gone for good."
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[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-29 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
"Be it so," she murmurs, dry but not insincere.

And then, quietly: "Thank you for hearing me."
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[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-29 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
"Please do," she says, and moves her hands to her lap, resting them on her knees. Ready to listen, in turn.
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[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-29 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
She remembers, distantly even though it wasn't that long ago for her, talking to tiny Helena in her father's garden.

"The others," she says, low, "attending the seminar? Other scholars?"
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[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-29 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
Cassandra's face has gone pale again, all but completely without expression. It's become second nature to her by now, to shut down her own reaction when she can, to be unreadable; less than useless here and now, when there is only one other present and she can't see her.

"Was it ... all the time, that you were hunted? Or intermittently, or ...?"
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[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-29 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
"And they brought you back," she says, numbly. "Every time."

What does survival even mean under those circumstances?
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[personal profile] not_the_last 2023-05-30 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
A shudder goes through her, helpless revulsion and wrenching pity blended together. "How," she half-whispers, and doesn't finish any of the possible questions caught in her throat: How could you bear it? How can you bear it here, after that?

How can you possibly be this kind, after that?

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