come_sailaway | To infinity...and beyond? (Semi-open)

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To infinity...and beyond? (Semi-open)

Who: Ari Tayrey + willing CR + anyone else who wants in
What: Mini-plot: an expedition to determine what kind of infinite this store really is
When: 25-29??? November
Where: The Infinite Tommy Bahama
Warnings: None yet
Notes: First prompt is a text message sent to Ari's friendly-ish CR - replies are welcome even from people who don't want to take part! Other prompts are open but please note that participating characters will potentially be in the store for up to 4/5 days. Party post rules are fine, start your own toplevels and tag people other than Ari if you like. ((I checked with our lovely mod about what would happen if they tried this!))

1. Texting

I have a plan. I want to see just how infinite this Tommy Bahama is. Multi-day expedition for data collection? It could be informative. Maybe fun, too. Interested in coming along?

- Tayrey

2. Preparing

Even people who don't know Ari well may notice that something is up. It's not often that people walk into Tommy Bahama wearing backpacks full of supplies. There's some last-minute preparation going on here, as well as a last-minute opportunity to join the expedition. Expect Ari to want to check and make sure everyone has all the essentials with them. She's used to preparing for trips to uninhabited and potentially hostile planets, and it shows. Don't mind the fussing. She wouldn't do it if she didn't care.

3. Exploring

Despite all the promises, the expedition is - well, boring might be an accurate description, unless you're really invested in the outcome. There's a lot of walking past the same racks of clothes, over and over and over. Infinite length doesn't mean infinite variety.

Ari's fascinated, and she'll be chattering about loop programming to anyone who will listen, and attempting to measure the distance between one rack of garishly-patterned bikinis and the next iteration of that very same rack. She'll encourage tests, too - what happens if you completely destroy one of the displays? Is the destruction repeated? (Spoiler alert: no, it's not that kind of loop, but let's try it a few times anyway and make sure?)

Maybe you give up and head back after a few hours. Maybe you have a run-in with the Bahamanal. Maybe you join in with Ari's ridiculous spacer song singalong - she is in a good mood. It's Tommy Bahama, anything could happen.

4. Relaxing

Ari pushes the pace on the first day, because it comes naturally to do so, and possibly, subconsciously, to weed out anyone who isn't serious about this and is going to cause them problems once they're a long way in. Eventually, though, it's time to stop for the night. There's not a campfire, but it's a fine social occasion just the same. Ari's brought some Serena Eterna branded playing cards, and she's up for a little gambling. Maybe you have some other entertainment ideas. Don't stay up too long, though - see if you can't make a nice nest of clothes to bed down in. There's plenty of walking to do tomorrow.

5. Emerging

Plenty of data has been collected about the repeating displays, but there's no end in sight to this store. Is it really infinite? If there's a way to answer that question, this expedition won't do it. It's over two days in when the group realises that they're over halfway through the supplies they brought. Time to turn around, whether that leaves you disappointed or delighted.

Unfortunately, there are no tricks of perception or proportion here. It'll take just as long to walk out as it did to walk in. Look on the bright side, at least you're carrying less weight? Finally, on the fifth day, the intrepid explorers who stayed the distance catch sight of the store entrance up ahead. Who saw it first?

6. Wildcard

Anything else you want to do! (Just let me know if I need to add warnings to the header :) )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nobunaga just whines, hands going back to holding Klaus. "Can't you try that somewhere safe first? I don't even know what would happen!"

"Okay garlic bread pizza. No candy. I'll have candy everything."

"Well don't fake drop me and I won't have to be mean." They are just gonna rest their chin on his shoulder now instead. "Plus if I lick you somewhere else, you might get hot all over again and we'd have to stop to take care of it. I mean, sure, I could probably levitate myself upside down to help, but there's almost zero chance of you being able to keep walking that way." That did not help.

"You're such a weirdo sometimes. But it's okay. I love you."

"It would probably be really hot, and someday we can try the sex and walking at the same time."

Speaking of weirdo!

"That's definitely going to be a feat. Unless it's like...handjobs and blowjobs. Then like...sure. We could maybe do that. It's not like when you're driving a car and someone does the same things, though. And you have to try not to crash the car and kill everyone." Yeah, maybe Klaus has been on both sides of that.

"Anyway, I'm willing to work on getting so much control over my levitating that I don't fall and hurt myself. That could make..." They pause, squinting slightly. "Anyway, there's fun things we could try that could be more fun with levitation. It's too bad the Captain doesn't have any copies of this book on all the different sex positions because I am willing to bet we could do like all of them if we tried. But that's like...for private times."

