pineapplesalmon: (goatee general smile)
César Salazar ([personal profile] pineapplesalmon) wrote in [community profile] come_sailaway2022-09-05 12:40 am

5th Contraption || Just Another Day on Horror Cruise

Who: César Salazar and YOU
When: Early September
Where: Around the ship (Calgona to Cabins, Atrium Lounge, Laundry to Cabins, Closed: 102)
What: César is Jinx's new canvas after falling asleep post workout, César says hello to CR in the atrium, César says hello while carrying laundry in a horrid basket, and a backdated morning after zombies for the Triad and Boy
Warnings: None but will add them to threads as needed

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Tagged, You're It [OTA, Walking between Calgona and the cabins]

César sometimes falls deeply asleep for a nap on one of the Calgona's massage tables post after-workout shower. Look, he can sleep on his face and stomach, can you blame him?

Nor can we blame Jinx for what she does when she finds him. A fresh white t-shirt and light gray lounge pants make an excellent blank canvas and a good way to deliver a hint that she's missed talking to him. By the time she's done, César's clothes are far more... colorful.

On the seat of his pants are two smileys that compliment the stars on either of his cheeks. Down the legs and arms of the shirt are more stars, zig-zags, and swirls. On the back of his shirt is a brightly colored:
JINX
WAS
HERE

... someone should let him know as he walks back towards the cabins. Please?

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Say Hello [Established CR, Atrium Lounge]

The atrium lounge is a good place to run into others and stop himself from hermiting like he has in the last handful of months. When he spots someone he knows, César stops what he's doing on his tablet and stands, waving.

"Long time no sea!" The worst part about the pun isn't that it's not noticeable but that his player typed it by accident and died inside.

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What's in the Bag? [OTA (see options), Between Laundry and Cabins]

It's César's turn for Laundry Day. Which means he's carrying back neatly folded laundry in a fabric basket made from various Tommy Bahama Shirts with handles from a tote bag. This means that César's made an absolute monstrosity of a laundry basket. Yes, it was done on purpose. Yes, César thinks he's funny.

When he sees someone, he stops walking and smiles warmly.

A. If he knows that someone, he'll great them in a time of day appropriate greeting ("Morning!" "Afternoon!" "Evening!" "Hello!") and ask, whilst meaning it: "How are you today?"

B. If he doesn't know that someone, he'll still greet them appropriately ("Morning!" "Afternoon!" "Evening!" "Hello!") but change it up, instead asking: "Oh, are you new? I'm César Salazar. Are you settling in okay?"

((OOC: The image was done in Paint so liberties were taken as it was made from various Tommy Bahama Shirts.))
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The Morning After Zombie Apocalypse [CLOSED, Backdated, Rich, Johnny, Watson]

The triad dads could've lost Rich. They didn't, but it could've easily gone another way. So all four of them are crammed together into one bedroom, the bed (with Watson and Johnny) and the couch bed (with César and Rich) shoved alongside each other.

César startles awake when Rich kicks him in his sleep sometime in the late morning hours. "Mmmfph?"

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Message Received [Closed to Jinx]

César seeks Jinx out once he's gotten a new t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He knows where she lives, so he'll walk right into the theatre and call out:

"I got your message!"
firewalled: (I who've chosen to be spoiled to the end)

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-09-26 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Right... intrusive thoughts. Except I act on them half the time. How the fuck am I supposed to fight them? They're... coming at me like this every day.

[How does César even handle them? How does he stop himself from checking and testing every boundary like some ever-expanding experiment? How has he not just... started ignoring Rich to see if he'll still love him? Started yelling at him, maybe even...

He feels his tears finally breach the dam he'd been trying to keep them below, and he hiccups. His voice squeaks, and he cringes angrily.]


You... you already know Rich Goranski should have died when he was stupid enough to play with fire. Why does it matter, I-I mean... you know I'm not real. I'm just some fucked up clone for the Captain to fuck with, right?

