And I am Done with My Graceless Heart

[redlightgreenlight]

Who: Valdis and friends
What: Valdis does stuff around the Serena Eterna (more to be added)
When: January Aftermath of the Launch
Where: All over
Warnings: In each starter



And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope | The Memorial | Open | CW: None

After her discussion with Darcy, she knows the best place to try to reach any of the past passengers is at the memorial. Legends say that the dead tend to congregate around places that are familiar or meaningful to them, so it’s worth a try.

Valdis sits cross legged next to the memorial, breathing deeping as she sends her magic out among the items and images left behind, sinking it down into the ship and spreading it across every floor and into every room, trying to find every corner of the Eterna. She can feel every passenger as they move, feel their life and their emotions, but she’s not interested in the living, only those who no longer inhabit a body.

She is completely still, almost not even breathing.

It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat | Erin, Ash, Maxwell | Starting in Library | CW: ???

Valdis is indeed still in the Library, but she’s not moving around or writing as furiously as before. She seems rather tired, the pain still sharp in her chest. She releases a long sigh as Ash texts her, he must have found Maxwell.

Yeah. Still here.

Comments

Library. Again. He loves books.

[professionalriot]

I'm coming back. With Maxwell.

He doesn't love this idea. Or trust the warlock. Only thing that gives him any hope is that Maxwell looked genuinely concerned about her condition. He's hoping that will be enough to keep him from doing anything stupid.

Ash doesn't say anything as he leads Maxwell through the halls to the library. Walking back in he glances at Valdis.

"I told him about the pain." He sighs. "And the scent."

Re: Library. Again. He loves books.

[freedomsuitsme]

“Ms. D’Angelo.” He can see the pain etched into her face.

“What… are you experiencing, exactly?”

What is he supposed to say at a time like this? He can’t just show his hand, not when the reveal could mean so much for powering the ship. But… perhaps he’s been through too many bitter winters and scorching summers to demand anyone “sacrifice themselves for his comfort” like he might have done a long, long time ago. This is bigger than him, though. This is… this is… gods, how could he have been so stupid?

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis looks up when Ash enters with Maxwell. Extreme dislike, the kind that makes her feel ill, fills her when she sees him, but she has no idea why. As far as she can remember, she had no reason to dislike him. Aside from the fact it's likely he was involved with Tiamat and the cause of her death.

She glances at Ash, then back to Maxwell.

"It feels like someone is taking a knife to my heart. Over and over again. It's very painful. Sharp. Sometimes it's better, but I know for a fact that it's going to continue to get worse."

A pause. She glances at Ash again, like she might have more to tell, but says nothing more.

[professionalriot]

Taking a seat he leans back, watching them both. Mostly watching her. When she looks at him again he lifts his eyebrows. Curious.

"I told him everything we talked about. There isn't anything else he should know is there?"

[freedomsuitsme]

He takes a deep breath, choosing his words carefully.

"Ms. D'Angelo... I trust that you care about the other passengers, correct? Would it be a correct assumption that you would sacrifice a great deal to help those that you care about?"

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis looks back to her book, when Ash asks his question. She has no appetite and sleep is far too elusive these days, but Maxwell speaks before she can answer. The look on her face filled with pained hatred.

"Do I have a choice?"

Or has someone else made that decision for her without her consent? Being forced to sacrifice and choosing to sacrifice are two very different things.

[professionalriot]

This conversation is moving very quickly in a direction that doesn't sound like fixing whatever was done to her. He stands back up, shaking his head.

"Hold on." His voice is strangely calm. Too calm. "Let's back up real quick to the part where you," He points at Maxwell. "Tell us what happened in the morgue. No one is making any decisions or sacrificing anything until we know what is happening. Time to put all the cards on the table before anyone gets hurt." Ash glances at Valdis. "We don't have time for anyone to not be completely honest. Even small details could be helpful."

The way she keeps looking at Maxwell has his attention. She said she doesn't really know him but her eyes say otherwise. Unless she is pissed at Ash for bringing Maxwell here.

[freedomsuitsme]

"It... was not a decision I made lightly. I arrived on this ship after the release of the ghosts from the engine, and I've heard from the other passengers how conditions have been declining. I've heard how the excursions have been growing more deadly, and more suffering is required to keep things stable. After Valdis was murdered, I was... approached by an entity occupying her body. I saw an opportunity for putting emergency measures in place." There's so much tension in him right now, because more and more he's coming to face how wrong what he did was.

