come_sailaway | To infinity...and beyond? (Semi-open)

Entry tags:

To infinity...and beyond? (Semi-open)

Who: Ari Tayrey + willing CR + anyone else who wants in
What: Mini-plot: an expedition to determine what kind of infinite this store really is
When: 25-29??? November
Where: The Infinite Tommy Bahama
Warnings: None yet
Notes: First prompt is a text message sent to Ari's friendly-ish CR - replies are welcome even from people who don't want to take part! Other prompts are open but please note that participating characters will potentially be in the store for up to 4/5 days. Party post rules are fine, start your own toplevels and tag people other than Ari if you like. ((I checked with our lovely mod about what would happen if they tried this!))

1. Texting

I have a plan. I want to see just how infinite this Tommy Bahama is. Multi-day expedition for data collection? It could be informative. Maybe fun, too. Interested in coming along?

- Tayrey

2. Preparing

Even people who don't know Ari well may notice that something is up. It's not often that people walk into Tommy Bahama wearing backpacks full of supplies. There's some last-minute preparation going on here, as well as a last-minute opportunity to join the expedition. Expect Ari to want to check and make sure everyone has all the essentials with them. She's used to preparing for trips to uninhabited and potentially hostile planets, and it shows. Don't mind the fussing. She wouldn't do it if she didn't care.

3. Exploring

Despite all the promises, the expedition is - well, boring might be an accurate description, unless you're really invested in the outcome. There's a lot of walking past the same racks of clothes, over and over and over. Infinite length doesn't mean infinite variety.

Ari's fascinated, and she'll be chattering about loop programming to anyone who will listen, and attempting to measure the distance between one rack of garishly-patterned bikinis and the next iteration of that very same rack. She'll encourage tests, too - what happens if you completely destroy one of the displays? Is the destruction repeated? (Spoiler alert: no, it's not that kind of loop, but let's try it a few times anyway and make sure?)

Maybe you give up and head back after a few hours. Maybe you have a run-in with the Bahamanal. Maybe you join in with Ari's ridiculous spacer song singalong - she is in a good mood. It's Tommy Bahama, anything could happen.

4. Relaxing

Ari pushes the pace on the first day, because it comes naturally to do so, and possibly, subconsciously, to weed out anyone who isn't serious about this and is going to cause them problems once they're a long way in. Eventually, though, it's time to stop for the night. There's not a campfire, but it's a fine social occasion just the same. Ari's brought some Serena Eterna branded playing cards, and she's up for a little gambling. Maybe you have some other entertainment ideas. Don't stay up too long, though - see if you can't make a nice nest of clothes to bed down in. There's plenty of walking to do tomorrow.

5. Emerging

Plenty of data has been collected about the repeating displays, but there's no end in sight to this store. Is it really infinite? If there's a way to answer that question, this expedition won't do it. It's over two days in when the group realises that they're over halfway through the supplies they brought. Time to turn around, whether that leaves you disappointed or delighted.

Unfortunately, there are no tricks of perception or proportion here. It'll take just as long to walk out as it did to walk in. Look on the bright side, at least you're carrying less weight? Finally, on the fifth day, the intrepid explorers who stayed the distance catch sight of the store entrance up ahead. Who saw it first?

6. Wildcard

Anything else you want to do! (Just let me know if I need to add warnings to the header :) )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[His expression softens on Ari, but he trusts her enough to let her see some of the pain.]

Not in Hell it isn't.

In Hell, that's... just strength. And fear. Teyrey... Ari... No one in Japan wants to deal with the foreigners usually. Only me. They're terrified of what they might bring. You'd think things couldn't get worse. If we don't get food from the foreigners, and offer them luxuries, we'll all starve. And yet, that's how they are. And there's pride too. No one likes to admit when they need to accept help, and demons least of all. Because exposing that weakness gets you eaten.

She didn't mean to insult you, or she would have just openly done so. Bluntly.

For you contracts are the means to peace. For her... It would be like if I tried to force you into wearing slave collar and pretty dresses and treat you as an object. Or perhaps even if you were trying to offer that. It's a game of traps. One you should not play.