[He grits his teeth, but he can't keep the words from stumbling out.] I'm not real. You're not fucking real either. Every single person in this stupid fucking ship doesn't need to even bother fighting if we're never going back.
firewalled: (I who've chosen to be spoiled to the end)

cw graphic description of abuse

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-09-27 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[There's so much Rich isn't ready for. Honestly everything is overwhelming him at this point, his breathing too loud, the blanket he's sitting on too textured, the room too many colours... It's hard enough even to hear that César is talking, much less what he's actually saying to him. Something about Decartes? That was the guy who said that thing about thinking, right? And multiverses, and molecules... a bunch of stuff Rich can't really understand, but maybe he should trust that his dad knows what he's talking about...

He almost gives in. Almost starts accepting it, but suddenly, in the corner of his eye, he sees César's hand move up towards his face. Like a dozen other hands that have reached for him a dozen different times, but this one isn't gripping a beer bottle or a smouldering cigarette butt but it could still hurt, god, he could almost admire his old man's creativity some nights-

He flinches, a whimper caught in his throat as he leans backwards, eyes wide and mindlessly searching for danger.

He wants to love César back. He wants to prove he's more than capable of all the things never shown to him before. He wants it so badly, to say it, to share an embrace and wrap everything up in a pretty little bow.

Instead, he starts crying, reaching up to hide his face from view as he finally falls the rest of the way backwards, a defeated lump on the bed.]
firewalled: (It honestly feels like a wonderful thing)

too many cws to even write out all the cws at this point.

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-09-28 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
[Rich feels pathetic. He feels disgusting and ugly, inside and outside, as he sobs all over himself, curling up in a fetal position, so small, so guarded, but still an easy target, still just enough skin bare there to cut and scratch and clench onto so hard the bones underneath it creak. He coughs as his body forces out exhales in between his sobs, as he chokes on the phlegm sucked up with his gasping breaths. He digs his hands in his hair and tugs, hard enough that he worries he might tear some out, but that doesn't seem to make the sobbing stop.

His father has his trauma by the neck, shaking his brain around in its cage. There's no escaping his wrath now, no pretending it's just his way of dealing with stress, no denying the harm being done as it screams in his face that he'll get something to cry about if he doesn't shut up.

He remembers the excuses he used to make. The black eye from 'running into a wall in gym'. The cuts from 'dropping a knife in Home Ec'. He never made an excuse for his broken wrist. He just asked Jake if he could make a splint at home and, when that failed, to drive him to the ER and to swear to never tell a soul.

In the face of a father who doesn't need those excuses, though? Rich is lost. Even as he starts to get back to the present day, starts to take in where he is properly, he can't seem to think of what else he needs to say.]


'm sorry... 'm so so sorry...
firewalled: (That sense of guilt)

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-09-28 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[He's been digging himself this hole for so long that it's hard for him to imagine getting out of it now. He wants to keep sobbing, wants to lay here until he just can't move anymore. He wants some sort of relief from all this pain, and he knows the only relief will be found through slow, deliberate healing.

And he's just not patient enough for that right now. If only César would do something to him to make him quit this... but he doesn't. He stays sitting and watching. He doesn't let Rich apologize, he doesn't move to grab him, he doesn't even walk away. Rich wipes his eyes, which doesn't really help him see much, but the steady action, the touch only his own and no one else's, help ground him just a bit more.

He even chuckles softly, in between his sobs.]


I was always such a pussy about crying. Never knew how to turn it off. SQUIP did for me... for a while. And now when I cry it feels like it's just e-extra long. Guess it built up or something.
firewalled: (pic#)

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-10-03 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's so strange how careful César is with him. He was sure by this point any goodwill he had would be lost. He was sure César would lose his patience or his temper. Anyone would. Everyone had before. Christine never-hurt-a-fly-unless-it-was-a-stage-fight Canigula hadn't even had the energy to deal with him that Halloween night. So how was his roommate managing this?

He wipes his eyes, staring up at César while his fingers carefully tiptoe over to the tissue box.]


