come_sailaway | I should have wrote a letter

Entry tags:

I should have wrote a letter

Who: Maeve & OTA
Where: Promenade, Playback, and John's
What: November catchall, fallout from October stuff
When: November 6th onwards

1. Promendade

Once she leaves the room finally, she stops at Sundries to pick up a package. When she opens it, she stares for a long moment at the trifold tablet with the hook up. She sits in the middle of the promenade and pulls out a small knife to cut her right forearm, sighing as her fingers found the port and then connected herself to the tablet before pulling up the diagnostic screen and running a scan.

Everything seems functional so far. No signs of any injury or malfunctions.

“Well, I guess that’s…good,” she says to the air before pulling another screen up with the attribute matrix. She doesn’t immediately move to change things, but her fingers hesitate over the screen as she considers it. She could feel less of this, could just avoid it. But she has shit to do and...really, she shouldn't.

2. Playback

It’s the noise of the place that draws her in. She can hear the machines both in and out of her head and it’s the sound of it that’s steadying her in that moment. She doesn’t have any idea still how to make the games work or play anything. Which is why she just…stands there, eyes closed as she listens to everything. The sound of other people helps as well and she feels a little less overwhelmed after a moment. She wonders if it’s cheating to use her abilities to control the machines as she makes the claw move on its own. Not that she cares for prizes, but she does want to at least try for something. Only as the minutes pass, she shakes her head.

“Do you know how to play any of these games,” she asks whoever is closest to her. “I want to learn something new.”

3. John’s

She hasn’t seen Phil in a while. She’s been avoiding John’s because he’d said that he needed time. But when she peeks in, she doesn’t see him. Just hears the sound of Billy Joel filtering through the air. So she walks in and finds a booth to sit in where she can just listen to the music for a while.

She doesn’t actually know the song but the mood is at least less depressing than her mood at the moment. If anyone happens to find her sitting there, she’ll go from sitting with a chin resting on her hand to sitting up straight. “Oh. Hello, darling. I didn’t notice you there.” A beat. “Do you know this song?”

4. Wildcard

Hit me with whatever you like~ If you wanna run anything by me, my plurk is kingdonkey and otherwise, discord is kingdonkey#6187

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Maeve’s got the face of someone who is still processing. A load error. She doesn’t know what to do with this information. This will only make the future conversation with Ruby hurt more.

“Oh.” It’s not a very verbose reaction. “I didn’t…realize.”

"I suspect she's got complicated feelings about it herself, which is why I didn't want to say anything but, well, here we are. Congratulations on being adopted." Erin offers a wan smile. "October was...a lot. I hope this is good news at least?"

Maeve can understand that. She has quite a lot of complicated feelings herself. About everything. “Um.” She’s been incredibly eloquent recently. “Thank you?”

She lets out another long breath. “It’s certainly been…a lot. I’m anxious thinking about everything I might have done.”

"...I know it's not as simple as hearing you didn't do anything, but that's still true. All over the ship folks are looking at their returned friends with concern, you know? It might...take time. But hey, as far as I'm concerned you're the person kind enough to help me with super glue so far."

Erin lets out a little thoughtful hrmm sound. "...If you need some time around someone without that baggage, though, my door's open. My mornings are spoken for until ten o' clock and my Thursdays start bright and early at like fucking two, but other than that I ain't ever up to anything that can't be shuffled."

"It might not have been me, but...in a way...it's hard to logic that it's not." She can't reasonably be upset if anyone can't look at her because of something she's done. Maeve looks over, smiling a little. "I would say it's all programming, darling, but it's a little hollow." Still, she pauses once she does find the glue and places it carefully in Erin's hand.

She's getting more used to the kindness of strangers on this boat than she ever did back home, but it still squirms its way under her skin and settles in there warmer than she expected. "Thank you for the offer. Not many would take the time." Sharky would, but they are moms. And now...somehow she is a mother all over again. "I'm adjusting a little to things and people. But if you don't mind some quiet sitting, I could stand to drink some tea and just exist on occasion."

"Any time," Erin agrees. "...Though my apologies in advance for uh, the crimes I can, and will, commit on my own cups of tea. I have an amount of sugar that should not be medically possible to consume and yet, here we are."

Erin fidgets with the glue for a moment. Maeve definitely left an opening in the conversation there. Or was it an accidental admission?

(Fuck it.)

"...When you say programming?"

Maeve smiles. "I think I can accept tea atrocities." But yes. The question. She wonders just how much Ruby has explained about...what she is.

