come_sailaway | I Was Looking for a Breath of Life

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I Was Looking for a Breath of Life

Who: Valdis and Open!
What: New Arrival tries to cope with being dropped into a new place after a massive bloodbath
When: November
Where: All over
Warnings: Headaches, grumpiness, will warn if it gets worse than that.

1) Arrival: Her head screamed at her, sharp pain cutting into her vision with every breath. Eyes closed tightly, Valdis does her best to breathe. The heavy death in the air, filled with lingering desperation and trauma tightened her chest. Of all the times to fall into a new world, it would be just after a massacre. With her head in her hands, her black hair hiding her face, she leaned against the railing of the walkway, trying to drown out the pain. This was definitely where it all happened. The pain was worse here.
"Haven't felt this bad since the last war," she muttered. "How many people died?"

2) Revelations: Valdis worked her way through the ship, avoiding her cabin as much as possible, seeking to memorize the layout of the ship and maximize her ability to move quickly should it be necessary. The Void is silent, a fact she should be grateful for, and in some ways, very much is. But now the silence is simply silence, and the feeling that the dead are around every corner sits in her gut. She can’t see them, except maybe flitting out of the corner of her eyes from time to time, but she can sense that they aren’t alone. Footsteps sounded from behind her, she’d been so focused on the dead that she hadn’t paid attention to the living. She turns around, hand on the hilt of the rather impressive sword hanging on her hip.

"Hello?"

3)Buffet: Without the ability to draw on the dead, Valdis must find something to soothe the very human feeling of hunger. She’d known the feeling from home, before her memories had begun to return, but now she found it highly annoying.

“What’s the best thing here?”

Second Week of November and Onwards

4) Library: Valdis has finally taken Erin's advice and found the black binder in the library. She is not thrilled with what she's reading and the tension is visible in her usually elegant jawline and the glowing red in her eyes. Fear isn't found anywhere in her demeanor or soul, but rather a thoughtful, yet tense, aura radiates from where she sits. She's so focused that almost anyone not touched by death could approach without her noticing. If they are touched by death, she may react poorly, so tread carefully.

5) Hurikane: She can't get drunk, but she sure is trying her best with pure vodka and whatever else she can find that's strong. She's not even really trying to taste it, just downing it as fast as the invisible bartender can deliver, and exhausting her healing abilities as she goes. It's still not enough to even give her a buzz though. Disappointing.

6)Wildcard round: Your turn!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Her words are no slip. Even in her depression and desire to not feel, Valdis' mind is clear and she's still a shrewd individual.]

It's certainly natural for my species. I am...pleased that humans have come so far from the bickering, warring, uncaring creatures from my time. Not to say our homes are or were once the same place.

[The next question catches her off guard, that's hard to do Ari! She actually looks away and raises her hand for another shot of vodka. It's too late to deflect now.]

Perhaps not to this ship, but among my kind? Yes. But there were only seven of us, so I suppose that's not incredibly hard.

[Five now. Locking the Hounds in Purgatory had killed two of them. She could still remember the feeling of their deaths, and how much power she had gained from them.]

What about you? Any special talents?

[Time to change the subject if she can.]

[Now there's a strange assumption - that because Ari's people have reached the stars, there must be no more bickering? She doesn't want to think about how many intercolonial wars there would be if not for the Tradelines settling disputes before they got out of hand. It also speaks to a very cynical view of humanity, one that Ari's not quite comfortable with from someone completely alien. There was far more to them than only that. Still, Ari can play the diplomat if she has to.]

I'm sure we're from very different sectors. [It's a safe assumption. Even on Tirva that they had left behind, there were only humans.]

[Seven needs some interpretation. Seven members of her family? Seven queens? Ari doesn't suspect 'seven of her kind' because a band that small wouldn't need a queen, and if Valdis were one of the very last of a dying people, she'd surely have mentioned that. She's about to ask, when Valdis abruptly changes the subject. Another time, then. She'll remember.]

Special talents? Flying a starship's about as special as I get. The usual military training - repairs and weapons and contract negotiation, all of that. I've never really had time for much else.

[Valdis has low standards when it comes to humanity. She's seen the worst and best of them, and she's cynical.]

More likely different universes, or very different time periods.

[What Valdis gets out of Ari's explanation is that the girl is smart, hardworking, skilled and a workaholic. Different times.]

Contract negotiation? In what manner?

[Ex-assassin and ex-lawyer has some ideas about them. There's also supernatural contracts people make with Demons, but she doubts that's the kind Ari is talking about.]