"Yeah, I've never had sex on a horse." He's thinking about this now. And it's getting hard to run again.

Nobunaga snorts, getting easier again. "I hate those books. Healthy living my ass. The monks are just so hard up they imagine weird things that don't even make sense. And there's plenty of romance novels. They all have gross lascivious covers. Bonnet was reading one when I first got here. About vikings." SIGH. It's to be expected. He's in love with an ex-cult leader after all... "I guess I can't hate it too much if it's you, but even the weird wood engravings with tentacle sex are better." He is an five year old emotionally. Which makes his horny old man status weird.

"Me either." Seems like it might be difficult, but...oh well. No animals and he's not gonna ASK SOMEONE if they can help them figure that out. Weird.

Klaus pauses. "What?" He doesn't remember anything about healthy living. "Uhhhh...." Oh. The erotic books. "Yeah, those can be a little weird sometimes, I guess. But do you like...hate trying different sex positions or?" Cause that is the point of his desire here. "I really can't get into tentacle porn. Hentai just is not for me. I'd be thinking about Ben the whole time and it would just...it's weird."

No asking Ylva or Valdis, that's too far. Besides, they're wolves, that's different.

Nobunaga makes a face... and then laughs, so it all fades again. "Most of the kama sutra is about wholesome shit, and how to make babies. Did you only look at the pictures?" He loves Klaus SO MUCH! "If I had a problem with the positions, I wouldn't go crazy whenever you do yoga. You are extremely flexible. Have you tried all of them?"

"What else are you supposed to look at? The words?" God. Who does Nobunaga think they are exactly? "Gotta keep up that flexibility so I can be limber and shit. Plus, I'm getting thrown around a lot, so...you know. Gotta compensate somehow." But he's glad it makes Nobunaga crazy because that is partly what he's doing this for, too. "Just imagine if I was wearing yoga pants. Wonder if there are any on this ship." He just hasn't looked. "Mmmm. Not all of them, but a lot of them."

"Typically yes," Nobunaga is so damn amused. "I have never loved anything as much as you right this moment. Somehow even the things I almost hate the most you make intriguing. If I could have tuned out the lessons and focused on the pictures, I definitely would have hated everything less!" Hilarious.

"What's yoga pants?"

Klaus looks at him, momentarily bewildered. “What is the point of reading about sex? Obviously you look at the pictures and it tells you everything you need to know. I mean, sure some of it you gotta learn from people who know what they’re doing already, but damn.”

They laugh. “Very tight but stretchy pants. I’ll look and see if I can find some.”

"Ugh," a groan. "Because monks always have to pervert everything. Imagining taking something as fun as sex and trying to make it pure and wholesome. Revolting."

He is so mental.

"They only write all that weird stuff because they have no fucking clue, they're too pathetic to actually try any of it themselves, so it's all pretty pointless." Does he even know if they have any male-male ones? He never paid that much attention. "Do you have a favorite position, or one you most want to try?"

Because this and the yoga pants is totally going to help him not need to escape and try said position almost 15 minutes into the trip, sure.

Klaus giggles softly at this. "It's funny to think of monks perverting anything, honestly." Cause it's like...weird to think of the religion as the perversion after everything. "Sex could be...uh...wholesome, I guess? If you want to make it cute and romantic?" A frown. "Any time I ever think about that, though, you make me too horny for romantic stuff."

Oops?

"I mean...uh...I dunno. I haven't really considered a favorite? Do you have a favorite or did you hate it too much?" A beat. "I'd have to see it again to know which one I wanted to try most, though."

But Klaus is definitely keeping an eye out for yoga pants or something similar anyway.

"Blech!" Nobunaga is a five year old masquerading as a horny old man, clearly. "Good!" a giant beam.

And then Nobunaga laughs even more. "I don't hate sex," obviously? Like he cannot go fifteen minutes without wanting to screw Klaus into the wall.

The IRL Tommy Bahamas has a dearth of yoga pants. Everything is super casual and for the beach.

"I just cannot think about a technical manual in the moment instead of just letting my instincts take over. Much like fighting. Even if I planned each feint in advance, when the time came, they would be useless. This is what I mean about monks who have no practical experience and spend their time uselessly pining instead of getting some. If they were actually having sex instead of over complicating it, they would know such things are not necessary, because even just the circumstances of each thing lead it to be very different. It's probably the whole forcing couples instead of love thing as well." An eyeroll. "Absolute over-complication."

And then a laugh. "I never knew I could meet a man who could make me hate it less though. I will remember this."