For now if you need space, I'll afford you it. But if she comes to you, I ask that you consider these things, all right?

I have my pride too. I don't believe that anyone strong would just accept being treated like that. In Hell they don't live by my non-aggression principles, do they? They'd answer insults with violence.

[And he called her Ari, and she doesn't know what to think of that. It's strange. Uncomfortable. Nobody shipside would, not even her friends. Klaus did, but he was... she doesn't have the heart to correct Klaus on that sort of thing. He's not like the others.]

She insulted me. You didn't, so I'm not going to quarrel with you about this, alright? I don't want to. I value you, and our friendship, far too much. But if she comes to me, I'll give her exactly what she asked for. No contract. No consideration. No hostility either, just - nothing. And that's all I have to say on the matter.

[A nod.]

Magic it is.

With one brief correction. On this ship the two strongest people I've met are Maeve, and Valdis. Remember this.

[It doesn't help because Ari had been talking about herself. The idea that only someone weak would accept being insulted and do nothing about it.

Valdis thinks she's weak, then. Nobunaga does as well, it seems - although she's not angry with him for that. He knows all her weaknesses, because she let him close enough to see them. That way she could learn from him. Knowing that he thinks better of Valdis than of her is grating, to say the least, but it just makes her want to prove herself. To train more, work harder until she's strong in his eyes.

She says nothing more about the difficult topic, but she does move closer to him, and she has to stop herself from reaching out to take his hand - not appropriate, Tayrey! - so instead she just walks close beside him, hoping he'll understand.]

[No, Nobunaga thinks Teyrey is possibly one of the smartest people, up there with Mitsuhide. A difference from strength. Hideyoshi is stronger than Mitsuhide, but not smarter.]

[As Teyrey gets closer...]

[He just gives a sneaky grin and:] Space Invasion! [This is the warning he's been told (once) to do, and does now. And then he glomps her in a hug.]

[Hugs are violence. He's being violent. Okay okay.]

You're brilliant. I know I've told you before, and I'm telling you again. And I'll keep saying it. I'm really proud of you for everything.

[Ari knows that warning, so this time she's not startled and jumpy when he hugs her. That said, Nobunaga has to know enough Tradeliner code now to be aware that if you're violent, you can get violence back - in this case, a very heartfelt hug, arms wrapped around him. Not very professional? Right now she doesn't care.

One day she is going to stop worrying that any little unsolvable disagreement might make him suddenly dislike her, but she's not quite there yet.]

Thank you. I'll work harder, I will. I want to be strong. [In all the ways that count.] And I'll remember the kind things you say about me.

[Okay, but Nobunaga escalates! And picks her up slightly and swings her a little! This much!!! He's proud this much!]

You're doing great. When we're our own harshest critic, it's tough to remember that we can be doing the best when it's so easy to focus on only the flaws. Just remember I'll never lie to you on this, I'm just not that kind. I'd say you're already doing better than Ieyasu and Ranmaru. I'd give you a castle on successful completion, but I'll have to do something better. Maybe a teapot. So you can blend your berries and matcha.

[Unexpected! Usually she is the one picking people up. Or picking Klaus up, at least. She likes it, more than she expected she would.]

A teapot that's better than a castle! I can't wait to see it. You're right, that's one of the things I like about you. You won't lie to me.

[With a teasing smile.] Maybe I'll have to test you someday. Not make an effort and see if you tell me it's not good enough.

[She wouldn't really, not with her perfectionist tendencies.]

[He laughs!]

I absolutely will! I'm very brutal. If anything, I am testing myself right now, not to be too domineering to make sure I give you enough chance to prove yourself, and not just let my impatience take a hold of me! Only test me if you like abuse. Mitsuhide has to always make sure his pranks never land on my feet because of this. He likes to joke with Hideyoshi and Masamune, and Ranmaru, so if he goes too far I wind up being the one tripping his wires, and then it blows up in his face.

It is a next level move, as they say!

Klaus is good at turning them back on me though! Whenever I think I have him cornered, he just does something so outrageous I can't keep up. [Another laugh.]

So you can ask him for tips.

