come_sailaway | [open] dreams of you all through my head

Who: Vance Hopper & (mostly) ota
What: Fixing Judith and generally being around
When: Early November
Where: all around
Warnings: eventual discussion of child torture/murder

1 / it's all right now (the drunken sailor)

[ Before the party, Vance was gifted with the mangled remains of Fio's teddy bear, Judith. One of the ghosts did it, and he feels kind of silly doing something so sentimental for a teddy bear, but he knows it's because the ghost was avenging him for Judith's previous attack. So, in a way, he feels responsible.

He chose The Drunken Sailor because it's where Knife Club is held, and also because he thinks Fio is unlikely to wander in and see Judith before it's all fixed up. There's some threads in all different colors set out and everyone is encouraged to take a different one and fix the bear a little bit at a time. That way, Fio will know how many different people all came together for her.

Vance is sitting at the table with a bit of read thread, starting to sew the arm back on. He isn't very good at it, but this is a group effort anyway. ]

[ ooc note: If they know Vance, assume your character got a text and was invited. If they don't know Vance and you want to participate, feel free to handwave that someone invited them. ]

2 / but don't give yourself away

[ Sometime after fixing Judith, Vance can be found all around the ship. He's not as devastated as he was in the aftermath of the party, but he's not entirely back to normal, either. He's...somewhere in between.

If someone saw him take down not-Friday, he's willing to talk about it. He also wants to catch up with anyone he knows who was possessed and isn't anymore.

Once in a while, too, he lifts up the corner of his white tank top and (for the first time since he's been here) takes an actual look at the knife-wound scars that were left behind. He's hated those scars since the first time he saw them and has done whatever it takes to keep them covered. After seeing Judith - all full of stitches but still wanted and still okay - he thinks, finally, that they might not be so hideous after all. ]

3 / it's only teenage wasteland (closed to clarke)

[ As much as he tries to play the tough guy, the last month weighed on him something fierce and he feels like he's about to burst if he doesn't get some of his feelings out into the world. Clarke's been trying to nudge him into sharing a little ever since they went to beach, so he just lets it slip. ]

I lied. I am scared. Of a lot of things. [ About ending up like the ghosts here and being sent to the Nothing, yes, but also of the monsters from his past even if they aren't here anymore. ]

wildcard

[ surprise me. I'm at callico or chimera#5926 if you want to plot. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The bad shit already happened in my life. I wasn't okay long before I got here. There's pieces of me that will never go back together the same way again. I'm not even sure who I used to be, to go back to.

[she brushes her thumb over the bear's nose, frowning] But that's what I'm used to, Vance. My body constantly rips itself apart, atom by atom, and stitches back together. I was made broken.

I don't think I'm cut out for that.

[ He's having a hard enough time fathoming how he'll put himself back together with what he has right now. The future looms over him like a dark cloud. If this is how messed up he is after one death, what'll he be like after two? More?

A long sigh. ]

Guess I'm not as tough as I thought I was.

... There's different ways to be tough. We don't all have the same strengths, Vance. That's why we need each other. And you don't have to actively fight back every second to prove that you haven't given up. Otherwise you're just wasting your energy.

I think you're lucky to be in this group. [she finish stitching up the ear, checks to make sure the stitches are secure, and then passes the bear back over.]

And we're lucky to have you. Thanks for doing this, by the way.

You're welcome. I guess.

[ He's not so sure that he's lucky. On one hand, he has made friends here better than he ever had back home. On the other hand, isn't that part of the torture, in the end? Watching all the people you care about get used up and sent to nothing?

An awful choice between spending this life alone or being happy now but even more miserable in the end is all that he sees. ] Will you still think you're lucky to have me if I never stop fighting the captain?

Fio will be glad. To have her back, safely. And to see how much care was put into repairing her.

[any amount of time she has now, is more than she ever believed she'd get. she's not naive, knows what they're all facing if they fail.]

Never said you need to stop fighting him. It's good not to give up. No matter how impossible.

Have you ever tried speaking with him?

At the end of the party, yeah. He was a dick, but I managed to get away without a scratch.

[ A point of pride, because he assumes the captain would have hurt him if he would've stuck around to find out. ]

He shot me dead on my birthday.

[totally serious]

And then killed me again by daring me to kiss the man I like. Very embarrassing.

Actually I don't think he physically hurts much of anyone directly. [other than what she knows happened with Darcy] Seems to prefer what we do to ourselves and each other.

I'd respect him more if he just did it himself instead of setting us against each other.

[ Not that he wants the captain to attack him, but he has no patience for this "it's your fault, actually" game. If you want to be a bastard and a bully, just own it! Vance does. ]

I don't think we'd have much to talk about, anyway. I don't like him, he doesn't give a fuck, that's that.

Eh. I have no interest in being a passive victim. Besides. It's not about what we want, is it. And I don't think he's looking for our respect.

I don't know. I've talked to him about all sorts of things.

I don't wanna be any kind of victim. [ But he doesn't feel like he has much of a choice here. ]

Why do you want to talk to him?

... Because I don't want to be a victim either. [shrug] And everyone needs someone to talk to. Like when you bullied Fio. I could have come and buried you so deep in this fake ocean that even Friday couldn't fish you back out. But instead I sent Skulduggery. Because he's better with troubled teens.

You'd have killed me over the bear but you wouldn't kill the captain over the...[ vague hand gestures ] everything?

[ Skeptical look. ]

[smiles] Nobody ever claimed I was sane.

If I believed that was the right thing to do. I would have come for you. But I didn't, so give me some credit.

And I don't think killing the Captain is the solution to any of our problems either. If it were even possible. I'm certainly not powerful enough to do so.

I think a lot of us could get better at fighting faster than we could get better at...I dunno. Helping and shit.

[ He certainly thinks it'd be easier to become a master fighter than to have one nice and therapeutic conversation. ]

Yeah? And how many punches did you throw to fix up Judith?

[ A groan. ] That's different. I'm not doing it to be nice or whatever.

[ He may have put a lot of thought into the colors of the threads and getting everyone to help out but it is definitely NOT because he's nice. He is all mean all the way down. ]

[mmhm, sure kid.] Wasn't accusing you of being nice. I'm saying you identified a problem, and then chose a solution that didn't include any violence. And that the situation is overall better for that. Wouldn't you agree?

I guess. But only because you can't fix things by punching them.

[ Local boy who is helping gets defensive when accused of being helpful. ]

That's very good advice. I'll have to remember it.

[open] dreams of you all through my head

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