[redlightgreenlight]

Anything she might have added to help Ash and Maxwell understand everything that is going wrong instantly vanishes when Maxwell tells her he spoke with Tiamat.

"Please help me understand," she says quietly, though the hatred on her features vanishes, that tone indicates that someone is either about to die, or is at risk of being disemboweled. "I am being tortured, every second, of every day, because you felt the need to force some sort of emergency measure on me on behalf of a Goddess whose only desire in life is to be rid of me so she can do what she wants, because you believed I would not help of my own volition?"

Which leads her to wonder just what his plans had been, or what the purpose even was. She still doesn't know what he did, but she knows it's likely different from what he believes he did, because Tiamat only works in her own self interest.

It's a Shot in the Dark | Erin

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis steps out of the library and pulls out her phone to text Erin, but she's halfway to her room by the time she even figures out what to say. In the end she decides to keep it short and simple.

Hey, can you meet me at my room? There's something I need you to do.

[crushed_pearls]

Give me a level of armament to arrive with

[redlightgreenlight]

You shouldn't need any actual weapons

[crushed_pearls]

Just the sword then. Erin arrives within twenty minutes, discreetly knocking.

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis opens the door to let her enter, still trying to get around the fact that she's kept things from Erin. Again. But it's not like she was purposefully hiding things, just trying to not cause her lover worry when she's been recovering.

She waits for Erin to come inside before closing the door and returning to her bed.

"Before I tell you anything, I need you to promise me you won't go on a murderous rampage."

[crushed_pearls]

"..." Erin throws her hands in the air and flops down onto the floor next to the door. She is, in fact, sulking. Petulant. Here we go again. "...I'm not a child, Valdis," she mutters. "What happened. How bad did you let it get before we hit the Godzilla Threshold of actually telling me?"

[redlightgreenlight]

That reaction is about right, and she's tempted to defend herself immediately, but:

"I'm not telling you anything unless you promise to not murder anyone over it. Friday doesn't need the extra stress."

[crushed_pearls]

"This conversation isn't over, it's just getting fuckin' deferred." Erin takes a shaky breath. "...I promise. On the name my mother gave me. What. Happened?"

The Beginning of the End Part 1 | Closed to Clarke

[redlightgreenlight]

Crichton had been a fool, telling Valdis of Ari's plan, of the string. Poor boy has failed once again. She has no idea where the stupid Tradeliner girl has hidden such a precious object, but the place to start would be her now abandoned room. Breaking in is easy, the lock easily giving under her strength. Now the hard work starts, though time is likely not on her side.

She starts digging through drawers, in the closet, through the desk. Looking anywhere that small string might be hidden. Soon she's tearing apart the bed, looking underneath objects and generally causing a mess. She freezes as she hears someone walking down the hall. Few usually come this way. Maybe the dumb man told more people. Yet it's the scent of that other girl that reaches her. A tiny smile crosses her face. Maybe the string has already been found.

Maybe Clarke has it. Things couldn't be more perfect.

[skaikru]

Ari has been gone for more than a few days, her most precious and important artifacts already rifled through. It is quite possibly the only time Clarke Griffin has had express permission to rob the tomb of another passengers room, but it'd hardly been her first rodeo. Missing from the confines of 159 are a futuristic pocket knife, the stockpile of medicine so lovingly curated over the last year-plus, one green army man, a charcoal drawing, a very important letter salvaged from between boring tradeline papers, and a single nondescript length of red string. She'd been careful not to be seen; to be fast — in and out, no time wasted, papers only replaced with a hint of the coordination they'd once been stowed. And every single waking moment since, Clarke had felt as if she'd once again painted a target just above her heart.

And maybe that's why, when she sees the suspicious shadow of a door open ajar down the hall, her stomach drops. Paranoia and the suffocating need to know everything she can has her feet moving with slow, solid footfalls down to the very end of the cabin hallway. Every internal organ seized up, every muscle insisting she run instead of stick her nose into whatever mess may be taking place behind Ari Tayrey's busted bedroom door. The missing woman had always objected to anyone else entering her private space without express permission, but she's gone now. Passed on her knowledge to a few select people who'd just been too slow to act on it, and maybe now came looking.

Clarke has no idea who she's about to find on the other side of the broken door when she pushes it open, but the absolute turbulent chaos of Ari's room doesn't shock as much as it should. Bed overturned, drawers pulled out. And amidst all of it —

Her throat constricts. Something hard and accusatory slots into place. She is instantly aware of all her emotions and tries to tamper them down; does her absolute best at refusing to feel fear, and certainly not acknowledge the way the string currently lays heavy around her own neck, mostly obscured and tucked into the neckline of her shirt. Doesn't even reach up to self consciously pluck at her collar, just to be sure. Just stares hard.