At Halloween I tried to blow him a kiss. It's a J-Idol move from the future. Like this. [Blows Klaus a kiss!] All my generals, even Mitsuhide would have fainted if they saw it, or thought I was possessed. Instead Klaus goes like this.

[Pretends to catch it, hold it heart and put in a chest pocket.]

That is how I am when you test me. Dangerous and wildly unpredictable. Even I don't know what will happen until it does! [He sounds... proud of that? Yes, proud of that.]

[Ari laughs, too.] Right now, with this expedition? You know, if I am doing anything wrong that makes you very impatient, you have to tell me, but - quietly. Like you were my trusted second. [Spacer-style, like she is to Savitskaya. Speaking of-]

I think after my shipside training it'd take a lot to bother me, but alright. No deliberate testing, just in case.

Would your generals really have fainted over that? I can't imagine it! Such a little thing. If you did it on a starship, people might stare a little, but not care much.

You're not doing anything wrong, I'm just hyped up excited, and I have to remember not to be everywhere. I always have this problem right before battle too. I want to run around and check in with every single soldier, and try to help, but almost everyone would do better if I was just calm and able to sit still and wait.

[And he laughs and shakes his head.] If you were an Earther, I could take credit for that. Even though gay marriage or same sex relationships is normal enough, nothing is normal fir the royal court. Politics. In the way you hate most.

If I was to court a princess, we would be separated always by those folding screens, and chaperones. It would be painfully formal and dull. For me dancing alone is no big deal. But with a partner, is more intimate than sex. I told Klaus that when we first met. It's not that way at all in the future! He does duets with his siblings or strangers, but for me...

Ah, but this is more unique to me. Ranmaru or the others could, but for the Demon King it's extra bizarre. Very soft seeming. Exposing a weakness easy to exploit. Dangerous too.

I don't think anyone here will mind you checking in with them, and it's good that you're excited! I'm excited for this too! It's not like a planetary expedition, but it's the closest we're going to get here.

[She looks thoughtful.] Being still and calm is something you can learn, but only do it because you think it's going to be of use to you, not because there's anything wrong with how you are. I don't like having to do it for a long time, but only because it's so boring. When you first start on the Tradelines you take a bit of time to work in every section of the ship, so you understand it, but of course because you aren't properly trained, you don't get interesting jobs. One of the worst is just having to stand guard outside the cargo bay. Hours of still and quiet. You'd hate it.

[Yes, she'd offered to stand outside his door if he didn't feel safe. Boring job, but worthwhile if what's behind the door matters.]

I always thought it was interesting how different colonies have such different customs. Being here I realise they are much more alike than I thought. Compared to Earth. In our sector nobody minds who your partner is, but the closest you'd get to marriage would be long contract. Some colonies prefer that. Contract with a partner but for ten years. Maybe twenty. Dancing isn't intimate on Cardalek but partner dancing is formal, so I never did it. I danced once when I was patched out on nova, but that doesn't count.

Maybe it's good for a Demon King to surprise people? Appear to be soft sometimes, so they don't know how strong you really are? [It's not what she would do, but it seems like something he might.]

There's monthly expeditions to different worlds too. Supposedly. The first month I was here we went to an island with lizard people and parrots and hawks and crazy colored uni -- spiky sea urchins. The others are birds. And Deputy Pratt went treasure hunting and I dug a trench. And the month before that, they went to a diner with cars and had to fight their way out with zombies, which sounded really funny. If there's another one, you should come with me and Klaus. I only met him a couple days after the last one with all the animals, or I would have dragged him to the drinking game, but Crichton won it, I was really impressed! He drank 17 cups of rum. Crazy.

[Laughs.] I've stood guard before, Teyrey. And yeah, I do hate it. [More laughs.]

It is good to surprise people. That's why I did it. I thought Klaus would be shocked too! [Laughs.] He was shocked when not-me, when I was possessed and hugged him. So I told him the real me will hug him someday. When I'm stronger.

Those aren't expeditions! They're new ways for people to be tortured or killed. I was told about them and I don't know why anyone would volunteer. I suppose if someone doesn't care if they're killed, it wouldn't matter to them, but it seems like needless danger to me. And the captain would find it even more amusing, getting people to volunteer for awful things.

