come_sailaway | Who'd want to be human anyway? [Open]

Entry tags:

Who'd want to be human anyway? [Open]

Who: Flan, Wayne, April - and you!
When: Mid-August
Where: Room 160!
Warnings: Various cursed objects, preying on fear/insecurities, possible drug use

1) like freaks of nurture, isn't it funny?

Early in the morning, close to 9am, an obnoxiously cheery voice comes on over the ship's intercom.

"Hellllooooooooooooo this is your friendly neighbourhood Flan! Do you currently share your room with an item that makes you nervous or scared? Did Sundries give you something dangerous and you don't know what to do with it? Bring it to room 160, and me and Wayne will store that item safely and securely for you! All items are guaranteed to be kept according to industry standards and you can check them back out at any time! All we need from you is some basic information on what your item does, and how we can meet it's storage needs! I'll be outside the room every day at 1pm, or feel free to text me if it's an emergency! Thanks all!"

2) I doubt that you would even if you could change

Though it isn't 1pm yet, anyone who comes around to Cabin 160 early will hear construction noises from inside, and the occasionally whoosh of air. A knock on the door will be quickly answered with a grin - and the view behind Flan is various shelves and decorative chests from the Tommy Bahamas that have been repurposed and are being used to build the storage room. Wayne, with his new textured hand upgrade, has been given the task of securing the shelves to the walls so they won't tip over.

"Hiiii! How can I help?" It is early? Yes, but of course Flan is more than happy to let folks skip the line if they need to.

3) you think it makes you special, but it makes you strange

Come 1pm, the door to Cabin 160 is wide open and ready to receive items. Flan's got a sheet of warning label stickers she's made and Wayne's standing by with all kinds of padding and wrapping materials for items who need a little more protection.

There's also a stranger standing by the door with a clipboard, clipboard up to cover part of their face, ready to take down information. All three of them are clearly ready to help, you just have to decide who you want to talk to.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The same thing that stops you from doing that right now! You don't have the key to get in, and you can't teleport or phase through cabin walls! Watch me try to get into your room!

[And as a display of this, Flan falls straight through the floor, and then falls from the ceiling right in front of Ari's door. At this close distance, you can actually see Flan in two places at once - sorta, kinda, technically it's just one Flan but it sure looks like two for half a second. She lands easily on her feet and then walks back over.] See? They won't let me in if I don't have permission to be there! So anybody who can get around that could get around everything!

[Ari's eyes go very wide as she watches this demonstration. Over half a standard year on the ship and she's still not used to such things!]

That's impressive. Credit to you, it is. But I did have someone teleport right into my room once, without my permission. I nearly shot him. [If he hadn't been a literal god, she wouldn't have missed!] And I'm fairly sure I could break down one of these doors if I wanted. Axe. Improvised battering ram. I'd find something.

[She steps closer to Flan, lowers her voice.]

Of course if I were you, I'd keep this publicly-known storage space, but move anything truly hazardous to an undisclosed location. Off-site, as it were, and carefully concealed. Empty box in the storage room with the right labels, maybe something to weigh it down.

[Ari is already storing a hazardous artifact on behalf of a friend, very securely, but she won't even hint at that!]

[Now that all gets a big laugh out of Flan, absolutely tickled pink to find out that they really have accidentally recreated the Bunker - right down to the paranoid researchers who think swapping out one item for another is a good way of handling anything. The more things change, the more they stay the same!]

Nope, won't be doing that! That goes against everything this stands for, which includes transparency! How do you think people would feel if they left their dangerous items with us, and then they come back to get it and I say 'Oh sorry, I left that my room, let me go grab it- huh wait I have the wrong box, maybe I stuck that in the library'? This is all voluntary, just so people don't have to sleep beside something that's making them feel afraid, or worry that they might knock it over. If someone's going to be a bad faith actor, then they'll do it anyway!

Now, if you're really worried and you hear something at night, you can text me! I'm a light sleeper, I'll hear it and go check on what's going on right away! But I mean, if somebody wanted to be awful, there's a dozen easier ways then breaking into here to do it!

[Without that context, Ari thinks Flan is laughing at her, and at her idea, as if it's worthy of ridicule. She hates being laughed at, especially when she's trying to help someone. It's one thing to disagree with her suggestion, and quite another to mock it.

She doesn't outwardly react, not beyond a shift in her body language. Standing straighter, crossing her arms. Her tone stays pleasant enough.]

If they can come and get the items any time they please, that implies that the room won't be locked at all, and if they'll need to ask you first, I'd hope that you'd remember what you put where and could retrieve it without much delay. [But then she shrugs.] But it's your project, you'll do as you like. [Ari, having made one clearly laughable and unwanted suggestion, won't make any more.] Good fortune to you.

