To infinity...and beyond? (Semi-open)

[astrogator]

Who: Ari Tayrey + willing CR + anyone else who wants in
What: Mini-plot: an expedition to determine what kind of infinite this store really is
When: 25-29??? November
Where: The Infinite Tommy Bahama
Warnings: None yet
Notes: First prompt is a text message sent to Ari's friendly-ish CR - replies are welcome even from people who don't want to take part! Other prompts are open but please note that participating characters will potentially be in the store for up to 4/5 days. Party post rules are fine, start your own toplevels and tag people other than Ari if you like. ((I checked with our lovely mod about what would happen if they tried this!))



1. Texting

I have a plan. I want to see just how infinite this Tommy Bahama is. Multi-day expedition for data collection? It could be informative. Maybe fun, too. Interested in coming along?

- Tayrey

2. Preparing

Even people who don't know Ari well may notice that something is up. It's not often that people walk into Tommy Bahama wearing backpacks full of supplies. There's some last-minute preparation going on here, as well as a last-minute opportunity to join the expedition. Expect Ari to want to check and make sure everyone has all the essentials with them. She's used to preparing for trips to uninhabited and potentially hostile planets, and it shows. Don't mind the fussing. She wouldn't do it if she didn't care.

3. Exploring

Despite all the promises, the expedition is - well, boring might be an accurate description, unless you're really invested in the outcome. There's a lot of walking past the same racks of clothes, over and over and over. Infinite length doesn't mean infinite variety.

Ari's fascinated, and she'll be chattering about loop programming to anyone who will listen, and attempting to measure the distance between one rack of garishly-patterned bikinis and the next iteration of that very same rack. She'll encourage tests, too - what happens if you completely destroy one of the displays? Is the destruction repeated? (Spoiler alert: no, it's not that kind of loop, but let's try it a few times anyway and make sure?)

Maybe you give up and head back after a few hours. Maybe you have a run-in with the Bahamanal. Maybe you join in with Ari's ridiculous spacer song singalong - she is in a good mood. It's Tommy Bahama, anything could happen.

4. Relaxing

Ari pushes the pace on the first day, because it comes naturally to do so, and possibly, subconsciously, to weed out anyone who isn't serious about this and is going to cause them problems once they're a long way in. Eventually, though, it's time to stop for the night. There's not a campfire, but it's a fine social occasion just the same. Ari's brought some Serena Eterna branded playing cards, and she's up for a little gambling. Maybe you have some other entertainment ideas. Don't stay up too long, though - see if you can't make a nice nest of clothes to bed down in. There's plenty of walking to do tomorrow.

5. Emerging

Plenty of data has been collected about the repeating displays, but there's no end in sight to this store. Is it really infinite? If there's a way to answer that question, this expedition won't do it. It's over two days in when the group realises that they're over halfway through the supplies they brought. Time to turn around, whether that leaves you disappointed or delighted.

Unfortunately, there are no tricks of perception or proportion here. It'll take just as long to walk out as it did to walk in. Look on the bright side, at least you're carrying less weight? Finally, on the fifth day, the intrepid explorers who stayed the distance catch sight of the store entrance up ahead. Who saw it first?

6. Wildcard

Anything else you want to do! (Just let me know if I need to add warnings to the header :) )

Comments

THIRTY MORE MINUTES OF THIS

[crushed_pearls]

Was that a powerful enough request to stop? No; the ancient law dictates they must suffer further.

"...having solved the Lament Door, our man, weary, deep into the monastery, is confronted with a door made of layered cheese sandwiches..."

[not_the_last]

By now Cassandra has long since dissolved into laughter, excused herself to eat something, returned, and dissolved into laughter again to find it still going.

"Has no one insisted you skip to the end yet?"

[konpeito_aji]

"I want to see how long it takes to get a konpeito door. Or how many varieties there are. Or if she'll get bored and run out."

He's not a merciful demon king.