You're not the first to say that. Different universes. It's not impossible, but I don't think it's more likely than a simple separation by space. If our homeworlds were in different galaxies, we'd know just as little of one another.

[Ari shrugs.] I'd try to learn more about the possibilities, if I could, but the library here is useless. [Nothing but storybooks, when what she needed were advanced texts on theoretical physics. Another frustration.]

[It's interesting to her that of everything she's listed, it's the contracts Valdis is interested in, but she thinks she can guess why.] For trade, mostly. The Tradelines is a military organisation [or it calls itself one - its detractors might say paramilitary at best] but that's not all we do. The name gives it away. Defending the colonies and keeping peace is our first duty, but we facilitate trade, too. Keep the trade routes open, clear and safe, and do some business of our own. So there are trade deals, contracts with independent colonies or colony-owning companies, the occasional diplomatic arrangement, and internal matters - employment contracts and such. Only a captain can sign off on most of it, but I'm authorised to initiate proceedings, and to negotiate.

Sounds delicate. Similar discussions take place back on my world, but between governments and politicians, not militaries. Though militaries do occasionally become involved if talks break down. Luckily that's only happened twice on a world-wide level.

[Valdis isn't certain either way is better. Civilians tend to get quite petty, but the military is limited by affinity for escalation. At least in her very long experience. She smiles recalling the idea of Galaxies.]

Admittedly my world is rather self-centered. The humans once thought themselves the center of the universe. Science has since shown otherwise, but there are still some who think themselves superior.

[Not to mention the strange conspiracies humans come up with]

It's natural to put your own people at the center of the map if you're the one drawing it. Your homeworld wasn't spacefaring? My people have had starships for centuries, and we still haven't encountered any inhabited planets. I hadn't met anyone who wasn't human before I arrived here.

[Ari has adapted to that part remarkably quickly. Her people had always known that by probability, they couldn't be the only sentient beings in the universe. There had to be others, just far away.]

I guess some things are the same. If we're stepping in for peacekeeping, it's because talks between colonies have broken down and someone resorted to violence. I wish it didn't happen, but there are always going to be people willing to violate the rights of others, and sometimes the only thing they'll listen to is the threat of having every ship of the lines turn up on their doorstep if they don't back off.

[Normal perhaps, but humans really should consider that they aren't the most important creatures in the universe. Even if the Creator favored them above all others.]

Who watches the watchers?

[Corruption always showed up sooner or later. Absolute power and all that. There's always someone above someone else. Always someone willing to toe the line. Always someone willing to kill to get ahead. She doubts Ari's "Tradelines" is immune.]

[It's a very good question, and one that throws Ari off-balance somewhat, because she knows she doesn't have a good answer. It's supposed to regulate itself. Nobody should advance to become a Tradeline captain who doesn't have the right temperament for it, and if they change after attaining that position, they should fail because nobody would agree to be part of their crew. It works, to some degree, but every Tradeliner's heard stories about the odd bad captain, or groups of spacers who arrive downstation and throw their weight around too much, harass the locals, ruin whatever good reputation the organisation might have had.

Ari's view on this is that she can't do anything about it. If she has her own ship someday, she can run it how she likes, but no Tradeliner from another ship is going to listen to her now. None of that, however, is an answer to give an outsider.]

We have a code to abide by. We're never the ones to initiate aggression, and we're bound to respond when one of our insured colonies needs our help. Breaking code has serious consequences. [It does. heavy fines, expulsion from the Tradelines, even death if the crime was bad enough. Bending code beyond all recognition, however, some people occasionally seemed to get away with.] The Tradelines are decentralised, so you're never going to get one person building up too much power.

[It seems her question has thrown Ari off ever so slightly. She takes another shot of vodka, covering the fact she's noticed it takes the girl time to answer.

The answer isn't surprising, but it's rather naïve and only a matter of time before it gets toppled.]

So you're mercenaries.

[Colonies pay certain captains to protect them and negotiate on their behalf, which could potentially pit them against other captains on behalf of other colonies. She's sure Ari may take offense at her summation, but it's the only word from her own time that first the situation.]

[It's offensive, but only mildly. Nothing she hasn't heard before. Mercenary space traders was the usual accusation.]

No. We're military.

[It all came down to definitions, really. ]

If we were mercenaries, we'd be picking our battles. Instead, whenever a Tradeline-insured colony's in trouble, all the nearest starships come to its aid, even if it'd be more convenient to fly on and ignore it. That's our first duty. Before profit.

