I should have wrote a letter

[millay]

Who: Maeve & OTA
Where: Promenade, Playback, and John's
What: November catchall, fallout from October stuff
When: November 6th onwards



1. Promendade

Once she leaves the room finally, she stops at Sundries to pick up a package. When she opens it, she stares for a long moment at the trifold tablet with the hook up. She sits in the middle of the promenade and pulls out a small knife to cut her right forearm, sighing as her fingers found the port and then connected herself to the tablet before pulling up the diagnostic screen and running a scan.

Everything seems functional so far. No signs of any injury or malfunctions.

“Well, I guess that’s…good,” she says to the air before pulling another screen up with the attribute matrix. She doesn’t immediately move to change things, but her fingers hesitate over the screen as she considers it. She could feel less of this, could just avoid it. But she has shit to do and...really, she shouldn't.

2. Playback

It’s the noise of the place that draws her in. She can hear the machines both in and out of her head and it’s the sound of it that’s steadying her in that moment. She doesn’t have any idea still how to make the games work or play anything. Which is why she just…stands there, eyes closed as she listens to everything. The sound of other people helps as well and she feels a little less overwhelmed after a moment. She wonders if it’s cheating to use her abilities to control the machines as she makes the claw move on its own. Not that she cares for prizes, but she does want to at least try for something. Only as the minutes pass, she shakes her head.

“Do you know how to play any of these games,” she asks whoever is closest to her. “I want to learn something new.”

3. John’s

She hasn’t seen Phil in a while. She’s been avoiding John’s because he’d said that he needed time. But when she peeks in, she doesn’t see him. Just hears the sound of Billy Joel filtering through the air. So she walks in and finds a booth to sit in where she can just listen to the music for a while.

She doesn’t actually know the song but the mood is at least less depressing than her mood at the moment. If anyone happens to find her sitting there, she’ll go from sitting with a chin resting on her hand to sitting up straight. “Oh. Hello, darling. I didn’t notice you there.” A beat. “Do you know this song?”

4. Wildcard

Hit me with whatever you like~ If you wanna run anything by me, my plurk is kingdonkey and otherwise, discord is kingdonkey#6187

Comments

[millay]

Maeve isn’t sure what that could be. If she even wants to know. There’s some anxiety lurking somewhere in the back of her mind. Whoever the woman was, she didn’t like her.

“That’s…understandable. I hope…” What? Hope what? It wasn’t too bad? Obviously it was. “Do you want to talk about it?”

[littlefairytale]

Another big, deep breath and she smiles, softly. Trying to be a little reassuring. She's not sure if it'll work. "...maybe. Probably. We should— we should maybe find somewhere to actually sit down, though. That'll be more comfortable than me getting into it right here in the middle of the arcade."

[millay]

She glances out at the promenade. “Perhaps the benches? Or…if you think it would be better, we could go to the…uh…ice cream place?”

[littlefairytale]

Ruby tilts her head a little, like it's some big decision, but honestly the answer comes pretty quickly. "Ice cream does sound nice... everything is kinda better with ice cream."

And she can always use eating some or brain-freeze as an excuse to gather her thoughts if she needs to...

[millay]

Ice cream does seem to be the way to go. At least...that's what Maeve's noticed. In general. It also gives her something to do with her hands. "Yeah. That's what I've been told, too."

So she starts over toward Scoops, the anxiety settling in the pit of her stomach. She's not really sure what she's going to hear, but...everything about the person that was in her chafes and she wants nothing more than to destroy her. And yet, she can't.

[littlefairytale]

Ruby sticks close to Maeve's side as they walk down the promenade from Playback to Scoops, quiet and buzzing with nervous energy but in some ways more relaxed than she could be. Maeve isn't mad at her, not that she really thought she would be, but...

She ends up with a bowl of chocolate and cookies & cream, once they settle into one of the shop's booths.