"If you hated sex, I'd probably think you were a masochist because you keep fucking me." Which he likes. So please don't stop that.

"So the monks don't have sex?" There's a small curious noise at that. "I mean, there's probably a lot of shit that people have written out of longing to do stuff. But I...do kind of eventually at some point want to be bent over one of these tables and fucked...maybe not on this expedition. Cause that's...like fucking hot. If you wanna leave some bruises on my hips, that would be...awesome, actually."

They grin widely. "Well, it's just for the pictures. The rest of it's whatever."

"Klaus..." A pained whine as Nobunaga has to stop moving for a little bit!

On the one hand, talking about the monks and their inability to fuck like normal humans, and what they do instead is a guaranteed turn off, but the instant Klaus mentions wanting to be bent over the nearby tables and getting bruises, Nobunaga completely loses it, trying REALLY HARD to think about how much he can make Ari wait, maybe text her -- DEEP BREATH.

Monks monks... gross. "Some of them have families, the monks." One step, two steps, trying to compose himself, okay. "But for the most part they're in denial about being human, and all 'sex is'--" his steps falter again. Talking about the monks makes him want to do everything they hate, it's a problem! "Clinging too hard to the mortal plane, and having fun and enjoying it is going to get you punished in your next life by being into a lower caste, this sort of thing. Kind of REALLY want to twist your arms around your back and make you want to scream my name loud enough so the whole group knows exactly why we're late now." HUFF.

Tsk... "What are they like in the future? The cults?"

Klaus looks incredibly innocent. It's believable right? Not totally incorrect. He's almost sorry. Almost.

"So they made a whole instructional thing on how to fuck...but enjoying fucking too much is gonna get you sent to hell?" Klaus lets out a sigh, rolling his eyes and making himself a little more comfortable. They are aware of the stilted-ish movement.

And the last thing he says makes them hot all over again. Damn. "I really need us both to remember that this is a bad idea because...we are supposed to be behaving and..." And he's already gotten off once, but Nobunaga didn't. Does that mean they should let him so he can at least feel less hot? God. No. They need to fucking behave. "If we have time, later..."

The cults? "Uh...I dunno? I don't do that much with the cults outside of my own???"

"The instant I see an opportunity I am going to make you weep begging for me so desperately. And I will bind up your mouth so no else can hear your screams of pleasure but me."

That'll work.

Okay. Focus?

Something. Monks. Cults. "Yeah they were all, oh if we focus on weird ways to want to fuck women, for the sake of making children, we won't want to fuck each other or boys. It doesn't work." Moving on... "How did you wind up with a cult anyway? On accident?" It was kind of how Pratt wound up in his, after all.

Oh no. Klaus makes a small whimper, face pressed against Nobunaga's shoulder. He wants that so bad.

Their brain is so derailed right now, but...yeah. Right. Focus. "Not fucking boys is still a problem in the future. At least for some of the priests." But not fucking each other??? "Do the monks fuck?" Klaus shrugs. "Uhh...I mean....I dunno. I guess it just sort of happened? Everyone in the 60s was doing it, so...you know..."

"They're not supposed to, because again, they're in denial about being human. But that just means they break under pressure and fuck around and get in trouble in a way that normal people don't." A weird note. "Everyone was making cults?" What??

"By fucking one another????" He just wants to make sure he's understanding fully. Klaus shrugs at the other question. "It was the in thing, I guess? But most of them were the fucky kinds you'd want to destroy."

"On the best of occasions. Other times it's worse. Not all are like that of course. I don't think Kennyo was, but I could be wrong." He doesn't know about Ranmaru, after all.

"'In thing.'" Nobunaga tilts his head, and then nods. "I see. I wonder what it would take to destroy them so completely they ceased for all of humanity. They exist even in Teyrey's time, or sector. Maybe this is the folly of my thinking. Instead of destroying them, I should try to think more about how to do them correctly? It is truly difficult. Tell me more about yours."

Sounds weird, but okay.

"I don't know what it would take," they say, thinking about it. "Gotta figure out how to make people not want to take advantage of others both emotionally and fiscally. I mean...I guess I didn't exactly not take money from the people in my cult. I kind of did. But I used to take money from everyone. Take things that could sell for money. Everything to get what I wanted. I was...uh...pretty selfish." Klaus frowns slightly. "I just wanted to...do what I wanted to do and I faked a lot of shit with Ben's help to get people to think I was something I wasn't. I used song lyrics to sound wiser than I was. I used all of that to make people be willing to be with me sexually even. So I guess it was a little fucky. In a way. But without like...religious shit."