I thought you'd be too important for guard duty! [She sounds slightly impressed, though, knowing how difficult it'd be for him.] There, now I know you can be still when you have to.

You haven't hugged Klaus yet? You don't have to, of course you don't, but I think he really loves hugs. [What did it mean that he'd hugged her, then?]

Nobody died during the island! [He doesn't know about Smith, Arthur, and Steven sailing into the void... But to be fair, that was NOT the Captain's fault!] And even the zombies time, only one person died, because the Captain needed a volunteer for his stupid magic powers, supposedly, and Mr. Pleasant, the Skeleton did it so. [SHRUG.] And this month he just did the gameshow. And he didn't even have shark tanks. I would have shark tanks. Or at least spikey death traps. But I guess you can overdo such a thing, and then they lose their punch. Plus, I think Skulduggery has been trying to convince him, the Captain, that other types of emotions work just as well, maybe even better.

[And he laughs.] You can never be too important for guard duty. First to keep everyone on their toes. Secondly to show them up if they're being stupid. Oh and thirdly, it's a good way to ambush idiots. They think you're inside, and that only low-ranking officers without much experience are on the outside, and them BAM! Perfect anti-ninja trap!

Besides, when I was young, I only inherited, about two hundred men. In all of Owari we only had 50 horses, and not all of them were for cavalry. Even when I united us and lured away Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide, I wasn't much more than 1000. I couldn't afford not to do everything alongside everyone else. And I don't want a world where people at the top of the castes think they're too important to understand farming or the rest.

I've hugged Klaus. [Grins!] Just not out of nowhere. He does love hugs. Mostly I just let him hug me. Or I carry him places. [Tsun tsun intensifies! She's practice and warm-up!!] And I've held his hand.

If there had been shark tanks and death traps, I'd have stayed in my seat when my name was called, because I didn't volunteer for anything, especially not a death game. And then I'd never have had my victory, that we can credit both to the Tradelines and the Oda army.

[She shrugs.] I think that, being prisoners, we shouldn't volunteer for things. It's too co-operative.

I think that's a clever plan. The idiots would never suspect a thing. On a starship, everyone helps in an emergency or a battle, so if Savitskaya's flying the ship and I'm not needed for it, I'm in charge of a repair team instead, even though it's not my regular job.

[Ari doesn't really understand farming. Or cooking. Or any everyday things that neither directors' daughters nor spacer lieutenants are expected to do. She's not going to mention it, of course, although he can probably guess, given her reaction to the idea of cleaning this ship when the ghosts weren't doing it, or organising Tommy Bahamas.]

That's good. I think Klaus needs a lot of hugs. [And he's had a hand-hold but Ari hasn't, so now she doesn't have to feel bad for him.]

Ohhhh Oda forces win too, I like it. Have you tried your berries in tea yet?

I don't think we're that much prisoners. Maybe it's a time thing, but even Klaus' time prisons don't let you volunteer for things. It's better to volunteer than be forced. If the Captain is choosing between carrot and stick, I'm just not masochistic enough to choose the stick. It might not be the same as choosing where I go, but it's still a free carrot.

[A small laugh.] Klaus does need a lot of hugs. And friends. And good things in general. He's had a hard life. I told him how I want a mini-bag with spiders earlier. I think I am even more banned from that than playing Siffleur's death game.

I have! I tried them on the very first day, to be sure they weren't poisoned before I shared them with anyone else. [Speaking of unnecessary risk-taking...but it was that or throw them away.]

On the Tradelines we don't have prisons, because it'd be inefficient, and because of the right to liberty, so maybe I don't understand them properly? I thought a prison was a place where you are trapped under the control of someone else and not permitted to leave when you want to. If you don't think we're prisoners, what would you call us? Not guests. Guests can leave.

What do you mean about carrots? That you can't eat a stick, but you can eat a carrot so it's more useful?

A mini-bag with spiders? Those little creatures? Why would he ban that?

