Valdis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
redlightgreenlight) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
come_sailaway2023-12-30 05:37 pm
redlightgreenlight) wrote in come_sailaway2023-12-30 05:37 pm
Regrets Collect like old Friends
Who: Valdis and Open with Some Closed
What: Valdis does stuff around the Serena Eterna, feel free to join her
When: January and aftermath of the village
Where: All over
Warnings: In each starter
And all of the ghouls come out to play | Erin | CW: Discussion of the Village
The one person she hasn’t seen since early on is the one person she’s most ashamed to see. With a small knock on her lover’s door, Valdis almost hopes she doesn’t answer, it would give her more time to actually figure out what to say, but she’d apparently been avoiding everyone for three days, and Erin deserves better than that.
“Erin?”
And every demon wants his pound of flesh | Pool | Open | CW: Discussion of the Village
It’s quiet under the water. No one to bother her. No feelings to overtake her own. She can be alone with her thoughts and how her actions at the village had hurt others. For a time it had been fun, and in the end they had won by killing him, but she still feels like she lost. She lost because she stopped paying attention to what mattered.
She releases bubbles from her mouth, watching them rise up to the surface. She’s lost count of the minutes she’s been sitting on the bottom of the pool, but she can see a figure looking down. Probably time to go up for actual air. She pushes off the bottom and swims up to the edge. It’s not that far.
“Hey,” she says after she breaks the surface. “The water is pretty nice.”
But I like to keep some things to myself | Pillow Pit | Open | CW: None
Valdis sits in the pillow pit, leaning on one hip with her feet curled up next to her. She’s reading Sherlock Holmes again, the books she always goes back to. The books she’s read three or four times since she first arrived over a year ago. It’s funny how finding comfort in the small things helps so much.
“You are welcome to come join me,” she says without looking up from her book when someone walks in. “Just no pillow fights.”
I like to keep my issues drawn | Sand Dollar | Open | CW: None
Behind the counter at Sand Dollar, Valdis is perfecting the art of foam. Like actually trying to create hearts and flowers from the foam in the espresso machine.
“Drawing is so much easier than this,” she signs, setting aside something that looks more like a skull than a heart.
“Here,” She shoves it across the counter to whoever happens to walk in. “I promise it tastes better than it looks.”
It's always darkest before the dawn | Wildcard | CW: None
Pm to discuss or just go for it
After the Launch
And I’m Damned if I do, and I’m Damned if I don’t | The Library | CW: None
The Bible, a book of demonology and some script covered in runes lie on one of the tables in the otherwise empty library. Valdis mutters to herself as she reads from another version of the bible, leaning over the other and comparing the two versions before making more notes in some sort of dead language. More pages, absolutely covered in runes and sketches cover every single surface.
“No need to stare,” she says, not looking up to see who has entered.
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road | Stan the Man | CW: None
Unlike the last several times she’s been in this particular mood, the only thing in her glass is water. The water glass is the only thing she’s even made use of, the bottles of alcohol on the shelves and behind the bar are untouched.
Revelations hangs on her hip, the first time she’s seen fit to carry the sword in months. Somehow it seems the better weapon to use should an attacker show up, a weapon tied to her and her soul in a way no one could possibly understand. Maybe she needs to lean more into who she should be instead of who she wants to be.
With a long sigh, she takes a drink of water, then picks up a small knife and flings it at the mirror behind the bar sink. It shatters into hundreds of shining, reflective pieces, but the tip of the knife stays buried in the wall about half an inch deep.
“Wasn’t even trying that hard.” She says to herself, taking another drink from the glass.
Looking for Heaven, Found the Devil In Me | Wildcard
PM to Discuss or just go for it.
What: Valdis does stuff around the Serena Eterna, feel free to join her
When: January and aftermath of the village
Where: All over
Warnings: In each starter
And all of the ghouls come out to play | Erin | CW: Discussion of the Village
The one person she hasn’t seen since early on is the one person she’s most ashamed to see. With a small knock on her lover’s door, Valdis almost hopes she doesn’t answer, it would give her more time to actually figure out what to say, but she’d apparently been avoiding everyone for three days, and Erin deserves better than that.
“Erin?”
And every demon wants his pound of flesh | Pool | Open | CW: Discussion of the Village
It’s quiet under the water. No one to bother her. No feelings to overtake her own. She can be alone with her thoughts and how her actions at the village had hurt others. For a time it had been fun, and in the end they had won by killing him, but she still feels like she lost. She lost because she stopped paying attention to what mattered.
She releases bubbles from her mouth, watching them rise up to the surface. She’s lost count of the minutes she’s been sitting on the bottom of the pool, but she can see a figure looking down. Probably time to go up for actual air. She pushes off the bottom and swims up to the edge. It’s not that far.
“Hey,” she says after she breaks the surface. “The water is pretty nice.”
