★ SEP. (CATCH ALL); they say i'm dangerous 'cuz i break all the cages.

[opheliac]

Who: jinx & YOU
When: all of september
Where: all throughout the boat
What: things that will happen with her during this month. some will be open & some will be private. all jinx's top-levels, her phone texting, and her one-on-one will permanently go here for the month.
Warnings: jinx suffers from mental illness. such as the following - schizophrenia, hallucinations, PTSD, & separation anxiety. these may or may not happen in this log.

WEEK 1 (09/01 - 09/03)
█ JINX ➜ 09.01 ➜ TOP-LEVEL

WEEK 2 (09/04 - 09/10)
N/A

WEEK 3 (09/11 - 09/17)
N/A

WEEK 4 (09/18 - 09/24)
█ JINX ➜ 09.18 ➜ TOP-LEVEL (backdated.)

WEEK 5 (09/25 - 09/30)
N/A

code credit to: thisismanx

Comments

[wimdy]

Ehe, I had fun! You know, maybe we needed something like a beach day and to simply let loose like this every once in a while. [ though he has his suspicions that there's something going on with this island, but he isn’t such a detective and couldn’t find out what. ] I’ll be right back with some water, all right? Watch out for Jinx, Mister Bird!

Get Jinxed! [ ah, it seems this is the same dusk bird as before… he gives it a light pat before running off to fetch that water then. ]

[opheliac]

(she watches venti for a moment to head off for water and then her gaze is to the bird. it does appear it's the same one from before. how funny. but she doesn't stare at it long as she moves her head up too look at the night sky.)

... You can probably understand me, right? Or not.

(is she about to have a deep conversation with a bird? yes.)

Does it get borin' for you to fly every day? Just...y'know... seein' the world from below? (...) I wish it'd stay night all the time. I hate mornings. They mock me...

(she turns to the bird again.)

Do you get nightmares at all?

[wimdy]

[ the bird cocks its head, not quite giving any indication whether it understands her or not. then just leans over a little more and runs its beak through her braids, as if trying to preen her.

and then in a softer voice, similar to venti’s, ] Amazing.

[ not quite an answer, but maybe it’s as close as it’s going to get. and in the meantime there are the sound of footsteps, venti returning back with a glass of water. ]

[opheliac]

Amazing people aren't usually monsters but thanks for the thought.

(oh, hello. jinx carefully sits up with an immediate hand over her forehead. so this is what it feels like to go overboard. for the third time, she really focuses on venti and then spots his hair.)

Did... Did your hair change or somethin'?

[wimdy]

[ the question of monstrosity miiight just go over the bird’s head, but if it knew what jinx was talking about maybe it’d peck her harder in reproach…?!

venti meanwhile re-takes his seat by jinx’s side; the cup of water goes to her hand, though he keeps his touch there over hers. even his hand seems a little smaller, he tilts his head, something of his face is a little gentler too. ] Ehe~

A little bit. I talked to a friend at the drinking game and he kind of… gave me an idea to try something new. Shall I help you sit up for the water?

[opheliac]

(bird is about to get drop kicked. but instead, she pokes its beck with her finger.)

No, I'm good. I think I got it.

(sitting more upright and taking that sip, she tries to get her mind straight so she can take a full on look on her friend. jinx sees the hair, hands being smaller, retracing the sound of his voice, the face...)

... Are you a chick?

[wimdy]

[ oh… seems she caught on pretty fast. he barely looks very different, but now she could kind of twine a braid around a finger, almost a little shy or embarrassed but not even entirely certain why. ] You’re pretty quick on the uptake, Jinx.

Mhm, I am. I saw a friend change like so, and it made me wonder a little… [ but at the same time, there’s a bit of nervousness. there’s a reason why she had the form she did after all. and yet she wonders if it’s all right to change. ] I’ll change back soon enough, but I suppose I… wanted to try something different.

[ she both does and doesn’t. ]

[opheliac]

Hey, that's good, though. About the uh, y'know, tryin' stuff. We talked about that.