Oh yeah. The first day I was here... I wouldn't eat anything. I kept watching everyone else, and worrying it was hallucinogenic like drugs. But I did try the alcohol. Even though it might be ghost juice. Mitsuhide would have a tough time with it. We have poison testers in the royal court. All the 150 families. Because we're always trying to kill each other. It's something I was trying to make obsolete. Mitsuhide has no sense of taste though, so he'd be... extra worried.

I think we're like refugees. We can't stay on the islands, because our souls got scavenged from the ether, and bound to a madman. I know, you don't believe in souls. I didn't used to, but I've met some people who can see mine, as darkened as it has been. I don't trust Skullduggery, but what he is saying makes the most sense, and even if he is wrong, it is best to act like he isn't. It's true prisons trap you, to keep you contained, but they are that primitive form of punishment, for breaking laws. They don't allow for luxuries, art, or entertainment. And there's more than just a single warden. There might be chains, and the other prisoners are exclusively pretty evil and damgerous. Sex is very different there too. You definitely can't roam most of the prison, and go on missions inside it. Almost no candy.

No one here deserves to be. Maybe that's true of Klaus and Pratt prisons. Pratt told me, the majority of his job was fining people for drunk driving. And as far as Earth came from my time, they added weird laws I don't understand. But there's no prison on Earth that would let me and Klaus have sex so often and in various places we've been getting away with it. Especially not when it broke one of their outside laws.

So I think we're like refugees. Like when Crichton and Mizusaki first got taken by a wormhole, they were really trapped, no way back. Crichton has been trying to find a way back to his time on Earth ever since. When he's not being hunted by aliens. Mizusaki, I told you she wants to go back to her time even though... it might kill her. After the ghosts possessed people, I've been thinking. The Captain isn't super active in how he gets people here. That's why the ghosts could escape some of his notice. When he first came, I thought he must be able to read minds. But everyone agrees, he cannot. Pratt and Skullduggery said he gets people almost at random. This makes sense, because no one trying to become a God would choose someone like me: a demon king godslayer.

I think he's just pulling us from a sort of vortex. Yato said Izanagi -- one of the big Japanese gods, never let's go of souls easily. It's always a big fight among them for who gets to use people as they wish.

Even this ship has been scavenged. It's American. That's why it's got a ton of weird American things. When you build a prison, you don't make it to entertain its passengers. You focus on preventing break outs. There is nothing to prevent you from trying. I know people have tried and failed, but you can still try. I think it's a ship because... I don't know. Maybe I just... overassociate myself, and my thinking to him sometimes. Know the enemy, know thyself, right? But... I would make a ship because I want to travel. I would make a warship because of the dangers, but what if the only danger is people getting bored? Then I'd try to have as many bars, and arcades, and the rest as possible.

I told you, I'm worried about Mai trying a wormhole to get back to her time. For selfish reasons, I think she can help my goals. If the Captain here is in the same situation, then he wouldn't go out of his way to enable wormholes to get back, where the souls might get destroyed or endanger the Captain and ship too. But he would try to amuse people. Like the game show. And just like me. When I'm unbalanced, I revert to acting like the Owari fool. Sometimes it's just for fun. Because I fucking can. Who's going to stop me? But a lot of the time, it's easier if people I distrust extra think I'm just a loud mouthed idiot with the ego larger than a planet. I'd rather people hate me than try to get too close and use me selfishly. That, I know, the Captain is like too. And hugs are violence. Americans -- Klaus, Crichton, a few others are really huggy. Pratt's not. But I bet he used to be.

Carrot and stick is a standard bribe or punishment tactic for stubborn animals. I've never had one need it, but the European animals supposedly only respond to this. You lead them forward with a treat, food they like, and punish not moving or going backwards with the stick. Some foreign kings are small-minded like this too. Rather than trying to fulfill the ambitions of their nation, they offer very simple reward or punishment.

Klaus doesn't like spiders. And would constantly open the bag up and freak out at the spider trap. It is one of the ways we found we can do things that don't make us want to instantly fuck. Talking about Japanese insects. Japanese mythology is another one. And weird trivia about the future.

