[Closed] If I'm a sinner

[maximumcake]

Who: Max Maximum, Murderbot (I.E. Security), Valdis, potentially a doctor
What: Backdated aftermath of Max playing with a cougar [NSFW!]
When: Backdated to.... whenever this was in January
Where: Max's shared cabin + library
Warnings: NSFW, discussion of sexual topics, violent kinks, blood, violence, biting, injury--ya boy's a mess



[Closed to Murderbot]

Once he's finally strong and coherent enough to stand and dress himself, he attempts to do so without getting too much blood on his clothes. That's tricky, especially with a significant wound on the back of his neck. It should probably worry him how numb to it he feels, but he can't summon much in the way of regret. That mark is gone. His master's mark. It's... going to hurt later he's sure. He can worry about it then. For now, he needs to sneak back to the cabin and clean himself up in more ways than one. His pants and suit jacket should conceal most of it until he can get showered. That's what he's counting on as he swiftly, if tenderly, walks out of the Tommy Bahama and back to his cabin. There's just one problem with that plan... he hasn't noticed the drone that's tailing him. He thinks he's gotten away with it right up until he opens his cabin door to step inside.


[Closed to Valdis]

He's trying to lay low while his love bites heal. Which means he hasn't been going to his usual places in the morning. Working out on sore muscles with fatigue from blood loss is a bad idea, he knows that much. And he can't exactly go swimming with that big bandage on the back of his neck, either. He tried to sleep in again but he couldn't keep himself in bed past seven. He needs something to do, so he wanders to the library, hoping to find it quiet in the morning so he can just pick a corner and skim through something in peace. Unfortunately, he doesn't realize that when he bends his head forward to read, it causes that bandage on the back of his neck to stick out from the collar of his shirt enough for anyone to see.

Comments

[serialskiller]

It feels Max shiver and moves closer, releasing his arm and staying warm, warmer.

It could speak, but it doesn't want to distract Watson.

It could speak, but it wants to allow Max time to process.

It could speak, but nothing seems right.

It could speak, but it doesn't know what to say.

It can't speak.

It purrs.

It purrs like a cat who knows its human is sick or hurt or upset, because its human is hurt and upset and perhaps sick as well, a sickness of the soul, of the heart and of the mind. It's sure that isn't enough, but that's what it has in this moment.

[lightconductor]

Watson glances up at the purring, momentarily surprised, momentarily unable to place the source of that sound or explain it; he stares at Security, but ultimately he has to admit that this is not the strangest thing he's ever seen. He also, just a little, feels as though he's intruding on something between the two of them.

He ties off and cuts the thread, and begins to apply a dressing.

"There. I think that will heal quite well, if I do say so myself." His voice is soft, gentle. "No harm to your good looks today. We'll get you cleaned up the rest of the way, and you can settle in to heal."

[maximumcake]

Max lets out a soft sound caught halfway between a laugh and sob when he hears that wonderful purring. His eyes crinkle with a grateful smile. Security... it chose its name well. Max settles into a comfortable silence until Watson finishes up and bandages him.

"Thank you," he says, turning his head so he can look at Watson. "I'm sorry for making you have to come take care of me."

[serialskiller]

"Doctor Watson, is there anything I need to know about tending to the wounds as they heal?" Because it intends to be available for that. No, not just available--present and actively involved. It's also not rushing to get up.

[lightconductor]

"Oh, don't be sorry," Watson gently chides Max. "This is what I do. I put people back together. I'm just glad to be of use."

As he starts dabbing antiseptic on the less serious wounds, he answers Security's question. And oh, is he glad that Max will have someone at hand, willing and able to help. "Keep the dressing dry and clean for a few days. If it becomes soiled, change it; I'll leave some extras for you. If there are signs of infection -- unusual heat or pain at the site, fever, odour -- then fetch me immediately. I trust your judgement, but you know where I am if you have questions, or just want a second opinion."

[maximumcake]

"Yeah... I know..." sheepish and guilty still.

He shivers slightly from the touch of antiseptics to those other various bite indents and claw marks, but only slightly. Security's heat and closeness is keeping him very comfortable.

"Pratt told me wounds don't really get infected here, though. That's why his finger is okay." Sure hope you knew about that already.

[serialskiller]

Security pulls away, only long enough to grab the weighted blanket and pull it over itself and Max. "Even if Pratt's finger is fine, I'm going to keep checking on you, and you're not leaving the cabin for the rest of the day."

[lightconductor]

"Hmph. I don't trust this place to always be antiseptic. I won't have a patient of mine getting an infection due to my negligence."

So he knows, he just... doesn't entirely believe. Wounds fester; it's a thing he knows down to his soul. He can't take it on faith alone that they won't. "Even if infection is impossible, I think it best you take it easy. Try to avoid turning your neck too far, or too quickly." Watson smiles, a faint warning in his face. "So no... athletics, shall we say."

[maximumcake]

"Fiiiine," he burrows in under that beloved weighted blanket, taking in the sweet flavor of lavender as he sucks a spiteful breath through his teeth. Both of them fussing like this is enough to make him want to hide in bed forever so... mission accomplished, Security. He doesn't even feel like getting up to put pants on first. It's naked time now.

"I'll lay off my routine until it's healed. I know the drill." No swimming. No weight lifting for a while, probably. No interfacing. He's going to be so restless.

"Thank you for everything."

[serialskiller]

“Doctor Watson, I have it from here.” There is still more of a talk to be had between the roommates. “Thank you for coming, though.”