(she flashes him a lazy smile before taking a slower sip while also trying to form words in her mind. a small "ahh" after that drink then clumsily closes the cap.)

The new name and the look... I'm proud of you. Even if none of this sticks and you don't like it in the end, point is you went for it. That's a big step.

[wimdy]

[ it’s… nice of her to say. and she tries to take some comfort in it, how strange it is that it both helps and at the same time there’s still some existential nervousness she’s not sure how to describe, or if it’s just unhelpable. she clasps her hands, looking down to her lap. ] I think…

It feels strange. I don’t want to change because I’ll be farther away from… [ his friend. and now her fingers find the edge of her cloak again. ] When I spent so long trying to be like him, or even trying to be him. I don’t know what… or who I should be, apart from like him.

[ it kind of feels like a betrayal to even try this much. ]

[opheliac]

(right. she can... have a good meaning conversation, no problem. it won't be trouble at all. jinx takes one more sip for good measure before cautiously scooting herself closer. there's a brief pause from her -- giving herself a minute for her brain to formulate words.)

It takes... time to learn who you are. You're not gonna figure it all out over night. Or days or even a year. But that's what all of this — (a drunk wave gesture to the entire beach.) — is about. Learnin', discoverin' who we are and what we like. Weaks and strengths... mashin' with whoever or not mashin'.

(...pretty sure this is about the captain wanting to be powerful but!!)

But just know...whoever you decide to be, we will care and love you. 'Cuz we see you as you already. Appearance or no appearance. You'll alwaaayys be the person who sees the good in everyone and tries to help.

[wimdy]

[ admittedly she’s right, she shouldn't unload her insecurities on jinx like this while she is drunk, while she’s sleepy and they should be heading back to the ship. but it’s something that’s been lingering to her mind ever since seeing qingxuan’s other form, it’s something she may or may not have been thinking of even before then, the possibility and fear and latent desire to change. she wants… if possible, if this could be a sort of freedom…

she falls quieter, then just reaches to pull jinx into a hug again. careful not to spill her water, but just wanting to be close, accepting this comfort as she lets out a breath. ]

… Thanks. I think you’re right. I could keep… trying, keep trying to figure out what… who I am or want to be. O-or something like that. [ she’s normally so certain with her words, but that certainty fails now with the question of identity. she just wants to be close like this for now, then. ]

[opheliac]

(naturally there will be a hug coming in but drunk!jinx is a little taken back by the hug. but after the small stun wears off, she nudges the bottle a side then curls her arms around her friend. she rubs her back gingerly; nails giving her soothing scratches.)

Mmhm. Just y'know... remember not to push too hard, either. Take your time, let it flow, let it all just come to ya. Mizuki and your friends are supportin' you and got your back. So... you're not doin' this alone. Be sure to lean on 'em if you ever need to and talk through your feelings with each step with 'em if you gotta. They'll listen.

[wimdy]

Well, you’re right, but… [ maybe she’d really rather hide this insecurity if she could. maybe that’s still quite a lot of vulnerability. maybe even being so new to this still feels… like she’d rather disappear or change back to normal, go back to the familiarity of the past that she’d attach to for so long. not wanting to betray the memory.

but for now she supposes she could just hug jinx for a while.

… also in an embrace like this it’s a little more obvious her body has changed, the feeling of it. maybe that’s a little awkward?? a moment, then she pulls back from the hug, a little shyly. ] Ah, I don’t know what to say. It feels a little selfish if I talk about myself that much, probably.

[opheliac]

(it might be strange girl!venti but not with jinx. hugging is hugging no matter the gender. with them a little apart now, she blows rasphberries with her lips and then waves dismissively and drunkly.)

Pffft! C'mon!! I would rather hear about everyone else than deal with myself.

(oh... that... sounded a little sad and depressing. but jinx says it in all smiles so not at all bothered.)