I don't believe in souls, and I don't believe half the nonsense written down in the library about the captain, but I can see why you say refugee, Oda. [It's a sad thought, and her head drops a little, in contemplation.] Sometimes Tradeliner ships pick up refugees. They're people who want to leave their homeworlds - who need to, because there's been an environmental failure, or a company collapse, or some other terrible thing. If it's bad enough, they don't mind where they go, because almost any other world would seem better than the disaster they had to leave. That's you, isn't it? You compare this place to Japan, and then you can tolerate not being free, because of all the other things that seem good to you.

I'm not a refugee. My Tradeline ship was better than this. Cardalek was better than this. I think I'm a prisoner - but not for any crime. As if I'd been kidnapped. Like a hostage. Someone who might be well-treated and not in chains, but who still isn't free, and is still in danger of being killed, and not at all in control of her own life. But hostages can go free if ransoms are paid or negotiations succeed, and even Earther criminals know how long they will be in prison before they're released. They can have hope. I'll only be able to leave if I make it happen. And I will. I want to go home as much as your Mizusaki does, so I'll have to find a way. That's my hope, my reason for carrying on.

[She's frowning again.] You're right that the captain likes it better when people hate him. Finds it easier, maybe. Did I tell you I tried to negotiate with him? He wouldn't even come to the table. Tried to shame and ridicule me instead - and I was so grateful for your advice, Oda, about how he finds people's weaknesses, because then I saw the tactic, and I didn't blame myself for not being good enough and failing at negotiation. Even if I think Captain Kavarai would have gotten him to speak. He'd have known how, and so would Savitskaya. But my point is that I didn't allow any upset. I shouted at his door, but I don't think he cared. Then there was the game day, when I won the prizes? I thanked him. Not because I'm grateful to him, but as courtesy, because I was being... theatrical, for the audience. And I saw his face then, and he didn't like that at all.

And that makes it harder. Out on the lines, when we say liberty or death, we actually mean it. Here I can't have either, so at the very least I should have enough pride to resist. To not co-operate with anything that looks like a trap. Make him do the work. If a tyrant tells you to get on your knees and you just do it, that's shameful. If you say no, and he hits you and knocks you down, that's not the same thing. He doesn't have your mind that way. You have to be suspicious of carrots. You don't want to become an animal that gets led around.

Then I got to thinking it might be a bluff. If he pretends he hates it when people are nice, and gets us to divert our attention to that, maybe that's another tactic of control. People who like him are nice to him for that. People who don't like him are nice to him because he looks displeased when they are. Nobody is causing him any trouble that way. Do you think he's that clever?

I'm pretty sure you want to go home more than Mizusaki does. Japan still exists in her time, it's just no longer Hell.

I can't pay your ransom, but I'll try to find you a way back to seeing your dreams through.

I might as well be a passenger. If I was a refugee, I would still try to take control of the helm. I don't trust the Captain, and no one knows how we get anywhere, some have said he just creates the places we go to, and it's all experiments for creating his own world. That is the kind of the thing I would do too, so maybe. But all the same...

[Nobunaga laughs about the Captain!] I'm glad our talks helped. Yeah, I can't stand being thanked either. Or people thinking they have -- power over me. Less relevant here. Here it is what I allow, so it's not a problem, but for him... [Shrug.] He's not as in control as he would like. As it is, I think someone dared him to do the contest, and that's why there were no traps. I can be pretty easy to goad into things too. But I'm only telling you so you can deal with him better. Good job though, I'm proud of you.

[As for dealing with tyrants... Nobunaga is a tyrant! But he doesn't want to deal with that argument again.]

[A sigh to the last part. Relatable.] No, it's not clever, it's cowardly. [Instant response.] If people are only nice to you because you're a tyrant and they're just sycophants who fawn and worship over you like cultists, then you will never ever worry about actually giving a damn for them or having your father's princess heart. [.... Yes, because the Captain's father was the one who was killed for being too kind/generous. OBVIOUSLY.]

The way to deal with tyrants isn't to refuse to bend. It's like how Mai did to me. You challenge them on their own morals, you hold firm to your own beliefs, your own identity, but you help them by letting them be something other than a tyrant.