[astrogator]

[Ari's only half-listening now, but her head turns at the mention of cheese sandwiches.]

Don't tell me. he had to eat his way through.

[She smirks.]

Can I guess the ending? There's a door made of... antimatter, or something, and he just dies?

End of joke, open season

[crushed_pearls]

"Alright, alright, the people have spoken," Erin concedes. "Our man, after his many, many door-based tribulations, unlocks the final door into the sacred chamber. There he sees the thing that monks are protecting, the most amazing thing in the world..."

"...But I can't tell you what it is, because you're not monks."

[konpeito_aji]

Nobunaga just looks at Teyrey.

Gets up.

Throws his hands up in the air

"I fucking hate monks."

He's okay.

"Do cult leaders count? Klaus is a cult leader."

Speaking of which, he's grabbing his partner and about to commit some violence, but he will keep it blissfully PG DESPITE THE CARD GAME CONVERSATION until they are out of earshot at least.

Wave to the nice people Klaus.

[astrogator]

[Ari Tayrey, meanwhile, is just staring at Erin. Really? Really?]

Monks are the very worst. [She agrees with Nobunaga, but as soon as he gets up and grabs Klaus, she can't help it. Her hands go up to cover her face, but they're not hiding her laughter at all.]

Well played, Peters! Very well played! [More laughter.] But something doesn't add up... unless you are a monk?

[crushed_pearls]

"I haven't quite caught religion yet," Erin admits, grinning back. "This joke is from home, and to tell it properly you need a captive audience because otherwise people of sense leave. My dad got me with it on a long family trip to the Grand Canyon but any long haul will do. Long car rides, sailing on a ship," she gestures to the store, "a hike..."

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis luckily comes in at the very end, sword on her hip as always.

"Sounds like I missed quite the tale. How long were you leading them on?"

Religion isn't her forte either, but some here have very strong beliefs, be them moral or religious. Some have great confidence in their systems of government too, if only they had more confidence in each other. Nonetheless, Nobunaga had asked her come, so here she is, quite late and without Starbucks.

[crushed_pearls]

"Not as long as I wanted to," Erin admits, still grinning with entirely too much self-satisfaction. "But I do try to make a point of going for my record every time I tell it again."

[not_the_last]

"Terrible," says Cassandra, still half-laughing, and with complete fondness.

[ss_buttcrack]

He's heard a version of this before, so he simply sits with his lips tight together so he won't ruin the punchline. But, damn, Erin kept it going longer than he's ever heard before. Give that woman a medal.

"You know, I knew where this was headed and even I'm mad about it now." Not really, judging by the giant grin on his face.

"I want a damn cheese sandwich."

[crushed_pearls]

"Oh don't worry Crichton, there's gotta be at least one you've managed to miss," Erin promises. "...You might know the one about the three knights in a land dispute, you don't go into space without knowing a whole lot of math, but it's another of my favorites."

late, but

[theotherright]

Arthur was zoning in and out of the story, drawn back any time he wondered when Erin was going to run out of imaginary door materials. So when the punchline finally hits, it takes him a second to consciously realise that 1) the joke's over and 2) he's been fucking had, lads.

There is nothing for it but to wheeze laughter, and then to mutter "god damn it" while grinning. He really should have seen that coming.

Now he chips in: "I'd ask about the three knights in the land dispute, but I'm afraid you'd still be telling it come tomorrow morning."

[crushed_pearls]

"What if I can promise a completely different species of outrage?" Erin tempts.

[theotherright]

"You'd have my interest..."

He's so easy to tempt!

No One Stopped Her So The Suffering Continues

[crushed_pearls]

Erin rubs her hands together, looks at her audience, and begins:

"So we find ourselves looking at the domains of three storied knights, neighbors with one another, in dispute over a piece of land between their domains. Now, two of these knights reach a compromise they consider just and fair, but the third is a stubborn old witch-hunter from a line of the same, a man so set in his ways that his heraldry is simply a cauldron swinging from a noose. But though he's stubborn and insistent on not making a compromise, all three agree that going to war would be silly and wasteful and evil, and so they set terms for a duel on neutral ground. Two on one, each knight representing his position, you see, and since they're meeting up in person anyway they may as well make a party of it."