"What are you doing, Valdis?"

[redlightgreenlight]

She's already facing the door by the time Clarke appears at the door. She shrugs off the girl's tone, uncaring in general, but especially about this. The young woman may prove useful, so she'll attempt to be cordial.

"Why hello, Clarke," she purrs, offering a smile. "I'm afraid Valdis is currently unavailable, but it's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Tiamat."

[skaikru]

Just like the time she'd seen Siffleur get up and crouch on top of a poker table in the middle of the casino, or listened to Pratt in the midst of a jacket-themed mental spiral, or finally noticed the shadow stalking the teen lodge on their winter retreat — everything about this moment sets her teeth on edge. The purr, the smile, the introduction. If blood could actually run cold, hers would resemble icy spirals clogging up the veins; a classic fear response. The swoop and drop of her stomach lurching, the heavy settling of blood in her legs that makes them feel heavy as stones.

Immediately, Clarke wants to run.

Also immediately, she recognizes that wouldn't go well this time.

"...right. I think she may have told me about you."

[redlightgreenlight]

Ah yes. The heart she's not used to having races with delight at the fear spiking in the aura of the little girl standing in the doorway. It's actually delicious. The only thing better is that this sad human actually wants the same thing she does. To depose the Captain and escape this realm.

"In a manner of speaking." The normal emerald green eyes have not been green this whole time. In fact, they seem to glow a bright blood red. "Luckily for you, we're on the same side."

[skaikru]

Yeah, the change in eye color really adds to the uncanny factor here. There will never not be something deeply unsettling and just plain upsetting about watching something else wear the face of someone she'd come to know and at least moderately care about. But that last little bit, the hint at same sides manages to snag at the corners of curiosity and drag them to the surface through rising panic.

"Oh yeah? Which side is that?"

Like, Clarke knows where she stands, and which standing point Valdis had been wallowing in last they'd met. And interprets that this new potential danger knows her, but there's something to say for hearing it spoken aloud.

[redlightgreenlight]

"This realm is dying and it's going to take everyone with it. The Captain has completely given up, he's just waiting for the end to take him. Pathetic really."

Tiamat stands up and steps closer to Clarke, still enjoying the fear and the new sensation of twisted curiosity. This is a girl who would do what needs to be done to reach her goal and not regret a moment of it.

"I don't wish to have my newfound life cut short, and the power of a Goddess could be very useful to you and your ilk. Despite his current state of mind, you couldn't hope to defeat him. And if what is coming isn't any friendlier, well...a Goddess is a good ally to have in the case of that as well."

[skaikru]

She means to will her legs to move, to step back and preserve the several feet between them like that would do her any good. But despite the panic signals rocketing up and down her spinal column, Clarke stays exactly where she is as Tiamat approaches. It's hard not to agree with that proclamation of pathetic in regards to the Captain — if he'd never built this pocket reality in the first place, he wouldn't have the ghosts to lose that would cause it to collapse; they never would have been through a fraction of what'd happened on board and on excursions. The sheer amount of people who feel kindly towards him for leveraging their souls in order to escape his own torment has astounded Clarke from day one, and begun to disgust her by day two. And even if half the passengers simply feel grateful for the Captain's intervention saving their life, they now seem awfully willing to just sit around and wait for death as the djinn does nothing to fix things.

And she's just — tired. Angry. Currently very on edge, but not willing to shy away from any option (regret to come later, depending on how things play out). And, oh if it doesn't strike a chord to be offered the power of a goddess at her side to help achieve this last ditch hail mary that could potentially save their lives. Was that not exactly what she'd been after when putting faith in Guabancex all those months back, or getting on her knees to cajole Barbatos to teach her how to pray? And now here comes a third, who isn't even asking Clarke to convince her it's worth the frontal assault. Who is speaking in promises (very useful to you) and facts (you cannot hope to defeat him) and offering contingency (if what's coming isn't any friendlier)...

It's so tempting. If never able to obtain the power required to rattle the bars of the Captain's prison herself, this is the next best thing, coming about at the perfect time. Clarke wants this. But she knows by now, not all deux ex machina moments play out as gloriously. It feels remiss not to at least ask:

"H... how do I know I can trust you?"