But I like to keep some things to myself | Pillow Pit | Open | CW: None
Valdis sits in the pillow pit, leaning on one hip with her feet curled up next to her. She’s reading Sherlock Holmes again, the books she always goes back to. The books she’s read three or four times since she first arrived over a year ago. It’s funny how finding comfort in the small things helps so much.
“You are welcome to come join me,” she says without looking up from her book when someone walks in. “Just no pillow fights.”
I like to keep my issues drawn | Sand Dollar | Open | CW: None
Behind the counter at Sand Dollar, Valdis is perfecting the art of foam. Like actually trying to create hearts and flowers from the foam in the espresso machine.
“Drawing is so much easier than this,” she signs, setting aside something that looks more like a skull than a heart.
“Here,” She shoves it across the counter to whoever happens to walk in. “I promise it tastes better than it looks.”
It's always darkest before the dawn | Wildcard | CW: None
Pm to discuss or just go for it
After the Launch
And I’m Damned if I do, and I’m Damned if I don’t | The Library | CW: None
The Bible, a book of demonology and some script covered in runes lie on one of the tables in the otherwise empty library. Valdis mutters to herself as she reads from another version of the bible, leaning over the other and comparing the two versions before making more notes in some sort of dead language. More pages, absolutely covered in runes and sketches cover every single surface.
“No need to stare,” she says, not looking up to see who has entered.
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road | Stan the Man | CW: None
Unlike the last several times she’s been in this particular mood, the only thing in her glass is water. The water glass is the only thing she’s even made use of, the bottles of alcohol on the shelves and behind the bar are untouched.
Revelations hangs on her hip, the first time she’s seen fit to carry the sword in months. Somehow it seems the better weapon to use should an attacker show up, a weapon tied to her and her soul in a way no one could possibly understand. Maybe she needs to lean more into who she should be instead of who she wants to be.
With a long sigh, she takes a drink of water, then picks up a small knife and flings it at the mirror behind the bar sink. It shatters into hundreds of shining, reflective pieces, but the tip of the knife stays buried in the wall about half an inch deep.
“Wasn’t even trying that hard.” She says to herself, taking another drink from the glass.
Looking for Heaven, Found the Devil In Me | Wildcard
PM to Discuss or just go for it.
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He's not alone and she is right there. Sure he wishes she would beat his door down. Come find him and force him to talk. That's not who she is though.
Taking a deep breath he decides to say fuck it and just act. He grabs her and pulls her into his lap. Taking the book from her he looks the page over and starts reading it to her.
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Ash keeps his eyes on the page and keeps reading to her.
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She grabs at her book, intending to snatch it out of his hands.
"And you read too slow."
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She sounds calm, like she wants to actually have a conversation, because she does. She wants to know why he had been so aggressive, and why he's been so distant with his feelings since they got back.
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He scoots a little bit and crosses his legs.
"I spent all day and night with 2 and his goons. Get back to my cottage, it's fucking trashed, you come in and the first thing you said was a jab about how I wouldn't have been hurt if I just wore shoes. I wasn't the only one being aggressive and angry and that was just the first jab you threw at me. If you want me to recognize the shitty things I said and did, you need to do the same."
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Even if breaking a broom wasn't explicitly violence against her, it was still unnecessary and aggressive.
"I don't know how much of that was you and how much was Number 2's influence, but I felt it was best to stay away, if nothing else than to protect you, which backfired spectacularly I might add."
She still doesn't quite understand why he hasn't accepted her apologies or that she feels guilty over what happened to him, but it hurts, like something cutting into her chest.
"And you haven't answered my question, so I will rephrase. What would you have preferred I done when Number 2 tried to take both Steve and I away?"
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He hates that cottage so much. If he could go back and blow it up he would, just to prove that he doesn't care about it at all.
"Valdis, it was never about the cottage. Or what memories you weren't ready to share with me. I keep saying that and I don't know how to get you to hear me or understand me, I'm not lying to you. I guess you were probably right, huh? It's only been five months. We don't really know each other. That day, that argument...it was different. Just felt like you were intent on making sure that I knew where I stand. I'm the new guy and I don't matter quite as much. On this ship I feel fucking invisible a lot of the time. I could disappear and most people would never notice. I never thought you would be someone who made me feel that way too and you did. I feel like I'm not allowed to care about you or what happens to you because it's just not my business. Every jab you made felt like a shove to keep me away from you or just a reminder of everything I'm not."
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"I only meant that we haven't had the time for us to know all sides of each other yet. You told me I was acting differently, and maybe that's true; We weren't on the Eterna, the same rules didn't apply. Kevin became a threat, I don't tolerate threats and I acted accordingly, like I would if I were back home. I'm sorry I hurt you. I feel like you're asking me to prove that I love you and I don't know how."
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He shakes his head. "You have nothing to prove to me."
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Valdis shakes her head, leaning back against him.
"You say that, but it still feels like you doubt me."
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She reaches down to take his hand, holding it gently in hers, examining the callouses and scars.
"Love isn't an equivalent exchange, Ash. It's a gift we give each other because we want to, not because we deserve it."
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