[Valdis still isn't seeing the difference.]

Freelance military. You defend the colonies who pay you to do so. What about the colonies who don't pay you? Do you defend them too? If not, isn't that 'picking your battles'?

[The possible alternative is Mafia, but Ari is a little too noble for that.]

[Ari's trying to understand, but it's not making sense to her.]

We don't have contract with colonies that don't pay us. Some of them are isolationist and don't want us in their local systems at all, so we respect that. We're not going to barge in where we're not wanted.

Expecting us to defend uninsured companies would be like expecting the planetary militia on Siduri to defend Lorentzen Delta. Different colonies. Why would they?

[Yes, in the hands of a group without the very strict ethical codes of the Tradelines, it's a setup that could eventually devolve into a protection racket. Unlikely while all their commanders undergo the same training as young idealist Ari here, though.]

In my world, different nations ally with each other and support each other though conflicts that may arise. They also offer aid to countries not in their alliance.

[Valdis can talk Ari in circles all day, she's even beginning to see which buttons she can push, but in this instance, she's genuinely interested.]

An unallied militia paid to protect certain groups but not others, are considered mercenary bands. Mercenaries may have a code, they may have a leader and call themselves certain names, but they are still unallied with any government authority or protection.

[The fact that the different Vessels aren't even allied with each other lends credence to the definition. However, she will allow one thing, which is perhaps the most important point of it all.]

Perhaps the only difference between your Tradelines and mercenaries are the fact that you also try to keep the peace. Mercenaries thrive in war.

[That can't be the only difference. Valdis has hit upon a difficult subject here. Ari's intelligent, analytical by nature, and that's an asset on the Tradelines so long as you don't turn it towards finding fault with the law and custom of the organisation itself. She was told in training that she just didn't have the seniority to criticise certain things, that it was arrogant to think she knew better than people who had been doing this far longer than her - and Ari wanted to achieve her ambitions so badly, she went along with it all.

She's not bad at immediate analysis to defend the Tradelines, though.]

Nations. Your homeworld must have had a lot of internal conflict for all these alliances and offers of aid to occur. Civil war on the colony worlds of my sector is rare.

And then governments. The Tradelines aren't allied with any particular government, no. That's what a planetary militia is for. Internal matters. Imagine the alternative! Siduri has a dispute with Lorentzen Delta, and before you know it there's a little Siduri fleet at war with a little Lorentzen fleet, and not only would you have a much greater casualty rate on those two worlds, anyone further out towards the frontier than them would have their supply lines cut, because no independent civvy trader is going to ship goods through a warzone to get to them. That could mean starvation, or even atmospheric failure, out on a frontier world. Catastrophic loss of life.

Under our system, those worlds are both insured, so they get Tradeline mediation. A panel of senior captains investigating the dispute and deciding where fault lies - according to code and citizens' essential rights, not their own whims - while their ships make sure there are no further hostilities and that the lines of trade and travel stay open, for both other Tradeline ships and the independents.

[Ari's calm and measured about all this, doing her best to convince Valdis.] Mercenaries are much less organised than we are, without our structure and our code. Security companies are mercenary; there are plenty of those around, and they operate where it's profitable for them. [If the sticking point is government backing, though, the Tradelines won't ever qualify. Governments out in Ari's sector range from direct democracy to shareholder vote to appointed council, but one characteristic they share is that they're all very small.]

It's not a civil war. Think of each nation like it's own planet. The world they are on its own solar system.

[She does listen to Ari's entire explanation. The girl is passionate, no doubt, but there's something heartbreaking about it. From what Ari describes, her timeline is somewhere between Star Wars and Star Trek. And even Starfleet battled corruption. The Jedi had a pretty strong code too, but they became too proud, too blind to the flaws. Yet, those are both fiction. This is Ari's reality.]

I can see you believe strongly in your code and I sincerely hope you are correct about the Tradelines. But I've seen many empires rise and fall and many systems die upon their own morals. At some point, you will be faced with a choice you may not like.

[She doesn't dismiss what Valdis is saying. It might not be poetic language, not from someone immortal.]

Nothing lasts forever, but that's no reason not to try to preserve what we value. I'm not responsible for the important decisions right now, but when I make captain, I might be - and sometimes there's no perfect decision, just a heap of competing priorities that you have to use your best judgement with. Difficult choices. If it comes to it, making those choices will be my duty. [As will living with the consequences. Ari's come a long way from the girl who sobbed the first time she got her virtual crew killed in a command simulation, and was told without sympathy to go right back, try again, and do better. She thinks she understands what Valdis means, at any rate.