Fuck I need to... Sit down for this actually.

[And he does, head in hands for a little bit, ostensibly getting water, but just trying to stay calm.] If you treat a tyrant like a tyrant, they will do everything to prove to you that's what they are. That's how I became the Demon King. That's -- [His arms shake a little. It's important. He promised himself from the start he would do this. Be frighteningly self aware even though it's the hardest thing in the universe for him. He actually goes to take a drink of some of the bottled tea.] Do not get into a contest of wills. It will harden him and he prefers it. It's why he hates the thank yous or genuine respect. It actually hurts, you know? No you probably don't. [A handwave.] Ask Klaus sometime. It sucks. It's so much easier when people just fear you. When the kindness is just, because they're afraid of the punishment.

Don't bow down because you're afraid. Early on Mai would. She was pretty terrified. And I -- both hated and loved it. Because it's how things should be. It's easier. It's when she just does things to be herself -- [A headshake.] Klaus is a better example. When he does things I can't begin to ask for. When he just treats me like... a friend. Like the long lost best friend he didn't know he was missing. [Fist over his heart. He's not wibbly stfu.] That's when it hits me hardest. I always tell people, masochists are the strongest. That's why. They're not saying they'll accept the carrot because they fear the stick. They're saying, they will take the stick, the carrot, and lead you around where they want to go.

I'm not saying to be a masochist to deal with the Captain. [Another handwave.] I'm saying... to be stronger than him is to use your own strengths. To not choose carrot, but to take more than he is even offering. Like Klaus does to me. Klaus isn't stronger than me, but I don't care, and in the end, it doesn't matter. Because if he just makes an off comment about liking something... I go out of my way to do it. Learn all this 90s pop music he likes, dress up like a lion, anything. There's limits. But hell if I know what they are. The Captain isn't too different. Again, I'm not saying you have to romance him. Just treat him not as a tyrant, and that's enough. That's what Crichton did to me, and Mai too. Both of them just... Neither were willing to act like that's what I am. So with them... I am never am. It's too much work to try to prove them wrong, and I wouldn't gain anything. Instead they reward me with things I wouldn't even think I wanted. So then I'm not just a tyrant. Get it?

Sometimes I think I want to go home more than anyone.

[It's a little bitterly said, but she listens, and when he sits down, she sits right beside him, very gently resting one hand on his back. She can see it's difficult. It's that awful tendency she has, pushing him into difficult conversations without meaning to.]

Remember one of our first agreements? That I should judge you for what you do, each day, instead of trusting? You've never been a tyrant to me, whatever you might have done in Japan. If I'd gone there instead of here, like Mai, and you'd... kidnapped me, and refused to negotiate, and been as awful as the captain, I'd have hated you too. I'd have made you kill me. But you were never like that to me, so I never thought that's what you were.

I'm not going to say I fully understand what goes on between you and Klaus, but I know you love each other. And I know he has to trust you. It takes a lot of trust to let someone hurt you. Even if he likes it. You have an unwritten contract, determining what you can do and he can do. You're not a tyrant to him either.

You think that I trust too much, and maybe I do, but once someone betrays that trust, or behaves in a way that makes it clear they don't deserve it, they never get it back. I'd never trust the captain, not even if he started being exceptionally nice to me. And I can't bring myself to do what you're suggesting, even if I do see the logic. It'd be like rewarding someone for cruelty towards me. It'd damage me too much to do it. I don't know if I can explain that.

Tradeliners aren't afraid. [Odd phrasing, but deliberate. If Tradeliners aren't afraid, she isn't either. She can't be.] It's like Breakaway. A war against a tyrant. Tell him to go sit in the dirt with his carrot, and stand strong and fearless against the stick. Even if it hurts. Even if some people die. It's principle, and in the end, you win. I don't want to help him become a better person. He has no right to that from me. I want him dead. Almost as much as I want to go home. I know you think he's like you, but that's only in some ways. You aren't the same.

You might. You have a lot more to go back to.

[A nod about the agreement.]

[And his brow furrows. Trust Klaus???]