[lightconductor]

There's something almost funny about being shooed from a sickroom by someone who he taught. But then, sometimes you turn things over to the nurse. "I leave him in your capable hands, then," Watson says, turning to gather up his supplies. "Here's the dressings. And don't hesitate to call me back."

[maximumcake]

Oh no. Max thinks he knows the tone of voice it's using. What are the chances he can get away with pretending to be asleep already? Probably about as good as his chances of sneaking home unnoticed were.

He gingerly curls himself into a loose ball and braces for a lecture he knows he's earned. It would be silly for him to try to keep Watson from leaving yet just to spare himself from it, right? Yeah...

[serialskiller]

Security waits until the door is closed. Lets out a heavy breath.

“Are you scared of me, Max? It feels like you’re cowering, and I can’t think of a reason you would have to fear me, in this moment.”

[maximumcake]

"No," Max croaks. "I'm not scared of you I'm just... ashamed of myself. And maybe I'm... scared you think less of me now."

[serialskiller]

"Ashamed. Why that?"

The rest can wait, it wants to actually understand where Max's head is at. Its arm curls over and around Max so its hand can rest, palm-flat, against his chest, right over his naked heart, feeling it pound.

[maximumcake]

"Because normal people aren't supposed to like getting hurt like this so much." Watson's reaction did a lot to drive that point home, as much as the doctor was trying to be non-judgmental.

His heart flutters against that touch. He craves this softness just as much as he craves the pain, each in unique ways. He knows why he's like this, if he really searches his soul for the answer, but it's nothing anyone would want to hear--least of all Security, he thinks.

[serialskiller]

"This is not a ship full of 'normal people'."

It lets that statement hang in the air for a moment, before continuing.

"For you, getting hurt means feeling something. You're scared when it's quiet and lonely and numb. Because that's when you get deep in your head. The thoughts running round, loud and sharp. When your mind is in your body completely, it's not trapped within itself."

[maximumcake]

"Yes," he gasps out. How does it know? No, that's... that's the point. The port on its neck. They are so, so similar. So painfully similar.

"When I saw the sign I just wanted something distracting. Just for a little while. I didn't think about after I... I didn't think." He didn't want to think.

"I had my knife out. I thought I would fight back but..." He swallows hard against a new and frightening realization that threatens to choke him.

"For so fucking long, I've been told there's an enemy out there waiting for me. People who want to kill me. Then I came face to face with him and I... I didn't feel like fighting anymore."

[serialskiller]

"There's a peace that washes over you, when you know it's the end and you don't have any choices left."

Those words are so, so very quiet. It's remembering back before the ship, on a hopper with the last group of people who it could have called its crew.

[maximumcake]

"Yeah I... noticed that." He reaches to his own chest and puts his hand over Security's. It's speaking from experience, he knows that. He can feel his heart breaking all over again.

"After I decided I probably wasn't going to survive it I... it stopped being scary. But then, in the end, Siffleur decided to spare me after all. He called me brave. I think when he saw my brand something changed. He hated it. After I told him what it meant, he said he wanted to rip it off of me. When he said that I realized I wanted that too."

[serialskiller]

"Next time consider having it surgically removed, or something." Its upper leg curls over Max's ankles, tucking to help keep his feet warm. "But I understand. I scratched out the logo of the company that made me, on my armor."

It is lucky, not to be a visibly branded product, except for everything about how it's built, how it 'naturally' moves and speaks and acts. Except...after its time learning to pretend to be human on the Asshole Research Transport Perihelion and almost, so very nearly a year here, no one would immediately recognize Security as a company SecUnit. It eats, it sleeps, it purrs. It wears colorful sweatshirts. It attempts to make art.

And it loves.

[maximumcake]

"I'll try to remember for next time," he says through pursed lips. He would shake his head if he wasn't explicitly told not to do that. See, he can be a good patient.

Max doesn't resist having his legs captured, his toes are kind of cold, actually. That's nice. Astonishing, too, how many ways Security has been willing to comfort him physically considering how little it likes touch. His chest swells with that realization, and more tears threaten to spill over but not out of pain this time. He doesn't dare draw attention to any of it for fear it might end.

Instead, he asks, "Is that the only place the company... branded you?"

[serialskiller]

"They built me from the ground up. Cloned human tissue, fabricated inorganic parts, coding in their favored programming language. The governor module. The data port. Even if it's not as literal as your master's mark, every bit of me is branded. And yet...there is no one here who knew what a SecUnit was before meeting me. They see everything I am as a function of my self, instead of how I was created. And my time here on this ship has changed me in many ways--some physical, some not. I received a haircut, last month. A deliberate change to my body, because I wanted to. It's...it hasn't been easy, any of it."

A pause. A smile heard instead of seen.

"It has been worth it."

[maximumcake]

"I like the way you've changed yourself." He presses down on the hand over his heart. "I like it even better that you like it. It gives me... hope." Hope that he can do the same. That it's going to be worth it, all this pain and confusion. He doesn't have to do it alone. He isn't alone anymore.

"I wasn't built the way you were but I... the way I look now is my master's doing. He shaped me, trained me. I used to be... someone else. I had a different name. I had a different life. I had a dad and a sister. It all got taken away from me."

[serialskiller]

"I knew that you were someone who had been shaped. That was...unfortunately very obvious. Especially to someone else who's been there."

Security laces its fingers with Max's.

"When I first got here, it kept hitting me in the face, that there were people who could do this sort of thing to other people. To those who had been people to begin with. Because of course something like me didn't count, I wasn't human so of course I didn't get treated like a person. But this sort of..." Call it what it is, for once "...exploitation is wrong, regardless of who it's done to."