"She knew... everything about me that you knew. Which to pretend to be you she had to, I guess, but it only really settled in for me when," she sighs, "when she said something about people back home taking my childhood away."

[millay]

Once the get to Scoops, Maeve settles on the peanut butter and chocolate flavors. She wants to try the lavender ice cream, but today seems like a more chocolate kind of day.

She listens as Ruby talks, studying her face for a moment. "Ah. She said that, did she?" She wouldn't have put it that way necessarily. "I can see how that would be upsetting."

[littlefairytale]

"It kind of was, but I've been thinking a lot about that this last month or so already, you know? It's not exactly how I'd describe it even now, but I know... I know I've missed years I should've got to be a kid. It was... it was everything she said after that really got under my skin."

She doesn't immediately elaborate, brow knitting as she tries to think of how you even broach this. She shovels a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth and flinches at the bite of brain-freeze.

[millay]

Maeve nods. She has. Not that she really had a childhood herself. But she was built as an adult and so there wasn't really a childhood to have. It was just one of those things. But Ruby could have had more of one. But the adults in her life seemed fine letting her do...whatever. Her own daughter hadn't been capable of a real childhood either, but that was Delos' fault.

She notes the flinch, head tilting slightly. "After that?" She's not sure if she can even guess. She's just...here. "You can tell me if you like," she says softly. "Or you don't have to. Either is fine. Whatever you're most comfortable with."

[littlefairytale]

"She— brought up my mom." Ruby's eyes are entirely on the ice cream, now. She doesn't even lift another bite to her mouth, just starts poking it with her spoon. "Which is... cruel, anyway, but it was in the context of—"

She mashes the ice cream more with her spoon. Pale cream of the cookies & cream turning browner as it melts in with the chocolate. She sighs, deeply.

"—of me already knowing what it was like, to lose a mom."

She just leaves that in the air, with no elaboration. Letting the implications speak for themselves. Either Maeve figures it out and she doesn't have to drop this on her in words just like that, or she comes to a different conclusion and Ruby gets to either let that conclusion sit or take it as an out.

[millay]

Maeve feels the anger bubbling up all over again because who was she and why can't she destroy her slowly?

But she's distracted from all of that by the last thing she says. It's not like she's unable to grasp what's being said. Erin mentioned it before, but it's...different here. "Ah. I've...well..." She looks down, not entirely certain she's meant to point out that Erin said something in case it crosses some informational boundary. "And that hurt? The insinuation that you knew that...regarding me." She is mostly playing with her own ice cream at this point.

"I wouldn't...ah...assume that's..." For someone who is usually much better with her words, this is...not her best. "I know I'm not your mother. Not truly. But I do care for you very much."

[littlefairytale]

Ruby flashes her an awkward, almost sad little smile. "...a-and I know I'm not your daughter, not really. But— but it hurt because she was right. Because that was... that was what it felt like."

It's weird, she feels more nervous having this conversation than she does in most battles. Her heart is really going and she keeps wanting to fidget. Her legs start swinging.

"Because you've been really good to me and I really care about you, too. And I couldn't tell right then if her saying that just meant you'd picked up on what I was thinking, or..."

[millay]

Maeve certainly hadn't expected this. The feeling of caring and responsibility that came over her as she got to know Ruby. She certainly hadn't expected to be someone that anyone else would want as a mother either. Even if it's just a mother figure. Not quite the same thing, but close enough. She reaches down to casually smooth down her skirt as if it will help or is necessary at all.

Her daughter is out of her grasp at this point. The one she's been fighting to get back to. But Ruby is here. Ruby is someone she can do something for. Her gaze is questioning as she looks her over quietly for a moment. It's another moment before she realizes she hasn't actually said anything.

"I don't know what she took from my memories. What information she had." There's a frown. "But perhaps she picked up on my own feelings and knew that...it was something that was a source of pain for you. Your mother." But she doesn't remember either side of the conversation. She doesn't know what Ruby said or anything that happened. It's disorienting.