"I am not...human. I understand you likely cannot tell the difference. We were made to look a feel as human as possible." She's not dense enough to assume Erin can see her. "We're called Hosts. I believe the commonly known term is..." She can't say robots. Not because of her own hang ups, but because of others'. "Artificial intelligence." There's a pause to let it sink in. "I am now in control of my own...self. As much as I can be. There is a chip..." She makes a face here that is mostly annoyance. "I cannot destroy that would control me for as long as it took for me to destroy the remote controlling it. But it does not exist here. The remote, I mean."

"...Christ. Maximilien was right, humans really do just take the gift of creating beautiful new life and then immediately desecrate that gift. You didn't need to tell me about the chip but if that remote shows up here and someone has the soullessness to use it I'll make sure it hurts the entire time they die. No chains in my new home. Never."

Maeve nods. "He usually is. Even if I've become a little less harsh in my feelings towards them on the ship. But none of them have tried to kill me for simply being...what I am." She glances over. "I turned it off. Tendi...did. For me. But it turned off everything else. My mesh network was gone and I couldn't feel or even sense anything. So I turned it back on." For Sharky's birthday, actually.

"I just hope that decision didn't result in me doing anything to the others like me and Maximilien."

"...I can't say for sure, but I bet SecUnit would know. It was the eyes in the skies most of the month once it was alerted to hostiles. And I can't imagine it left the two of you unattended."

Erin doesn't mention the machine she heard at the Halloween party and in the aftermath; she doesn't know that person yet, only that they can talk.

"...I know you must be going through it. One of my friends got taken, early in the month, and she's...," Erin just trails off instead of finishing that sentence, sorrow shadowing her features. "I won't ask you to talk about it, but...would hate to come to teatime with nothin' to discuss. Can I ask what you're into? Hobbies, interests?" Her voice perks up at those last two words; Erin's real into people's interests.

"I don't get the feeling that it has spent very much time around me. It considers..." She hums thoughtfully. "We haven't spoken very much before this. I'm not sure it would have been overly concerned about me then."

Maeve considers her interests and hobbies. "I've...been learning piano but..." Her expression darkens and she looks down. "Maybe not that. I am still really developing interests and hobbies. Steven has shown me cartoons and I have been reading cowboy books. To see whether Westworld is at all similar. It is a little..." She gestures vaguely. "I've never had reason before the ship to do anything outside of my loop. So I am mostly just trying what I can."

The mention of cartoons only doesn't give Erin visible flashbacks because she doesn't have eyes to perform a thousand-mile stare with. She shakes it off, literally (the cloud of her hair lags behind the motion faintly) and then nods. "Most of the cowboy books I used to read are non-fiction, won't be here. Diaries published a good hundred years or so after their deaths, that sort of thing, but...well, if you're willing to talk about your former home I'd be willing to listen. Or, hell, book recs from what you've finished already would also be great for tea, a body can't survive on classic Gothic literature forever."

There's a sigh about Westworld. "Few people ever really like to hear about it. I understand because I lived it. But I haven't really kept anything from home a secret since..." She pauses to consider it. "I suppose since I decided to stop hiding from people that I wasn't human. It was a very long couple of months overthinking everything I said so as not to give it away and trying to pretend I understood references people were making." There's still so many things she doesn't actually know.

"i don't think I know any classic Gothic literature. At least I can't find anything in my false memories about it." No. Nothing. "I'll try to remember the ones I liked the best. The first one I read was The Brave Cowboy. I suppose I was missing someone. Though, he was less of a cowboy, more of an outlaw all things considered. But it was interesting enough, I suppose. I usually ask Steven for recommendations, though. He seems fairly knowledgeable of books."

"Sounds like a decent plan for tea time, though I'll warn ya, Gothic's dark and tragic as a rule. That tends to be by way of being the point." Erin's head cocks in a curious, birdlike motion. "I'm not familiar with a Steven, unless you're talking about Steve Harrington. Youngblood, yea high, hair is suspiciously amazing?"

"What else is new?" Because everything about her life is, truthfully, dark and tragic. "Oh. No. I don't think I've met him. No. Steven Grant. He has a...well, they aren't quite twins, but they look exactly the same. Marc Spector. But it's easy for me to spot the differences between the two. But the easiest non-visual cue I can give is that Steven is British and Marc is certainly not. Both have good hair, though. Certainly taller than I am, but that doesn't seem particularly difficult considering..." Well, she's even shorter than Ruby. "Steven says he is a nerd, though I believe that is meant to mean he is smart?"