[wimdy]

[ yeeeah she’s kind of catching onto that. how about maybe turning the topic to something a little more light hearted, if possible?! ] Then, hmm~

Have you ever been curious about being a guy, I wonder? Would you try it, if you could?

[opheliac]

Nnnope! Never crossed my mind even once. I'm really into my girly parts and wouldn't change it.

(she then extends her water bottle over to vent if she wishes to have a sip. and before she can even protest, she blatantly says:)

We've already swapped saliva so it's okay for you to drink from me.

[wimdy]

Drink from… [ putting it that way sounds so risqué?! though, she gets her meaning and everything but, ] It’s all right, it takes more wine than that to fell me! Ah, but it’s fun to play a lighthearted game like that with everyone, isn’t it?

Shall I help you back to the ship, do you think you could walk? [ she’s a little more slender like this and she’s not particularly strong or athletic even when she’s normally a guy, but she’d help jinx back no worries. ]

[opheliac]

Me needin' help? Pffbbbt! — I totally got it. Watch and learn, Cecilia!

(and with that, jinx raises up to her feet... then immediately stumbles back but regains her footing.)

Ah-ha! See? Totally can stand on my own two fantastic legs.

(the real question is if she can move. jinx shakes her head lightly while blinking; trying to focus what's ahead of her.)

Mmkay, boat's this way. So... after you.

[wimdy]

You’re not inspiring a whole lot of confidence, you know! Why don’t I just… [ try to take her around her shoulders a little and support her weight more, as he makes their way towards the tender.

hmm, if he were more explorative with the stupid shape-shifting business he could totally transform into a strong athletic type to totally princess-carry jinx back, but unfortunately he has ~issues~ and therefore that’s not going to be a thing. probably. well, for now he could help them both back to the little boat as they might return to the ship. ]

[opheliac]

I can do this, I promise!!

(despite her protest, she leans into venti and even allows her head to rest on his shoulder. jinx is trying to concentrate with walking and so far she is managing. there's a stumble here and there but she is able to put one foot in front of the other.)

We've... — We've been through a lot together, huh? I hope... you and I stay this way for a very long time. Goin' through life, explorin' new things, meetin' people together... I like that.

[wimdy]

[ …

she settles her in a seat when they reach the tender; after a while, the little boat sets off across the water with a gentle sway, as the evening/night wind curls around the both of them. warm with the divine wind magic, the way it strokes her face and hair.

she comfortably leans jinx, their shoulders together. then quietly loops her arms around jinx a little more, breathing out a sigh. ]

I hope so too.

I might not know… a lot, about who I am or really want to be. Maybe the future is uncertain, even for me. … But whatever it holds, I hope we’ll be there together for it.

[opheliac]

(the gentle rocks of the boat can easily put her to asleep -- the very light slosh of the sea tapping against their sail as they venture smoothly onward to serena eterna. a lazy smile is on her face while she rests on venti; gazing up at the night sky -- brain still a fog.)

Best friends. You and me... no matter what. This place and people can — can fuck us up but they can't ruin what we got. They're probably just jealous 'cuz they don't have a bond like we have.

[wimdy]

[ there’s a grin, then actually a light laugh— ] Jinx, I don’t know about jealous!… Well, even if that’s true, I’d rather not anyone have to be jealous of anyone you know? [ maybe how naive or optimistic or whimsy it is, she wants everyone to get along still, whether that’s even possible or not.

but, ] You were my first friend here and my closest still. That won’t ever change. [ unless, possibly, they were to disappear somehow from this ship?

but she hopes not to think of that, she simply laces her fingers together with jinx as the boat putters its way back to the cruise under the night sky. ]

[opheliac]

Mmm... never, ever.

(she mutters this as she steadily drifts off to a light slumber; fingers lace with hers but loosen by each second. venti will have to wake her back up once they reach the cruise ship. but for now, she'll just take in this wonderful peace moment with her friend. because she knows more hell will await for them with the captain pulling the strings.)