[Flan is possibly very lucky that Ari's ethical codes strictly forbid theft of any kind, or she might be tempted to prove her point later on!]

Oooo, good fortune to you too! That's a fun one, I have to write that down!

[Flan puts her hands on her hips and grins. This girl is sooooooo unhappy about all this but she's being real passive aggressive about it. Is this part of her own culture's way of doing things? Or just like, a learned behaviour 'cause she's stuck on the ship?] This isn't an armoury or like, Fort Knox! This is an archive - we're archiving! It's a safe place for dangerous things so people don't worry that they might trip over something in the night and curse themselves - or that a new roommate might pick it up and blow their head off! So the door isn't open 'cause it's not a lending library, but we're not holding stuff hostage, and it's downright silly to ask for a separate room and then store the dangerous stuff around the ship like I'm a squirrel!

[Then she leans forward, eyebrows raised.] Are you worried because you can actually think of someone planning on breaking in here, or are you just naturally paranoid and covering your bases?

[Oh, it's absolutely being stuck on the ship. Ari's confident and assertive back home, but things make sense there, and she's not a powerless captive. Here she's been reduced to a bundle of trauma and defensive responses, poor thing.]

I'm worried because my living space is directly opposite, and having my security concerns laughed at and called silly doesn't exactly inspire confidence or trust that you can actually keep what's put in there safe.

[And in her very first month on the ship, Ari had an artifact explode beside her, and she'd had to drag herself to the infirmary leaving a trail of blood behind her while at least one bystander refused to help. Speaking of failing to inspire confidence and trust. She has good reason to be paranoid.]

[Wayne, having been keeping an eye on the proceedings as a whole (and genuinely being pleased that it seems like Ari approves even with the misgivings about it being directly across from her living space), notes the change in tone even while Flan remains her bubbly self, and Ari ices over in the face of that laugh. He's learned by now that his new friend seems to laugh at everything, like it's a reflex, and Ari, as seldom as they really get to talk one on one, is so diametrically opposite of that even while the two of them seem to have a similar idea on the situation as a whole, is going to get along with this like hot oil dropped into water.

So he climbs down from where he's been mounting a rack on the wall for the potential hanging of dangerous cloth-based objects, puts the screwdriver in a utility pouch in a smooth motion, and props an elbow up on Flan's shoulder as he faces Ari with a cool expression of his own.]

Hey, hey what's this about silly? [A glance between each of them, and then the light poke of a fingertip against Flan's cheek.] You know we're not belittling anyone's concerns around here, right? It's a difference in communication, from where I'm sitting.

So what's your main concern again, Lieutenant? We can address that easy, and if we need to switch it up, we can do that too.

[Ari likes Wayne. More than that, to her mind, Wayne is one of Nobunaga's people, and that means that even if he and Ari aren't terribly close to one another, she'd defend him. She'd protect him from harm. She'd thought of him as one of theirs.

She takes him in now. That expression. That body language. The casual alignment with the other woman, against her.

You're not on the damn Tradelines now, Tayrey. Nobody owes you a damn thing.]

No, Citizen Wayne, I think I read your associate's tone correctly. [She knows when she's being laughed at and belittled.] My concern is having a whole pile of hazardous objects stored right across from my living space with not only no real security measures, but an attitude that security measures themselves are silly. Here. Where violence is commonplace and people have been known to act in...compromised fashions. [Possession. Madness. Murderous intent.]

[There are so many other empty cabins that she almost feels deliberately targeted.]

[Ooooohhhhh shit this is going so badly and all at once, and now she's mad at Wayne and he didn't do anything worth being mad at. Flan throws her arms up in the air.]

TRUCE! Truce truce truce!!! Everybody truce, okay?? I don't want this to be a fight!

[Urrgggg this is the stuff Flan's really bad at but like, she really has to try here. She keeps her arms in the air and tries very very hard to keep her voice small and even instead of booming.] Listen, I'm sorry. I am taking your concerns seriously. I know you're in a scary situation right now, maybe even all of the time. I sound like this because this has been my job for over five years now, so none of this stuff scares me anymore. So I'm really seriously sorry that I made you feel like I don't care what you feel.

And like... please, don't be mad at Wayne, okay? You can be mad at me, but don't be mad at him.

[Ari takes a half-step backwards, her own hands half-raised, because she certainly doesn't want a fight either, and it occurs to her that being armed (which she is as a matter of course, and rarely thinks about) might worry the stranger.]

I hear you. Peace. [She says it with sincerity, openly.]

I'm not... mad, or scared. I'd like to have a serious conversation about what you're doing here. So we can understand each other. Shall we try again? I'm Lieutenant Tayrey, of the Tradelines. I've been a prisoner here for over half a standard year. In that time I've seen the problem you're trying to solve - people owning objects that frighten them, and that they don't want in their possession. But I've also seen unusual objects used to hurt and kill people.