"If you..." She pauses. "I would like..." No. This is not correct. "Despite the fact that we both have families...I think here we could be...each others. If you would like."

[littlefairytale]

Ruby holds with a nervous, thrumming tension as Maeve fumbles through her response. Hearing Maeve of all people all unsure of her words might get a little bit of a sympathetic giggle out of her any other day, but right now, she's just listening. She's stopped even mixing her ice cream.

The tears that try to well up in her eyes surprise her, but the bright, surprised, relieved grin doesn't. She laughs at herself, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand and nodding. Nodding, like, a lot.

"Y-Yeah, yeah I would like that. I would definitely like that."

She misses her family at home so, so much and she will always miss them, but most of her family back home isn't family by blood anyway. Even Uncle Qrow. She knows the value of a family you find.

[millay]

Maeve feels the anxious feeling in her chest dissipate and the relief is fairly evident on her own face. Maeve resists the urge to reach out and help wipe tears off Ruby's face. They've been through a lot in one conversation.

"Good." She smiles a little herself, reaching over to take one of Ruby's hands. She debates something. "I've never been so nervous before in my life and I've been..." Well, a vague gesturing that means 'Westworld, really'.

[littlefairytale]

Ruby immediately squeezes Maeve's hand back when she takes it, smiling with real sympathy over at her. "I've fought in so, so many battles and never felt that nervous. Emotional stuff is... it's complicated. Especially when we both have things hanging over us, when it comes to family."

She really is a pretty emotionally intelligent girl when she tries, at least.

[millay]

"It is, yes." Maeve hasn't really had to worry about it since...well, a while, truly. "I have been reminded of the truth of this since...the everything that was last month." And she doesn't even know the full everything of it yet.

[littlefairytale]

"It really was a doozy... the diner was bad, at the end, but the tension last month went on for so long. It wasn't just an excursion, you know, it was... everything. I'm glad it's over now, even if we'll be dealing with it for a while..."

Because of course they will, they're going to be feeling the ripple effects from this for a long time, the things it's taught them, the impact it's had on people and relationships... some of it isn't bad, because things like this, deciding they can be family, isn't bad, but so much of it is at least complicated.

[millay]

"Yeah. It was, in fact, everything." She could handle the thing with Hector in the crowd, the idea that the Captain had used people from their homes against them. She was herself then, angry and tired but at least herself. "Considering everything, I think you're right about that." Because she's seen people since then, seen the look in their eyes.

But she looks up at Ruby. At least she has a purpose here and someone to be present for, which means she can only hide away so much from everything. So she'll make the effort to look after herself a little more in order to look after Ruby. And that should work out for now, at least.

[littlefairytale]

Ruby rests her other hand on top of the both of theirs. "We'll get through it. We have each other. The passengers on this voyage... we're a bit of a mess, but we're trying, you know?"

She didn't catch most of what people found out about the other voyage the ghosts came from, but she got an idea.

[millay]

Maeve nods. "Yes. I imagine we will." She lets out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding for a moment. "Well, at least we're not alone in being a mess." Not that she's used to being a mess. "I can at least rest easy about that."

[littlefairytale]

"Everything's easier when you're not alone." As much as she's always struggled to actually rely on other people. She's always been the one making sure others aren't alone. Now she's trying to figure out how to do both. "I think it's just hard to remember that sometimes when you don't want to make people worry."

[millay]

There's a nod. "It is, yes." She looks at Ruby quietly for a moment. "I want you to feel free to come to me whenever you need to. I don't care what the reason or if you're worried about bothering me, yes?"

[littlefairytale]

Ruby has to take a big breath, but she nods firmly. As if committing to it in her own head at the same time. "Okay. I will. I will absolutely worry I'm bothering you at first, but I'll ignore it."

[millay]

Maeve smiles a little. "I have more than enough time on my hands, so you shouldn't worry."