You... think that's what it is? It's just... the way my head works? It's just hard to remember how much I cried before everything.

[It's so easy to second-guess himself.]

I guess... at least I didn't cry on you. [He sniffles into a tissue, finally sitting up.]

'm sorry. I'm such a mess.
firewalled: (pic#)

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-10-06 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
[Rich feels himself tearing up a bit again, but he tries to keep himself under control a little bit longer, just to talk to his father properly.]

I-I wish you didn't think it was bound to happen... even if it made it a little easier for you. I wanted to be better already.
firewalled: (pic#)

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-10-06 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
...To be fair, I guess I've been here on this ship for a couple months. There was probably a while where I was in shock, and now, it's just...

[He bites his lip, but in the end, César had already said it.]

It's just that I feel safe enough to actually process this shit now. With you and Dad and Pa.

[He still ends up finding his face heating up, and he rubs at his eyes for a few moments, trying desperately to compose himself.]
firewalled: (Making peace with the enevmy)

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-10-07 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[Rich appreciates that César isn't looming over him, and there might be the softest of smiles on his face when César looks at him. He continues to tug at the pillow in his lap as he processes things.]

When you put it like that, it sounds extra stupid... but yeah. I'm so used to not being safe, so... there were a lot of walls I put up, you know? Guess they finally came down.
firewalled: (You can fool someone completely)

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-10-10 04:36 am (UTC)(link)
Y'know... most people would have called me oblivious. I think... I notice a lot of things, but I can't process them at the same time. A lot of times I end up forgetting things that seemed important... that people say are important.

[He searches César's face carefully for another confirmation. Another clarification as to why his brain acts this way.

...At least until César calls him out like that, leaving him nearly laughing in his shock.]


I, um. Sometimes, when I'm really pissed off, or really sad, and it feels like the world is ending... I just get bored of it, I guess. It's like, 'okay, Goranski, we get it, you're a drama king, you can knock it off...' and then I just do."
firewalled: (Unable to keep up this deception)

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-10-12 04:09 pm (UTC)(link)
We're... definitely not most people.

[It's hard for Rich to know whether or not that upsets him anymore. At this point, César has made being weird... so much less awful than it used to be. He kind of wishes he had met him years ago... though he supposes that wouldn't have fixed anything now.

...Still, it's nice to be understood. He glances down at César's hand, then back up at his adoptive father... before bringing his eyes back down. Carefully, he reaches over, traces an index finger around César's knuckles, one by one.]
firewalled: (Slowly lapsing in depravity)

;A;

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-10-13 05:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe... it is okay.

[Maybe it's okay to have so many mixed up thoughts in his head. Maybe it's okay that he's learning to accept himself, even while so many others are accepting the version of him they see clearly.

Maybe it's okay to have a family now... one that he loves dearly, even if he's still working on showing it.

He very carefully picks César's hand up, looking over the scars with quiet interest.]


You have a ton of those...

[He places his palm against César's, measuring how large the man's hand is compared to his, frowning softly.]
firewalled: (Burning myself out)

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-10-15 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
...Really?

[Rich looks up in surprise, licking his lips as he tries to find the nerves and the vocabulary to ask the right question.]

You kept them for measuring?

[He meant to ask why would you only tell me? but... there's still plenty of anxiety present.

Trying to diffuse it, he takes his hand away, folding César's thumb across his palm and then placing the index, ring, and pinky finger over it.

Of course, the middle finger stays proudly raised.]
firewalled: (Things don't look any better today)

[personal profile] firewalled 2022-10-17 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[Rich blinks in surprise, but after a moment of hesitation, he beams.]

I mean, I'm a nasty hormonal teenager. Of course you should have known.

[He then, naturally, raises César's hand up to insert that finger in his nostril. He does pause in his torture then, though, and shakes his head.]

I don't think it's nerdy at all. It's... nice that you got to keep the scars you want.

...When I got here, there was a lady who said she could get rid of my burn scars, if I wanted. I didn't actually know what to think about that. Got in my head for quite a bit about it.

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