[Ugh the idea also almost gives him a panic attack.]

[If Klaus wanted to stab him in the back... Well he did, right? He took Nobunaga's corpse out with his own sword. Which is somehow really sexy. (Nobunaga has issues.) What then would count as a "betrayal?" A failure?]

[Maeve mentioned the idea that if he had to choose between Klaus and Japan, he would choose Klaus.]

[Would he really? That certainly wasn't true while he was in Japan. He had to rescue everyone, not just himself. Even here, even if Klaus said Nobunaga didn't make him stay at the party, hadn't he? Played "big damn hero" as Klaus put it, and it was completely useless.]

[There's more words though, so he puts it on the backburner to focus.]

[Don't trust the Captain. But don't trust anyone.]

That's pretty Christian. [In... Nobunaga's extremely fucked up interpretation.] Standing strong against the stick and ignoring the carrot.

Why aren't we the same? [Genuine question. No one else has tried this tactic with Nobunaga so far, so he's just listening.]

[Ari blinks, and shakes her head.] You know more about Earther religions than me, but they wouldn't be standing strong to fight back like the colonies did, would they? Religious people would say oh, let the tyrant do what he wants, give him all your money and L-space equations, and don't complain about the stick because suffering is good for you and it'll get you reborn to suffer even more. [At least she remembered something about it?] I'd say it was masochistic but I think masochists have more sense than to do that. It takes irrational beliefs to go that far.

[It's obvious to her that Nobunaga and the captain aren't the same. Her opinions of the two men couldn't be more different. He seems genuinely curious, though, so she'll explain.]

You've done some harsh things in your life. I know that. But your values are sound, and your vision is one of freedom. Where people can decide things for themselves and they won't be restricted. Where war is over and there's peace and prosperity and flourishing. You know that you'll have to do difficult things to make that happen, but even then you don't force people. If people reject your contract, you don't really kill them, they just aren't your responsibility. You don't help them, but you want to help everyone who stands with you.

The captain is selfish. I don't mean healthy self-interest, I mean he'll use people for his own personal gain, and nothing else. His values are twisted, and his vision is just about power for himself, and he forces all of us to stay here no matter what we want.

[Ari bites her lip.] The contract I wanted to offer him. It was before we had ours. I would have said that I'd do whatever he wanted for a year, willingly. All the murder games or dangerous excursions, dying all the time, pretending I was happy about all of it, anything. And then when it was over, he'd send me home. Properly. I felt very hopeless, and I thought it didn't matter how damaged I would be at the end of it, if only I got home. I thought it was the sort of contract he'd like. All that suffering. Sacrificing what I valued.

I think if I'd offered that to him, he might have taken it. I think if I'd offered it to you, even in Japan, you'd have hated it, and been worried for me that I'd even suggest it. Not the same. Not at all.

[Quickly, as an afterthought:] You don't have to worry, I don't feel hopeless like that now. I have friends now, and I have our contract, and that matters.

Nah, it's the most hardcore of masochists! Jesus was like, "Yeah I know Caesar is going to torture the hell out of me, but he can only torture my body. He can't ever turn my spirit." He wasn't even like the Ikkou Ikki. They think the spirit doesn't get tortured, you just reincarnate. Caesar was the Roman military leader. He banned the Christians because they were too defiant and spreading their religion against his lands' other gods. They weren't even anti-taxes. They were total weirdos. They were like "Nah, production is fine. Just make sure you help the starving. It's no one's fault for being born blind or deaf, it wasn't a past life crime or their parents. If you're really strong, you can go right into the leper camps and help them! But you have be the strongest of the strong. And then it doesn't matter who whips you or anything!" Supreme masochists.

They brought down the Roman Empire, probably the strongest human civilization ever up to my point, just by refusing to bow. Literally, they said they only bend the knee to God. It was a huge deal in Japan, because our kneeling stance is the position you take in court. And when they first accidentally arrived, they refused to kneel, just kept standing.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

sorry, her turn to talk too much!

yaaaaaaaay!

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2 Nobunaga plz stop fanboying Christianity in the most fucked up way possible it's weird T_T