END GAME: THE COUNTDOWN STARTS

[sailmods]

[the prisoners wake up on cold, hard floors.

the lights are bright, glaring, a sterile cell with sterile bars facing a sterile hall. the prisoners with you, across from you, and no one else. no rocking of a ship in waves, nothing. just the prisoner and their prison.

time passes, one assumes. the rhythmic click of Friday’s heels down the hall. it’s almost like the ticking of a clock.]

Comments

[tempingainteasy]

"This is just sad." April says.

Is that about the state of this once majestic and untameable free-roaming 90s cartoon, now confined and brought down to normal? Or just at the joke whiffing? Who could say, but the sympathy is in their voice either way, from one out-of-print medium to another.

[not_the_last]

"I -- I don't understand the reference," she says awkwardly. "What's a pinokio?"

[gnighteverybody]

Thanks for the vote of confidence, April.

"A character from a 19th century Italian children's series- specifically a puppet that comes to life, goes on adventures, has zany antics, and then becomes a real boy and settles down to live a life of morality and responsibility."

Yakko gestures.

"Do we want to take this again?"

[not_the_last]

Nope, Cass is still at sea here. (Figuratively and literally, though there's no way to confirm the literally at the moment.)

"I think I still don't understand. Are you a puppet?"

[gnighteverybody]

"... Sort of?"

He can't expect her to know, it's not like she's From the animated series of her thing, not like Yakko is with his anyway.

"You know when you get a stack of paper and draw a ball bouncing, and then you flip those pages really fast it looks like a ball bouncing? Usually I'm that. I'm not real, I'm a cartoon. Drawn up by a bunch of sweaty weirdos whose parents are very proud they went into the arts in order to entertain kids and make Warner Brothers rich. So I guess you could call me a puppet. But the point is, I'm not usually a hairy little guy just like this. I mean- what is this, fur texture? Actual gloves? It's awful. I look like I belong on Deviantart."

[tempingainteasy]

"You look like your company pivoted to 3D and killed its animation department." April says. "You look like the third party license-filed off legally distinct 3D render direct to DVD movie version of yourself."

Dry as it is, April's assessment does at least have commiseration in its tone. After all, look at them: They look like a low poly indie retro horror model.

[not_the_last]

(It wouldn't help if she were from the animated series; none of them know they're animated. Not even Scanlan.) (So far.)

"I see," says Cassandra, almost truthfully. "So usually you're a, a drawing, and now you're ... real? Like Pinocchio."

[gnighteverybody]

"Hey- that's a bit much coming from the thing that's going to make Markiplier even richer!" he snaps at April.

Ugh. Even one of his favourite nurses aboard can't comfort him in this, his darkest and most realistic of hours.

"Usually, yes, thank you, now can we do this from the top?"

[tempingainteasy]

Ahhhh the catharsis of an insult that's true and about one's present, shitty situation!

"Oh, please, I'd be lucky to be the second game in a three scary games video, the one that isn't wild or janky enough for the start and too mid to finish on." April says, and then nods their head at Yakko. "You got it worse, though, 'cause at least I don't look like proof of concept for a live-action remake."

[not_the_last]

Cassandra looks from Yakko to April and back again with a look that says is there a language you're speaking and why isn't the translation effect working?

[gnighteverybody]

"THEY SONIC'D MEEEEEEEE-" he wails, "BEFORE THEY DID THE VISUAL REDEVELOPMEEEEEENT!!!"

Yakko presses his face further against the bars, pulling his lips back like a threatened chimpanzee.

"Look at me!! I have gums!! Gums!!!"

[pointofhonoria]

From the back of the cell, without even raising her head: "Y'just keep sayin' words and even the ones that bleedin' mean something clearly ain't bein' used how they're s'posed t'be, God's bleedin' teeth..."

[gnighteverybody]

"Oh hey Crabb!"

Immediately distracted and toddles over, hunching over her. His usual toon charms have, as aforementioned, been replaced with an Uncanny reality that is very bad to look at.

"Did you hear my Pinocchio bit earlier? Do you want to? I really think it's a winner I might just need to keep workshopping it."

[tempingainteasy]

"Oh yeah, that'll save it!" April calls out from their cell. "Keep going, though, maybe if you run it far enough into the ground, it'll punch through the hull and we'll have a way out!"

1/2

[gnighteverybody]

"OH YEAH?!" Yakko calls back, "SEE HOW FUNNY YOU ARE WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKING SCRIPT IN FRONT OF YOU-"

...

2/2

[gnighteverybody]

Did he just.

Yakko immediately lightens up and begins triumphantly trotting around in a circle, yelling-

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"

If he's real then there's no more censor bleeps baby!!!!

[tempingainteasy]

"YEAH!!" April shouts in encouragement? What even are sides in a state like this? "Get it out, little man! Fuck the FCC and the TV-PG ratings!"

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb, who definitely did hear the Pinocchio gag and is immensely relieved that Yakko gets distracted immediately, still does not look up into his uncanny little face. "At least that's bleedin' better than the beeping..."

[not_the_last]

There's only so much line of sight to go around, but Cassandra leans a little sideways nonetheless to try to address Crabb directly, letting April and Yakko have whatever this moment is.

"Are you all right, Crabb? Given the circumstances?"

[pointofhonoria]

"Be a lot better if I knew where the Hell a buncha people are, but yeah, I'm alright given the circumstances. Pretty used to wakin' up in a cell, really."

Repeat occurrence, back home. Comes with the job and trying to screw over your corrupt government.

"You holdin' up alright?"

[not_the_last]

"Much the same," she says. "On both counts ... how are you used to waking up in a cell?"

It's not the most delicate of questions, but it's probably better than focusing on the people whose location and status they don't know.

[pointofhonoria]

"Usually after bein' knocked out by some strapping big bloke or broad who's got a problem with me or what I do. Happens more than you'd think when you start messin' around interferin' with government corruption." She nods her head to the side a bit. "Or maybe that's about as often as you'd think, playing that game."

[not_the_last]

More than she'd think is closer, if only because she wouldn't expect a corrupt government to let someone so persistent survive falling into their hands more than twice.

"I don't suppose you've had any luck escaping from cells like this, in all of those goings-on?" It's only half serious; if Crabb had any useful experience to apply, she'd be doing it by now.

[pointofhonoria]

"Used to mostly wait it out and take potshots at Peoria every time she came by, if I'm bein' totally honest." Ferrier would usually come and get her when they inevitably didn't have anything solid to hold her on; they'd made themselves enough of a public presence that Gall's options for dealing with them were limited. "And the last time we got pulled out by a couple friends who snuck in and pulled the old 'steal the guard's clothes' gambit. Mind you, don't get me wrong, I know how t'pick a lock or two, and I've got myself outta a bind that way a few times, but there ain't no locks in here."

[not_the_last]

Cassandra sighs. "I'm afraid all my experience breaking people out of prison cells also depends on locks. I don't know how to begin here."

She can feel the beginnings of panic and despair seeping up around her, and tries to think how to keep pressing them down.