[She thinks for a moment. For this to be productive, she's going to have to make a few assumptions of trust. Give the benefit of the doubt, the way she would for one of her own people. If someone's been doing a job for five years, don't act like you know better than them how to do it.] You're experienced, so I don't have to worry much about my personal safety, right? You're not going to make containment errors that'll get me blown up in my sleep. What I'm uncertain about is whether you've really considered the threat of hostile actors. Everyone on the ship now knows that there are going to be many hazardous objects in this room. Not everyone here has the same grasp of ethics, and even if we did all agree, people have been... controlled by other entities with evil intentions, before now.

I can see you're trying to do a good thing, a helpful thing, and I want to support it. I can notify you if I see anyone lurking suspiciously - but I don't have the operating capacity to watch constantly. [Obviously. But thin, tired-looking Tayrey probably doesn't have much spare capacity at all, hence the struggle to keep herself from reacting irrationally.] You said it's not an armory, and you're clearly not designing it as one - but to someone wanting to cause harm it could be exactly that. [To her, it's self-evident that having all your dangerous artifacts in one unguarded room that the ship's entire population knows about is a risky idea.]

[His casual demeanor with Flan flies in the face of Ari's much more upright relationship with him, and he understands why it might be taken like the two of them were ganging up on her. He's glad that she seems to be calming at least, and that Flan recognizes what's happening. His arm comes off of Flan's shoulder, and he steps forward, his hands moving in front of him as he looks back at the bottle that was the start of all this.]

First and foremost, we didn't really have much say in where this was to be set up. It was never meant to be a personal slight against you, nor intentioned to somehow orchestrate a way for you to be put at risk. I don't know Friday's reason for giving us this room, I'm just trying to be grateful that she gave us the opportunity in the first place. I want to believe that we're still friends and that this isn't going to jeopardize that.

The thing about this is that it's going to be completely voluntary. We're not keeping anyone's belongings from them, we're not confiscating them, we're just offering containment procedures. If you want the whole truth, it's. It's kind of complicated. But I received a package from Sundries that hurt me, and presented a huge danger even without the hit to the psyche. When I tried to put it where I thought it would be safe, I ran into Flan here, and she explained that this kind of thing was her job, before she got here. I trust her expertise on the matter, and I only just met them but I trust April to be thorough when it comes to check-ins, accounting, the whole nine. I would be so unimaginably stoked if you would lend us your help however you see fit, especially given your physical proximity, and the network of relationships that you have here.

We've considered that some people are gonna be hostile. There's no real avoiding that. This was never meant to get under anyone's skin though, and we've talked about the possibility of people breaking in and making off with other peoples' stuff. But with the way the cabins work, the risk isn't any higher than if someone were to attempt to break into any of our individual cabins, right?

[He's still not used to using so many words at once. It kind of hurts his throat if he's honest. No wonder he's just not cut out to be a vocalist...]

This started as something of a selfish endeavor on my end. If something terrible does happen as a result of things being signed in here, then it's on me. I take full responsibility. [And then he turns to April.] Can I get that in writing? You all are witnesses.

[Ah, what a heartfelt speech from Wayne, surely nothing can bring do-]

Fuck no?

[Hey, remember how in another thread Flan and April were hammering out some of the benefits of being the ones running this show?]

I'm not writing that down, what are you, a professional scapegoat? Maybe it started with your idea but you're not the only cog running here, and if wanting distance from something harmful is selfish, then-

[Then April had better end their sentence here for the sake of Flan and Wayne's attempt at peace. Alright, they shake their head as if to physically rid themselves of the sentence, sigh, and then try to get back on diplomatic track.]

Look, ma'am, we're documenting the hell out of everything as we go, what's coming in and how to contain it and where it's from and who surrendered it. I've been at this kind of thing longer than Flan has, and we've seen several attempted containment breaches between us over the years. But in the event someone tries to start trouble, we have about the fastest response time you can ask for on the ship. Right Flan?

If nothing else, then consider that first, this room presents another layer of B.S. for whoever wants to take their evil sword back than if it was just stashed under the owner's bed, which means more time to catch out this potential thief and intervene, and second, that if they do make it into the room, their focus is going to be entirely on that half of the hallway, not your own.

[That could be delivered like a morbid joke, but April does mean it as a consolation. The bunker was built during the cold war, and that's the pinnacle of 'well, as long as my side of the door is safe' - and that motto clearly hadn't gone away by the present day.]

Right April! Between us, I can 'teleport' anywhere on this ship, and April is basically invisible to every single person unless they want to be seen. If someone takes something, we can and will get it back easy-peasy.