It's at least honest, but they hope that it doesn't make Nobunaga think less of them now. "Everyone even got my hand tattoos to match me. And they refused to believe I was a fraud even when I told them I was. Stupid idiots."

"There is nothing you can create humans will not take advantage of," Nobuanga says as certain of this as anything. More certain of this than that the sun will rise. After all, Amaterasu might get fed up with humanity. Humanity will be evil. At least some of them, if ever given the slimmest chance to be.

Both eyebrows raise when Klaus confesses all the things he did as cult leader... and slowly he just laughs. "Okay, never tell Teyrey that. And if Hideyoshi comes? Him neither."

But he sets Klaus down, now that they're almost back, and gives him a hard loving kiss, hopefully to shock some of the fear out of Klaus before the others can hear much of this. "I love you, you absolute hot mess disaster of a human being." An affectionate nose rub! And just like that, Klaus goes back up on his shoulders for a carry, but Nobunaga walks a little slower, just in case the conversation stays a little heavy and private.

"Cultists are like that. As much as I despise Kennyo, and while he's a true believer in Buddhism-- TCH!" Nobunaga nearly spits the word there, "He had no faith in his own cult; the Ikkou Ikki. He didn't believe in all of it, just enough, and he was a fraud too, and said as much," an eyeroll. "I do not think he started calling me the Demon King of 6th Heaven though. I am not sure who did. He wanted peace between us, but he also wanted to let the monks continue to fleece the public. And the Ikkou Ikki refused to lay down their arms. We tried to broker peace talks --" An eyeroll and a headshake. "So many times. A dozen, perhaps more. Eventually we thought they were coming around, but at the last moment, they reversed position, and attacked. They were scared of sacrificing their reincarnated souls to the Demon King of 6th Heaven. Even when I told my own men not to even fight back, it was like the cultists all went berserk. Despite supposedly their cult leader; Kennyo, only wanting peace between us, the cultists all refused. Even cult leaders cannot truly control their members. It doesn't surprise me, Destiny's Children refused to believe you when you were honest. They never saw the real you, just their symbol of what they wanted you to be."

Nobunaga adjusts his grip enough to smack Klaus' ass!

"Never fear Lucky Four, I see you in ways you cannot look at yourself. If you get your hand tattoos back, I will get contrary ones. Instead of the same as yours, I will get yes and no on the tops of my hands. These have two purposes. 1, because you said it was not for the Beatles song, but mine will be, and 2, because then you can use them in sex when I am choking you and you can't speak." Isn't it good they're not back at camp yet?

A cheerful hum! "Would you be interested in doing a cult if you weren't the god or leader again? I don't mean as a cultist, or follower. I mean like a priest like Kennyo, but instead of Buddha, or yourself, you would be acting as -- tcha... how do the missionaries, Europeans, Westerners, Christians say --" He closes his eyes in thought, still carrying Klaus. "A shepherd. Did I ever tell you about sheep and wool? We don't have them in Hell. I want to pet a sheep. And improve on wool. But you would not be a real shepherd. You'd be a metaphorical one. Like John the Baptist. Ah, perhaps you don't know that reference either though. Basically instead of making a cult for yourself, doing it for someone else. A spiritual leader, for good, whatever you thought that might be."

Klaus is confused by the laughter. He was expecting disappointment or something else. Certainly not just a causal 'don't tell people about this'. The confusion is evident on their face as they're lowered down and kissed. They feel lucky for a moment, wanted. Loved. It's enough to make his eyes water, but by that point, he's been picked up again.

He tries to hide the sniffle, wiping at his eyes furiously. Whatever he did to deserve Nobunaga, he doesn't know, but...he's glad he did. But he's focusing on the words as well. The stuff about Kennyo and his cult. "Were you not always called that or was it just that Kennyo didn't call you that?" It sounds stupid that cultists were so stupid and easily stuck in their shit, but Klaus knows from experience that that's the way it works.

The smack to their ass is surprising in this moment, but it jostles them out of their negative thought process.

Klaus doesn't know how they can possibly love someone even more when it seems fucking impossible at this point, but somehow, Nobunaga always knows what to say to make his heart feel even more happy. Even more full. "You're so weird and so hot at the same time." Just to get him back, he's gonna bite his ear.

"No. I don't really think I want to deal with a cult again. I just kind of want to...I don't know, actually. I have no idea what I'd do, what I want to do. I'm not really the spiritual leader type. Not even for good. I'm just...I dunno. I've never had to think about what I'd be good at before and I'm not sure I'll ever know. Not sure there's actually anything."

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nsfw dododo

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