exile [closed & open]

[prince_of_beasts]

Who: Dimitri, CR, and you
What: Reunions; aftermath
When: Dec.23rd onward
Where: Around the ship
Warnings: Survivor's guilt, PTSD, delusions, suicidal ideation

1. you've got sucker's luck (Darcy, cabins)

Mornings, every morning, Dimitri paces outside the cabins. It can't really be called 'patrolling'; he's too agitated, too sunk into himself. He starts at the fifth hour, and goes until the seventh, just in case, just in case.

When Darcy wakes in her bed, Dimitri's already pacing tight circles in front of her door.

2. oh you meant so much; have you given up? (Ossie & Giles, the cottage)

He's asleep on the doorstep when the latch of the gate clicks. An ear twitches. Dimitri's up and running before he's fully registered the sound, streaking down the path with a desperate yowl.

A few moments later, a fluffy yellow cannonball slams into Ossie's chest.

3. does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine? (Okie, Playback)

Okie's already left his cabin by the time Dimitri gets to it. Any thought of his ship phone is buried under three weeks of compounded exhaustion and hysterical grief, but a string of frantic questions leads him to Playback.

"Okie?" he calls, flinching as the flickering lights rake across the back of his skull. There's a shape, a familiar silhouette, Dimitri's heart breaks -- "Okie!" He bursts into a run and does not bother slowing down; he launches himself into Okie with a rattle of thunder, and kisses him on the mouth.

4. did you fall for the same empty answers again? (positive CR)

Dimitri searches for the people he knows. Anyone, everyone, any name he recognizes from that accursed signup sheet, desperate to know they made it back, that they didn't slip into some pocket of void on the journey between wherever-it-was and here. He knocks at cabin doors, paces through familiar haunts, occasionally remembers his ship phone long enough to send Are you back? Are you safe?

If he spots someone around the ship, though, he freezes in place, mouth open, eyes wide, face a marbled blotch of exhausted bruising, tear-stains, and bloodless terror. His throat works, but the most sound he can manage is a choking rasp.

5. oh, you're thinking too fast, you're like marbles on glass (open; pick a location or throw me your own!)

Eventually, the frenetic energy driving Dimitri has to run out. His spring unwound, he stutters to a stop wherever it leaves him:
- at the buffet, midway through reaching for a serving-spoon;
- in a stairwell staring blankly at the landing;
- in the showers on the sports deck, shoulders red from too long under water running too hot;
- in Sand Dollars, hands wrapped around a steaming paper cup;
- at night, at the edge of the upper deck, hands white-knuckled on the railing.
Always standing, wherever he comes to rest. His expression is hollow, his skin waxy, his hair greasy and limp; if he's called out to, he might look up, but his eyes are bleary and don't focus.

does it feel like a trial? (wildcard)

HMU in DMs here or bird1312 on Discord!

Comments

[yournewsidekick]

She pauses mid-chew. Swallows, after a beat, feeling the hunk of bread move down her chest through the growing ache.

Quietly, and a little baffled, Nimona says, "Not a lot of people think I'm worth protecting."

A lot more since she boarded the ship, granted, but if Nimona's still not totally used to people caring about her, she's definitely not used to people outright saying they'll protect her. Especially someone like Dimitri, who's as knight as they come.

[prince_of_beasts]

Dimitri nods. "Just there, on your temple."

[ossie_oswald]

He does notice the feeling of ribs and hipbones and Ossie hums quietly in concern.

"Would you like a meal that's a bit more substantial than just ham?"

[prince_of_beasts]

"Maoh."

Meals don't stick on the cat's ribs unless it stays in that shape long enough to digest, and it doesn't want to wait that long. It spills off Ossie's lap to the floor, and trots a few steps towards the stairs before looking back and meowing insistently.

[ossie_oswald]

"Alright, alright, along we pop," and Ossie eases himself up from the table to follow him upstairs.

[prince_of_beasts]

The cat ushers Ossie upstairs in the circuitous way of cats -- running forward, looking over its shoulder, and circling back around his heels before repeating the process, meowing loudly the whole time. It shoulders through the door to the spare room, considerately left ajar; everything is in order, and Dimitri's habits are as ascetic as ever, but it has the distinct air of a place that's been in use.

With an easy jump, the cat hops onto the bed. It gives its collar a pointed scratch. And then, deliberately but with some difficulty, pulls the bedsheet over its lower half.

[mistertwister]

"Ohh, I was afraid you'd say that. That's probably bad."

He squeezes Dimitri's hand, closes his eyes to focus on the touch.

"I've been hearin' wind on that side since right before everythin' ended over there. Storm wind."

[prince_of_beasts]

Dimitri shudders. Comfort is painful, after so long. It's been three weeks of grief, but a lifetime of guilt, compounded every hour they've been gone. It doesn't leave him empty -- there's more in him than a dozen lives of weeping could pour out -- but the pressure eases enough for him to breathe.

"What happened?" he croaks.

[saltwaterlungs]

"It was a village. The weird evil spy village that Peter had been trapped in, because it was run by the guy who ran it back in his world. He... kept us there. For fucking ages. And the whole time, he tried to break us. Get us to- to see things his way. Drugs, and torture, and whatever else."

...

"They didn't break me. That's the important bit. They didn't break me."