[Flan takes her attention back to Lieutenant Tayrey, and she does her best to keep this whole thing like, collaborative. They do have the 'fuck you it's our archive' button still available but like, she'd rather not piss of the next door neighbour right out the door.] Lieutenant Tayrey, I've been around dangerous people since I was a little girl, the kind of folks who can kill you instantly. So I don't really worry about people with bad intentions, 'cause I know that somebody who wants to hurt people is going to find a way, but also most people are lazy. They could break in here - but they're probably going to take what their roommate has, which is probably going to be more actively dangerous than anything we're storing.

Like Wayne said, this is all voluntary. I'm expecting a lot more Poolwines than like, cool guns that can shoot anyone they're aimed at, y'know - dangerous stuff that's just as dangerous to the person touching it or using it. Or annoying stuff, like screaming skulls, or stuff that makes you involuntarily transform into a worm. And since it's voluntary, I wanna be transparent. [She gestures to the room behind her - to the shelves and the other storage measures aimed at keeping things secured and separate, and not easily knocked-over or lost.] I want people to know that when they give us something, that it's safe and secured in here. All of us have separate roommates, or might get roommates, and we can't vouch for them. And hiding stuff around the ship is dangerous, especially if something happens and all of us blink out of existence at the same time. Then there could be dangerous stuff everywhere and nobody would know where it was - and if we make a record of where we secretly stashed things, what's to stop somebody from reading that book and breaking in to steal those things if they're already gonna break in here, right?

But like, really most importantly, it's not your job to be our unpaid watchwoman, okay? If you hear something, send me a text and I will be in here in a second - instantly. But you got your own things, and none of us want you to feel like this is now something you gotta do too. Just 'cause we aren't in the same universe as our union anymore doesn't mean that I don't uphold union values! Do only what's in your job description, get paid fairly, get benefits, and don't do anything that violates CCOHS standards!

[Whoops she's getting loud again. Flan clears her throat and tries once again to make her voice softer.] Anyway like, if hearing all this still isn't making you feel less stressed, we could totally come with you to Friday and see about getting your room moved to be closer to the other guys, or see if she's got a third option but... I'd really rather we all get to stay where we are.

[Ari wants to question Wayne's logic. It's much like saying that investing all your money in one company is inviting the same level of risk as spreading it across ten. It doesn't make any sense to her. But before she can speak up, he's trying to take responsibility for it all. She's inclined to let him, but the heard and witnessed that she's about to utter dies in her throat at April's fuck no.

She can't help a smirk as April trails off. Arilanna Tayrey has never claimed to be anything other than selfish. Rational self-interest is just - well, it's rational. But the attempt at diplomacy itself carries a lot of weight with her. She's willing to listen, to hear them all out.]

Alright, first thing. I'm all in favor of this being 100% voluntary, and I'll apologise if I made you think otherwise. My concerns were with the security issues, not the concept. You two- [April and Flan, she indicates with a gesture] -have been reassuring enough on that point. [April's absolutely right, if a person stealing artifacts wants to target Tayrey, they'll find some other way to target her without them. If they want to cause general mayhem? They'll carry right on down the corridor.]

The other thing is that you all might be grateful to Friday, but I'm fairly sure that her locating it here is supposed to be one more way to fuck with me. Torture me. Take even more out of my control and leave me worrying about what's across the corridor. But you know, I'm not inclined to let that happen. And like hell am I asking to change rooms. Not giving her the satisfaction. So you've got me on your side now, like it or not. I won't go out of my way, but I spend a lot of time working in my cabin. If I see anything odd, I'll text you.

[She grins.] And it's good to hear you're a union woman. I'm all for fair contracts. Of course you've got to uphold your values, no matter how far you are from home! [Ultra-libertarian Tayrey is pro-union? Yes. Freedom includes the freedom to organise!]

[Phew! Okay, major crisis averted, Lieutenant Tayrey doesn't have to be happy about it, but at least she seems to understand what's going on and she gets that they're not totally dismissing her either. Everything else can be sorted out after that.]

Fair contracts! That's good, and I'm with you! But yes, don't feel like you have to change cabins, you were here first! And I'm glad to have you on our side, you seem like a good person to know!

What I'll do is stop by on the regular and let you know what's new, then you're not worrying about what might be in there! It's the least I can do as our neighbour!

[She nods.] That all sounds... very agreeable. Thank you. I appreciate the consideration. [The words might be formal, but Tayrey's smiling now.]

I do like this cabin. It's quiet. There used to be a troll named Eridan living across from me, but he- [no let's not talk about that] -well, I don't know why the two of us ended up down here, but it worked for us. Anyway. Stop by whenever it's convenient. If I'm not in, I'll probably be on patrol. [She doesn't do much else these days.] I look forward to working with you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Who'd want to be human anyway? [Open]

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