AUGUST EVENT: MEDIEVAL LAND FUN-TIME WORLD

[sailmods]

[no one is manning the metal detector; Friday isn’t anywhere near it. technically, this means you could smuggle whatever you want into the excursion. but, Friday would be sad if she found out, so is it really worth it?

they pass through the metal detector to a splitting headache, a new set of medieval-inspired clothes, and a clearing in a dense forest, filled with the large tents and arenas of a European tournament grounds.

from the woods comes a man sitting on a mostly skeletal giant stag: unlike the rest of the animals, this one still has some skin left hanging on its bones, though it’s ragged and moth-bitten, hardly more than leather. the man himself is large, tall and broad, with more fat than muscle and shocks of gray in his black hair and beard. two faceless drones, black haired and dressed as pages despite being clearly older men, stand on either side of him.]

Not much to look at, are they? [the drones do not respond. his booming voice then turns onto whatever crowd has arrived first thing in the morning.] Might as well save myself the effort of the usual speech: you lot know why you’re here, and what you’re going to do. Simple as that. Not even allowed to take any quarries…

[he kicks the ribs of the stag, which turns and begins to trot back to the grounds. he doesn’t even turn over his shoulder as he continues to shout at them.]

King Robert Baratheon welcomes you to Stag’s Mire! Glory awaits you - if you’ve got the guts to take it!

[the pages stand in silence for a few moments more, faces trained on the newcomers, before they too turn to chase after their master.]

Comments

[takethatnature]

Wilson's bruised, he's battered, he's struggling to concentrate on what's in front of him instead of spacing out or jumping at shadows, and most of all he's not having fun anymore. He just has to die once and then he can leave, right? Time to be obnoxious. He lunges at the nearest person with his ham bat, aiming to rattle their brains with the hock of meat.

and now to do the bashies

[busball]

Klaus is also looking to get out more so than stay in. The game was more fun when it was all chaos and none murder. But they knew what they'd signed up for at the same time. They'd just assumed they would have died first. Somehow dying seems way easier than killing. Weird how that happens.

So when they were hit suddenly, they were jerked out of their thoughts with a lot of pain. "Owwwwwww. Jeez!"

get hambatted idiot

[takethatnature]

"Go for the eyes!" Wilson yells, apparently to himself and with no regard to the lack of eye-stabby protrusions on his weapon, as he winds up to hit Klaus with the heavy hock of meat a second time.

[busball]

Klaus just curls up because what is happening right now? "Why can't you just stab me to death with my husband's sword instead?" They mean to shout it, but it comes out as more of a soft plea. Because being bludgeoned to death has to be worse than vehicular manslaughter. And they have a whole murder sword with them right now.

[takethatnature]

Even over the sounds of yelling and swording all around them, Wilson manages to pick out what Klaus said, and that plus the realisation that he recognises this guy is enough that he whiffs the blow. Klaus wandered into the Constant once, somehow, and said hello to Wilson and Webber and Chester before vanishing again. He didn't know they were married. What is he doing?

"Give me the sword, then!" Wilson waves his arms in frustration, then stows the ham bat out of sight and grabs for Klaus's weapon. "I wanted you to stab me!"

[busball]

Klaus looks up in confusion. "What?" Were they both just trying to get out? But still, they hold out the sword. "I don't think we can kill each other but maybe if you stab me, I can stab you before I die?"

> Show them your stabs

[takethatnature]

Wilson takes the sword from their hand. "You can take a stab at it."

It occurs to him after he says it that that was the same pun Maxwell used when they signed up. Something complicated and painful crosses his face, and then he stabs the katana upwards through Klaus's midsection. Easier than trying not to hit a rib through the chest, especially since Klaus is so much taller than him.

[busball]

There's a wince at that, as the fall to their knees from the pain of it. "This is like the harpoon and the samurai at the same time. But somehow worse." Not really that much worse, though. They make a groaning noise as they try to pull it out of their stomach to keep up their end up the deal. Kill each other, but it's kind of painful just moving the sword at this point and they hadn't actually accounted for that. "Good thing I don't care about this shirt, huh?" There's a soft, hysterical sort of laugh before another cough. This time blood comes up.

It's terrible, really. The world is getting dizzy and blurry. "I think I'm not going to hold up my part of the deal. Sorry." He falls forward first, grunting at the feeling of the sword going further in before he flops over to the side, eyes closing. At least he won't lose the sword this way.

[takethatnature]

Wilson loses his grip on the sword as Klaus drops.

"Uh. That's fine, don't worry about it," he babbles as they slip away, wondering if he should yank the sword out himself. Maybe not. It doesn't seem like Klaus needs any more help to bleed out. There's blood all over. What did he mean about the harpoon and the samurai? Why is he thinking about this when there's someone bleeding to death at his feet? There's blood everywhere. He could have sworn people didn't bleed this much when they died in the Constant.