are you out there? can you hear this?

[not_the_last]

Who: Cassandra de Rolo & OTA
When: November
Where: Around the Serena Eterna
What: on all levels but physical/literal, shouting into the void
Warnings: Game-typical angst, canon-typical angst, others to be added as they come up

A. what's the future, who will choose it

She's ... anxious, she decides, is the right word. Anxious about the Voyager plan. What if it gets discovered and stopped, what if it proceeds as planned but fails to break out of the demiplane, what if it reaches the outer world and is discovered by something only interested in taking advantage of whatever it finds --

The anxiety never gets anywhere near the point of making her want to call a halt to it. Not this time.

Still, she does find herself wandering about near the signpost and its accompanying book, to see who's writing in it. Not that it makes any difference, but ... it's something she can keep an eye on.

B. you never know who's still awake

Cassandra is rarely if ever to be seen around the buffet these days. One might spot her in the kitchens, though, usually very late at night, usually making something involving potatoes and/or cheese. Sometimes, similarly late at night, she might carry a snack to eat elsewhere around the ship; usually more cheese, with crackers, or cured meat, or a little jar of jam or relish of some kind. Usually somewhere that doesn't attract a lot of people, as though reluctant to eat in company with anyone.

Are you up very late and avoiding company too? You might run into her.

C. play the madmen poets

She's aware that it's unwise, perhaps now more than ever, to do anything to shut out or dull her awareness of her surroundings. Nonetheless: it may also be something she needs now more than ever.

As a compromise, she's only using her music player when she's got a good view of the rest of her surroundings, or when she's otherwise fairly sure nothing can get close to her without her knowing. So 'while flying' is a good option, as far from the ship as she can get while still able to make it back before her wings fail; another is perched on a high roof or crows' nest, some spot she can only get to by flying. And occasionally, very occasionally, in the library while seated with her back to a wall

There's so much music in this little box, and she still hasn't heard all of it. This month she's working her way through the repertoire of a bard with a rough but compelling voice, and trying to make out what his verses are talking about. (You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows is possibly the first intelligible thing he's said in this song, and she still isn't sure what he means by it.)

D. wildcard

Comments

[mistertwister]

“Really now? Proper lady Cassandra, the bratty sister?” He turns his grin her way, puts his free hand on his chest in dramatic surprise. “My image of you is truly shattered. I’m shocked, frankly.”

He laughs, lightly. “Older or younger brother?”

[not_the_last]

"Older. The youngest before me -- I was the last of seven."

She maintains the smile, but it's gone a little pensive. "It's just me and Percy now."

[mistertwister]

"That's... hard." He regrets saying it immediately, so he tries to save it. "I could barely handle the one older brother. Six sounds like a lot."

He starts to lower himself to the floor, his hand never leaving hers. "That was the hardest part of seein' him last month. Realizin' I'm older than he was."

[not_the_last]

When she realizes what he's doing, she drops down next to him, cross-legged under her skirts. "It was a lot. Brothers and sisters. I'm ... I've passed all their ages now except Julius, he was the oldest. Almost twenty-two."

She leans her head back and a little sideways, against the cabinets lining the counter.

[mistertwister]

Okie nods along as he listens. A nervous laugh creaks out of him, before he tries to cut it off.

"Sorry, sorry, I just- I thought this is the worst I've ever felt about beating him at something, it shouldn't be funny."

[not_the_last]

A choked laugh sputters out of her as well, too quickly to suppress.

"Oh," she manages, "no, it shouldn't be but it absolutely is, don't be sorry."

[mistertwister]

He laughs with her, feeling guilty and absurd and connected and safe. Everything, in a moment. And it clicks.

"I don't know when it happened, but I think you're my best friend."

[not_the_last]

Her breath snags on something mid-laughter, and she has to gulp back some dreadful undignified sound in her throat before it comes out.

"I ... don't think I've ever had a best friend before. Or been anyone else's."

[mistertwister]

"That's a shame. You deserve one, an' you're more than good enough to be one." A squeeze of her hand.

"Hey, you remember a couple months back, up on the sports deck? Would you be- Can I ask- Is it okay if you're my someone else?"

[not_the_last]

I figured everyone had someone else, she remembers him saying on that day, unhappy and resigned; and herself, on a different day, pouring out her shame to Security like a hurt child, I just want to come first for someone.

Her heart seems to swell in her chest, to glow like a little coal of warmth.

"And -- would you be mine, then?"

[mistertwister]

Just over a year ago, he was convinced it would be impossible for him to be close with someone else. That he'd burned every bridge and everything he'd need to build anything new. But he has friends here. And family. People he loves.

In this moment, he'd follow her anywhere.

"I'd be honored, Cass."