A moment later, she asks:]

How many nations are there on your homeworld?

How very human of you.

[She sounds tired again, and raises her hand for yet another shot of vodka as if it is actually going to work this time.]

There are currently one hundred and ninety-five countries. That's subject to change though.

That figures. I'm human. [Ari's getting the impression that it's not the humans on Valdis' homeworld who think themselves superior, and she doesn't like it much.] Why, what would a non-human say about those difficult choices?

[One hundred ninety-five isn't a solar system. That's more subdivisions of one planet than there are inhabited planets in Ari's entire sector, and 'subject to change' only makes it worse. She signals for another drink of her own. One more won't hurt.]

[Valdis laughs, it's not a pleasant sound, deeper, vaguely hyena-like.]

I'm not a huge fan of the human race. I've been watching them tear themselves and others apart for thousands of years. Just when they have perhaps figured it out...someone comes along and makes the blood flow again.

[Another shot downed]

You haven't known me long enough to figure it out on your own, Ari. But I've been a monster far longer than I've had a soul and those without souls do not dream. There is no love. No feeling of loss. No hope.

Humans were given everything.

[So yes, she doesn't like humans, but it's more her being cynical than her actually thinking herself superior. She's not quite sure what she is anymore.]

The most difficult choice I had to make in recent memory was deciding to keep my soul when I could have handed it over again. Right now, I deeply regret that decision.

[This place is gonna run out of Vodka]

[Is Valdis finally getting drunk? Much of this makes as much sense to Ari as the ramblings of a drunk person - although this has much more to do with Ari's view on souls than on Valdis herself. She decides to focus on what she can.]

I don't know about any of that. I don't have a soul, so I can't say anything about them, really. You don't seem like a monster to me. Will you do something for me, though? I'll accept what you say about the humans on your homeworld, but my people are galaxies away, at the very least. Don't judge us by them? If you get to know me and find I have all the same bloodthirsty faults as them, then you'll have a right to, but at least give us a chance?

[She's used to being aware that people here will judge the Tradelines by her example, as she's their only representative. Representing the entire population of her sector? Just a little extra pressure to behave herself. No problem, right?]

[Something shifts behind her eyes. Amusement perhaps. Or maybe some sort of delight at the deal Ari has offered.]

I accept your deal.

[If only to see how it plays out. She is curious about these future humans. If the Serena Eterna can't break Ari, well then, maybe there us hope for the future.]

And every living thing has a soul. It's none of that religious stuff. It's a life force and energy that happens to be connected to consciousness.

[Deal? Ari looks at her in bemusement, because there was no contract there. She just doesn't want to be negatively judged because of things done by humans who were very far removed from her and her people.

Maybe it's a figure of speech. Most people don't think like Tradeliners. She lets it go, focuses on the rest.]

If every living thing has a soul, and by soul you mean life force, then you couldn't have been without one. You'd have died, or at least not had the consciousness to observe your own qualities without a soul. [Seems logical enough to her. All the same, she doesn't want to be unkind.]

Look, I respect your right to have any sort of spiritual beliefs that are important to you. I have no problem with that. I just don't share them. [And she's not interested in evangelism, of any flavor.]

[Definitely a figure of speech. She's agreed to not judge Ari based on the humans of her world. A true deal is messier.]

You are correct. I did not have the morals that drive you. I was not aware of emotions, pain or loss. I had a soul, it was just taken from me at some point, but wasn't destroyed.

[She shrugs.]

Spirituality has nothing to do with it.

[Valdis is suddenly very sober sounding, not that she had actually been drunk. She lifts a hand, hesitates, and tips her head to the side.]

You don't have to believe in souls. You don't even have to believe I'm a monster. But...may I show you something?

[This just sounds like more figurative talk to Ari. Valdis had acted amorally - perhaps immorally - and denied her emotions. Something traumatic had likely occurred to provoke it. It's an odd thing to confess to a new acquaintance, but Ari won't pass judgement without detail. The soul talk still sounds like a flowery excuse for negative behavior to Ari, but she can accept that Valdis believes in it sincerely.

She nods.]

Please, show me whatever you'd like to. Where is it?

[Valdis doesn't answer, but she does grab a glass from the bar top and break it, scoring the broken glass across her palm, cutting deeply so the scarlet blood flows down her hand and onto the bar. She sets down the glass and holds out her uninjured hand to Ari.]

Give me your hand.

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