[ossie_oswald]

Ossie nimbly avoids stepping on the cat in a way that is far less supernatural and far more to do with the fact he has just always lived with cats.

The collar makes intuitive sense, and Ossie announces-

"For my next trick, I will make a fine young fellow appear from this cat! Abracadabra!"

And he removes the collar with a flourish.

cw emeto

[prince_of_beasts]

Dimitri is very, very still for a few heartbeats, each of which stretches on until the end of the world.

Then he bolts, scrabbling for the bathroom, where he retches acid from his empty stomach into the toilet.

[saltwaterlungs]

"Okay, well, I thought that last bit would be comforting but fuck me I guess," she grumbles quietly, following Dimitri into the bathroom.

"Hey," and she sets herself beside him, "it's okay. We all got out."

[prince_of_beasts]

Ta-daaa! There's a fine young man! Who wastes no time in pulling the bedsheet up to his chin. (Not quite fast enough to hide the ragged impalement scar under his ribs.)

Ossie's joke does take the edge off his mortification, though he still turns pink. "S-sorry. It's hard to do that part myself."

[prince_of_beasts]

It's all Dimitri can do to hack into the toilet. The ceramic is cold, at least -- until the smell of bile gets back up his nose, and he flings himself backwards, slamming his shoulders into the cabinet.

"Sorry," he wheezes, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. It does nothing to stop the dry heaves. It's in his sinuses. His head spins, the world warps, and suddenly the cool stone floor is very very bad -- he flings himself back past Darcy and into the room. He leaves himself crumpled on the floor; doesn't trust whatever's going to happen next. "I'm sorry," he repeats, "I-i'm sorry, I should have -- it should have been me -- "

[prince_of_beasts]

The air shifts, stagnant, choked with humidity and static.

"What ... what does that mean?"

[saltwaterlungs]

Darcy stays to the side like a cat owner watching their cat do zoomies, just trying to stay out of the path of destruction.

"No, it shouldn't have. You would've done way worse on this one, it was a good thing that you didn't come with. I'm fine, Miti, honestly."

[prince_of_beasts]

That's almost worse. If Darcy's fine, then Dimitri must be uniquely weak; then every oath Dimitri swore was meaningless, and he'd only ever have been broken at best and warped into a weapon against his dearest at worse. And how can it be better that Darcy suffered in Dimitri's place? How can he be so selfish?

He draws his knees to his chest, knots his fingers in his hair, curls over himself so tightly his ribs ache. " 'm sorry," he chokes, breathing through wheezing gasps, "I p-promised -- it should've, i-it should've -- "

[saltwaterlungs]

Darcy realises pretty quickly that her cold and measured responses are not. Working. And that whatever cold that has gripped her won't be shaken enough to offer any comfort. The kindest things she can think to say will still be crushing. She needs help.

So out the door her head goes, and she hollers-

"DEDUE-" wherever her brother goes, he isn't far behind.

[ossie_oswald]

He already has a hand firmly over his eyes.

"Of course- I'll be downstairs while you get dressed," and he quickly makes his departure.

Inside the wardrobe, along with Dimitri's clothes (cleaned and pressed) there are a few other outfits, all soft natural materials and vaguely reminiscent of the sort of clothes Ossie wears. Knitted vests, button-downs, and slacks. Just in case he wants the option.

[prince_of_beasts]

Dimitri has turned out to be a sweater-vest kind of boy when the climate allows, which for the time being means 'inside the Hollow and nowhere else'. He finds one of those in a blue-and-silver checker, and a collared shirt, and a pair of those light brown trousers with the crease pressed in -- he thinks the cottage likes it when he dresses to match it. And. He needs to put that extra step between himself and the person he used to be.

He comes back down the stairs with one hand on the rail, concentrating on every step, unsteady on his feet as though he's not used to having only two. When he looks up, there's a pale terror on his face, equal parts heartbreak and hope. In a voice like an old hinge, he says, "You're back."

[glassaxolotl]

Dedue has been up, of course. He knows how important it has been for Dimitri to check on the passengers each day at 6 am. He has given Dimitri some space to do so on his own, but he is awake should he be needed. So when he hears that call, he is soon down the hall.

“Darcy,” he says breathlessly, looking relieved to see her. He glances over at Dimitri and mumbles something in Duscur that the translator clumsily picks up as “By every god” and kneels by his side, rubbing his back.

[prince_of_beasts]

Dimitri leans into Dedue. He doesn't relax, but his wheezing gasps come a little less frantic. His shaking eases, less coiled to bolt.

He's making sounds that might be attempts to explain, but nothing intelligible is coming out.

[ossie_oswald]

"Yes I am- terribly sorry to have left you, my dear boy," Ossie hadn't gone back to the dining room- he had stayed lingering by the stairs, and just as soon as Dimitri's back within arm's reach, he's gently pulled into a hug.

"In the flesh, and fit as a fiddle. I really didn't expect we'd be gone so long."

[saltwaterlungs]

"Hey-" Darcy says, and puts herself on the other side of Dimitri.

"We've got to stop meeting like this. He was freaking out- thought I was dead, and when I calmed him down from that he started freaking out about not being on the excursion."

[mistertwister]

"I... I dunno. I dunno. Maybe nothin'. Prolly somethin'."

His face wrinkles up, a frown and a furrowed brow forming and being let go again.

"I'm too tired to figure it out right now. Too wound up."