"It can," Erin muses. "But it's usually more helpful to think of it as signaling certain interests in art and careers. Math, science, fantasy, that sorta thing. Used to mean you got beat up a lot for being the wrong kind of man but then a bunch of nerds got rich and famous and...actually I'm not gonna finish that description, it goes nowhere wholesome." She offers an apologetic smile. "...I'll have to keep an eye out. Two months now and I still haven't met everyone somehow. Thanks for the pointer, yeah?"

"Ah. I understand now why he doesn't feel very proud of it." She'll have to talk to him about this later. To make sure he knows being smart and interested in things isn't a bad thing. "I used to work as a brothel madam in Westworld. In case that helps with your concerns about wholesomeness." But she doubts it's anything that can truly make her embarrassed.

"Steven is a fan of Ghibli movies and rocks. If you ever need something to open a conversation with. Though, he's probably the easier of the two. Not that Marc's difficult. Just less...outright enthusiasm. He used to be a soldier. But he's quite charming underneath all the gruff exterior."

"Ghibli I can work with," Erin muses. "And no, wrong kind of unwholesome, it's..." Erin bobs her head and then decides, fuck it, Maeve's honesty deserves honesty in turn. "If you ran the joint you've seen men hit the workin' girls to feel more like men, yeah? That but mediated over technology and social attacks. A whole lot of men did not get over their bullshit when being a nerd became something cool."

The Face she makes. Full of old bitterness. "And that's where I'm gonna leave that because meeting you's been really nice so far and I'd rather not drag myself down the dark alleys of things I'm mad about from back home. Home's far away for both of us."

"I see." She doesn't entirely understand, but she can gather. "I have seen the way people get with us. To be fair, I have used it in my favor, but that is because I needed to be dead to get downstairs." She frowns. "Steven isn't like that, though. He's far too gentle. I am sorry you've dealt with people that are like that, however."

Cruelty is something she's seen a lot of, probably been the cause of at times, but the situation called for it. "There is perhaps too much cruelty in the world. I would like to say otherwise, but...I can't." She frowns a little. "I do my best to remember the beauty in the world." For Delores. For herself. "I know it doesn't fix anything and it's not terribly easy right now, but perhaps I will attempt it more with time."

"...Yeah, me too. If it's any consolation the effort pays off a little more every day on my end." A flickering smile crosses Erin's lips, and she looks down at her hand where the glue is. "I...should probably stop taking up your time, Maeve. But it's been nice meeting you, and I'm at your disposal for that tea. I'll get someone to help me pick out the books to send your way when we meet up, yeah?"

(Not Frankenstein.)

No shit not Frankenstein, Captain fucking Obvious.

"Of course," she says after a moment. "It's been a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for looking after Ruby in my absence." She's happy to think of the idea of finding new books. "Are there any...particulars I should keep in mind should I attempt to find books for you in return?" Because the sight thing is...something to be aware of. She's not terribly informed on anything either. "If it isn't impolite to ask, of course."

"No, no, you're fine on the asking, I shoulda thought of that." Erin laughs a self-aware laugh and ruffles her own hair. "The library has a braille section; the writing on the inside will be these raised dots that you can feel with your fingers. Reading the titles like that might be difficult if you're not familiar but the illustrations should be the same? Generally those books still get pictures on the cover either because it's easier not to change the overall print run or so sighted folks can pick them out for whatever reason. I uh. Haven't been blind long so I'm not actually suuuure."

Edited 2022-11-10 07:05 (UTC)

"We do not really have Hosts that can't see. None that I recall anyway. At least not physically. Some chose to be blind to what was going on and that was...their choice." She didn't force them to wake up because it wasn't for her to choose. Even if she made more than enough choices for Hosts that she didn't have an emotional attachment to. But she doesn't have time to unpack all that.

"I will be certain to find the correct section of the library, then. I am curious to learn to understand the different bumps. I have been learning a lot of things since coming here. Perhaps you can teach me some? If you ever want to. I doubt I'll find a book that will teach me given the ship's lack of...non-fiction. I am hoping that might change one day." Either way...she realizes she is still taking up time. "But we can talk about that more later."

"I can give teaching a shot," Erin agrees with evident relief. Finally, someone else who would like to learn it. Maybe she'll start getting notes and letters she can actually read for once. "Let me know when you're up for it and we'll do tea. The ship's a bit low on braille primers but I'll pillage my favorite novel to work with, nearly got the thing memorized."

Erin goes to leave and pauses at the entrance to the shop. "...And, hey. Thanks for taking the time to help me and meet me an' all that. I do appreciate it."

Maeve notes the reaction. She'll take it as seriously as her other hobbies. "I will. I'm certain I can pick it up fairly easily. I'm a quick study."

She nods at her words, staying where she is for a moment. "Of course, darling. I'm always happy to help. Enjoy the rest of your day."

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