Erin falls into an easy storytelling cadence, fully invested in her own tale and leaning in towards anyone who has, unwisely, chosen to listen.

"The knights meet up, pitch their tents, and set up the dueling ground, but unfortunately they end up staying up that night, drinking and talking about old times, old fights, friends gone by and such, and so it is that at the appointed time of the duel all three men are still fast asleep. Unable to rouse their masters, the squires of our storied knights decide they can fight in their stead, two on one, just as agreed."

She pauses for a moment, both to gauge reactions and because it'll make getting to the punchline better.

he enjoys the pain

[ss_buttcrack]

"Oh, ooooh," he'd said as she introduced the joke. Yeah, you don't get an advanced degree in physics without someone having told this joke to you.

He glances aside at Arthur, wondering if at the end of this he'll actually understand the punch line. How much math education did they have in those days? Oh well, he can explain it later if he needs to.

For now, he's just putting a hand over his mouth to stifle himself so he doesn't ruin it early.

[astrogator]

[Ari does not know any of these stories, but the one about the monk was so ridiculous that she has to listen to this one. Unfortunately, she lacks all required context.]

A knight is a sort of Earth soldier, yes? Who rides a horse? Like a samurai? What is a squire?

[theotherright]

Arthur's had enough maths education to be handy with a slide rule, though these days that's mostly as a bludgeoning weapon.

Anyway, he's leaning towards Erin for this one, very focused and very determined to get to the punchline before she does this time. Okay. Right. Two knights on one, two squires on one, land dispute. Got it.

Aside, to Ari: "Yes, a-a-- well, there's more detail to it, but more or less a soldier who fights with sword from a horse. And a squire is a knight's sort of-- well, he's training to become a knight, and in the meantime he's a knight's servant."

[astrogator]

[Strangely enough, Ari's also not bad with a slide rule. Last resort emergency means of limping home in the right direction if all the computers go down. She's never tried using one as a weapon, though.]

Oh! Now I see. Thank you. So the squire is a trainee, and a servant, and in this case the knight's stand-in, for the duel. [She nods. That seems enough for understanding the story, hopefully.]

[theotherright]

"Yes, exactly," says Arthur, pleased. And then, because Ari has foolishly shown the slightest hint of interest in a thing he knows, he adds: "Usually they would have been the ones dressing their knights, a-and looking after the armour and everything. Armour was a bit of a team effort to put on in those days, so," dryly, "I assume we'll have a long aside about how they manage to get into theirs."

(Say that you used to go on pre-wikipedia wikipedia binges without saying that you used to go on pre-wikipedia wikipedia binges.)

[astrogator]

[Fortunately for Arthur, if not for everyone else, Ari soaks up knowledge if she's given the slightest reason to care about it. It's one of the reasons she gets on so well with Nobunaga.]

I can picture that. It'd be like having to deal with those tricky sleeve buttons, but worse. [She smirks, and lowers her voice.] We're definitely getting a piece-by-piece description of the armor, but at least there can't be as many pieces as doors.

[theotherright]

Arthur lowers his voice as well, conspiratorially, with a small smirk of his own.

"Oh? You don't think there'll be a clockwork piece of armour, and a flaming piece of armour, and a cheese sandwich piece of armour, and a wooden piece of armour, and a...?"

Stop him!

[astrogator]

[She'll stop him. By making it worse.]

...golden piece of armor, and an iced piece of armor, and a hyperdimensional piece of armor...

[Maybe she'd have carried on, but Ari Tayrey is overtaken by a little fit of giggles that she turns swiftly into a cough.]