come_sailaway | Give A Bitch A Break [October Open]

Entry tags:

Give A Bitch A Break [October Open]

Who: Erin Peters and YOU
What: AAAAAAAAA
When: Mid October Forward
Where: Library, Bobby's, possibly elsewhere
Warnings: Tiamat fallout, suicide discussion, depression & stress

There Is No Silver Bullet [Closed To Valdis | Library]

Finding Erin won't be hard, once Valdis is herself again; she's the only soul on the ship currently meditating into a killing trance, a state of no-mind she's hoping will be effective against Tiamat. She's...

Having obstacles. Intrusive thoughts, feelings, anxieties, these impede her meditation, but she's getting there. This has gone on long enough.

Maybe tell her the good news?

Grade A Hypocrisy [Library | After the Previous]

Erin keeps coming to the library to read, on the theory that she's definitely not isolating, look, it's a public space. What actually keeps happening is she gets three chapters in and passes out, drooling on the comfy chair. Coffee? No help. Tea? No help. Turning into a toy robot? The toy robot snores and turns back into Erin after an hour, leaving her sprawled on the table.

The Smoking Prompt [Bobby B's]

I'm writing this on a phone, Erin smokes multiple times a day, find her here. She's still drinking pretty heavily too.

Wildcard

It warm in Hell.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Okay. I get it. I'll keep Ylva company while you and Valdis picnic all day.

Erin. Thank you.

Love you little brother I will stop hugging Valdis soon

Valdis snuggles down next to Erin, Xena playing the background. She's not really paying attention to it, more interested in the fluctuating emotions within Erin. She still feels guilty for leaving Erin alone to deal with the flowers, feels guilty that Tiamat had used her against the woman she loves. Being a new kind of weapon, essentially a hostage was more painful than she could ever have imagined.

She reaches for Erin's hand, lacing her fingers through Erin's. "I'm sorry, Erin."

"...For what?" Erin squeezes with her wing, worry in her heart and her voice. "You didn't do anything wrong, love."

"For neglecting you. I couldn't be there during the flowers, and then I died and she came back in my place. I should have taken the threat from Harvey more seriously, I should have tried harder to be there to support you."

She should have warned Ari, told more people, maybe asked for help.

The urge to reassure is so strong; Erin's still feeling protective, worried, but...

No. Valdis admitted something difficult. It should be honored.

"I was a toxic wasteland during the flowers, I don't blame you. But..." Erin turns and nuzzles Valdis's shoulder. "... Sometimes it seems like we only get alone time when something bad happens."

"No, it's more than that."

There's more to say, but she's not sure how to explain the words she feels.

"We need to go on a date. A real one." She nuzzles Erin's shoulder. "I can't keep hiding away in here with you, no matter how safe it feels, no matter how much I don't want to share this intimacy with anyone else."

She's almost been here a year. Erin was one of the first people she'd met, though the meeting had been tense at the time, they still need to celebrate.

Can a soul blush? Erin's is trying. Her face goes hot too, but her tone is teasing: "Are you trying to keep me in the royal treasury, Valdis?"

Safe. It feels...amazing, to be called safe. Like a dream so old it was almost forgotten has come true.

"No," she snorts in reply. "I just want it to be us, and that's very selfish of me. I know you're jealous of Max, and now with Ash..."

She's probably jealous of Ash too.

"I don't know how to make you feel secure in us, but I know going dancing will lift your spirits."

"..." Erin sighs heavily. "There's a roof to how much you can do. I'm my own enemy, love, and fucking Head Voice loves its conspiracy theories. But...it's also the one that realized you were you first."

(Thank you.)

Don't mention it. Literally, never mention it again.

"It's...I'd love to go dancing. And I don't wanna be something or someone else for you, I love what we have. But...why do you prefer privacy between us?"

It's not an accusation. Just a soft question, looking to understand.

"I...I don't tell people things, Erin. For hundreds of years I was alone and told no one anything about who I really am. You were, kind of the first person I really trusted with anything substantial, and that's special to me. Even now, I tell you things that I don't tell Max, and even Ash is kept away from certain things, much to his frustration. But you, I don't keep anything from you, not really." She sighs. "I just don't want that to change."

Oh.

Erin's heart flutters, and she gives Valdis a soft kiss. "Why would that change? It's okay if it sounds crazy, me trying to explain the Ash thing definitely will."

Valdis kisses her back.

"I don't know why it would change, it just...feels like it would."

She tips her head.

"What Ash thing?"

Edited 2023-10-14 00:50 (UTC)

"Being jealous." Erin sighs. "It's. A lot of things. Sometimes I feel like you're gonna wake up and realize I'm not worth the trouble, which is. Again. Insane. But those feelings look at this guy with so much in common with you waltzing into your heart and they get scary and mean. Which is also insane; I've got things in common with you he can't understand."

"...Like I said. There's a roof on how much you can help. I gotta work on me."

"Ash would feel bad if he knew you were jealous."

Valdis snuggles closer.

"He's very insecure when it comes to me, just like you I suppose."

She'd say she doesn't know why she has this effect on people, but Max sometimes also feels as if he isn't enough.

"If I have chosen you, there's no need to doubt me."

"I guess when being with someone feels like a dream, you get scared to wake up." Erin's smile is wistful, and so very, very fond. "...You get to plan the date this time, I think. I'm playing the forbidden princess card."

"I don't know what that means, but I am quite capable of planning a date, my love."

Valdis looks back at the TV, wishing that those she loves could recognize their reality instead of worrying about waking up to find she isn't real.

Valdis, you're being Chomped. It's gentle yes but Erin is in fact giving in to the urge to bite people she loves.

It's very soothing for her.

"It means," Erin says after a bit just...like that..."it means that I've been persuaded to take my own advice. Helena, Crabb, Ylva, Cass...you... everyone's been worried. So I'm summoning the courage that I usually use to beat gods to death with meteoric iron and asking you to pamper me some."

Valdis squeezes her hand when she feels Erin's teeth on her skin.

"Does me showing up at your door in a sexy dress and taking you out dancing count as pampering?"

Because that was her plan.

"It definitely sounds real nice," Erin murmurs. "...God what I wouldn't give for a fancy party to be your arm candy in, but alas. Even if we hosted one I've got no rich people to bully here."

Well. There's one. But Erin doesn't know him well enough to do it right.

"...And, hey. If the other folks in my life are like, plotting something? I dunno. An intervention, kidnapping me to an excursion to the Care Bear dimension, whatever...I dunno. Maybe lend 'em a hand? Knowing my bullshit and having any control over it are very different and I might need to get dragged kicking and screaming to the spa or somethin'."

"I will lend them a hand, we all have your best interests at heart. But if you kick me I will knock you out before dragging you to the spa."

Under her breath: "Goddamnit why is it hot when she threatens me."

Out loud and significantly more of her own will: "As you decree, my love. Hey...thanks for...not letting me stay in my own head. 'm bad about that, and it's not friendly in here. It's...amazing, to have someone in my life where I don't even get the temptation to dissemble, y'know?"

"I know that feeling, very, very well."

She nuzzles into Erin's neck and kisses her on the cheek.

It's so tempting to just relax now, to be unburdened and calm in the heart. But Erin already put her big girl pants on, so there's one last thing to confess before she chickens out like she did last year.

"...November seventeenth. My Homecoming, the day I got back to Earth. If I was among my people it'd be something a lot like my birthday. Do anything you like with that knowledge."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Give A Bitch A Break [October Open]

[Texting Back]

[Last One]

After seeing Max

Re: After seeing Max

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject