10th Contraption: Mawwiage

[pineapplesalmon]

Who: John Watson, Johnny Summer, and César Salazar with Rich Goranski, Fio, and Honoria Crabb AND YOU Oh god why are weddings like this
What: The throuple getting married by... the Captain?!
When: December 11th at 7pm
Where: John's
Warnings: I believe in us! But for now, nothing.


SEATING

John's has been transformed, the seating up front rearranged in rows towards the center dias with an aisle down the middle, the piano moved off to one side. The buffet for later can be seen off to the other. Decorations taken from Spirit Halloween appear here and there–flowers taken from cavalera flower crowns, sun and moon candlestick holders from the tarot collection, festively colored tablecloths draped down the walls like curtains or banners. A sign near the entrance says "seat yourself", although the front row on one side is reserved with a ribbon across the backs.

What can't be seen is who is officiating. Or the husbands, but at least that part makes sense. The dais is empty.


THE CEREMONY

As one of the few traditions in this wedding, music announces the start of the ceremony. Rich strolls in first, trying to look professional even if he’s clearly shaking a bit as he holds the small pillow with the rings laid on it. At least he’s dressed quite smartly, Johnny ensuring his red suit is wrinkle free and his cuff links are set in place. Fio, in a winged black dress and flowery headdress, follows after the ring bearer, adorning the path with paper petals as she moves along.

The first husband to be down the aisle is none other than Johnny, in a smart charcoal grey suit with a goldenrod pocketsquare, gold jewelry, and a wreath of orange blossoms on his head; and accompanied by Honoria Crabb in her perfectly tailored black tuxedo, worn with black gloves and a white bow tie. Watson and César take up the rear, arms linked together. César is wearing an equally fancy suitcoat with his tie held in place with a ruby and silver tie pin, and Watson is wearing an officer’s dress uniform, with the sword and without the helmet, and also his good cane. All three husbands-to-be are wearing green carnation boutonnières.


AFTER PARTY

It's time to eat, dance, and party!

The seating has been rearranged for sitting at tables around the "dance" floor. Food from Windjammer has been placed on some tables for a buffet. There’s a selection of fancy cheeses and crackers, sushi, premade sandwiches, and salad with dressings on the side. For dessert, to one side there’s a table with cupcakes, cookies, and chocolates arranged in a heart. On the bar are a couple bowls of punch (including one explicitly labeled as non-alcoholic) made by Johnny ahead of time, because he's been forbidden to bartend his own wedding, much to his deep chagrin.

There’s a space set just off the dancefloor for musicians who wish to perform, the usual John’s piano (bribed into behaving with a whole pan of beef brisket from the buffet) off to one side.

Comments

love. true love.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[first, the dais was empty. then, the wedding party arrived.

ten minutes pass before the officiant arrives as well. dressed pretty much exactly the same as he always is, except he is, for some inscrutable reason, wearing a small, rounded pair of reading glasses. he looks over those gathered with his usual impassive expression, and speaks with his usual monotone.]

Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh.

[he shakes his hand, a sheet of paper appearing from the ether. he pushes the glasses further up onto his nose, and begins to recite,

and recite,

oh wow he's still going.

at some seemingly random moment, he clears his throat:] To proceed...

[he nods at the grooms.]

The intended shall now recite whatever vows they may have. Make some sort of hand gesture when you've finished; I will have my hands over my ears for the entire time this is happening.

[and then he does so. so. go on, you three.]

[lightconductor]

Ten minutes. Ten whole minutes. Oh, Watson thought he wasn't going to show up, and that was both embarrassing and relieving. He lifts an eyebrow at what seems to him to be Arabic -- he doesn't speak a word of it, but he thinks he recognises the sound, and that's... a surprise, in its way. Still, interrupting seems unwise. And he waits.

Given the chance to speak, though, Watson glances between César and Johnny, and pulls a little piece of notepaper out of his pocket. He was not sure if he'd have the chance for this, but he is prepared.

He clears his throat.

"Johnny, César, I have been so very honoured to have the attention of two so extraordinary men, and for you I am standing here in front of everyone making a declaration that would have seemed impossible, less than a year ago, for a number of reasons. You both came into my life at a time when I thought I might be alone for all my days, and I will endeavour to be as worthy of you as I can be. I will be a pillar of strength when you need me to be, because I know you will do the same in turn. None of us can say what will come of us here," his gaze flicks to the Captain, automatically, "but I will be as true to you as ever a man can be. I, John H. Watson, love you both, and I devote myself to you for all my days, whatever trials we may face. I will be a husband that you can be proud of; this I vow to you here, on this day, before witnesses."

By the end, his eyes are shining, and his face is very pink.

[businessorlibation]

"I tried writing vows three or four times, and always ended up with something too twee, too trite or too...fussy for what it is I have with you two. And our love is none of that. It is so easy for me to be myself in my fullness with you, my loves." He runs a hand over his hair, dislodging a single lock that dangles down onto his forehead.

"I want to build a home with you. It's not going to be a house with a pretty fence and a dog in the yard. It's not going to be an apartment in the Margrave building. But a home is where a family is, and you are my family. So let's tend our garden on the sea and treasure the life we have together, as strange as wondrous as it continues to be. In all the richness and magic the future brings, and all the horrors it's bound to contain..." a brief glance toward the Captain, because look "...I, Johnny Estival Summer, will be by your side, facing it as your partner and husband. I love you both so dearly."

[pineapplesalmon]

Ten whole minutes. César hopes the Captain wouldn't stand them up. But he finally arrives, reciting some sort of wedding ceremony(?) in Arabic.

"Leave it to the author to leave us both in the dust." He teases, blinking back tears. "I gave up and just applied the KISS principle to mine, and then a coin toss to the last part."

César has memorized his vows. Because he needs to take both Johnny's and Watson's hands, looking between them.

"Never did I think I'd be standing here at this moment. ... Nor did I expect there to be two people that were willing to marry me." César laughs, a bit nervous. "But here we are, standing here. And here I am, standing before you."

He squeezes their hands. "I don't know what lies in store for us, but I will stand with you always, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, so long as we exist. And all I ask is that you do the same for me... even if the question is rhetorical."

César blinks back tears, and it takes him a moment to collect himself before continuing, hands faintly shaking. "And thank you for saving me. For helping me be myself again. I-I never thought I'd be this happy again, especially in a place like this."

He lets go of both of their hands and takes Watson's first, looking into his eyes for a long moment. "Te amo, John."

Slowly, he lets go of his hands, and then takes Johnny's, looking into his eyes for that same long moment. "Te amo, Johnny."

A long breath, a nervous laugh, and then he lets go of Johnny's hands, looking between them nervously as if to say what's next?

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[has started quietly humming blondie songs]

[lightconductor]

Watson tries not to smirk. Biting his lip, he gives the Captain a little wave.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

Oh, thank God. [uncovers ears] By the power vested in me by literally no one ever, at all, in any sense of the word, I now declare thee wed. [a pause] And those who say: "Oh Lord, give us comfort in our spouses and children, and make us paragons of those who follow the straight path."

[another pause]

Cool, glad that's over. I'll be over there while you do the rest of... that. Have fun.

[and then he just. doesn't even vanish or anything. just straight up walks off to the side to stare pointedly at a wall for about five minutes.]

[businessorlibation]

[Johnny watches the Captain for a moment before speaking up.]

I do hope you realize we're not consummating the marriage here and now, Captain. The part that comes next is a party. Dancing and food.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[HANDS OVER EARS AGAIN] ... and you try to run, but he's got a gun, and he shoots you dead, and he eats your head...

[lightconductor]

"... he's very squeamish, isn't he?"

Still, the deed is done, and there's usually a kiss around this point, so Watson takes a moment to kiss both César and Johnny in turn. Definitely trying not to think about the crowd, but he is so very, very happy. "Rich, the rings, please."

[pineapplesalmon]

"Still, character growth." César breathes out a laugh, kissing Watson when he's kissed, and waiting his turn to kiss Johnny after (which he does with the same intensity).

Rings, please. Don't let César think too hard about the last time someone kissed around the Captain. He remembers when the response was to tell Watson about Holmes. And then the bullet embedding in the wall next to César when Watson fired Johnny's gun.

[firewalled]

"Right! Um, rings..." Rich has been gawking at the Captain's antics for several moments now, and though the vows did momentarily distract him (seriously, that's so gay but he's so happy for them), the Captain's squeamishness is a source of morbid fascination and amusement that it draws him right back in. Plus, well, it's the Captain. Someone's got to keep an eye on him.

Eventually, though, he does step forward, holding up the little cushion to the men. He tries not to think about how his own matching ring is sitting heavily on a chain under his suit jacket.

off to the side somewhere i guess

[sabigoe]

[ Okay, she was much calmer earlier while walking down the aisle, but now...

Maybe she should be paying attention to the loving vows being exchanged, but she's entirely distracted by the Captain's presence. Completely tense and just... staring at him from where she's seated. Still afraid, of course! ]

[saltwaterlungs]

[ Darcy's keeping an eye on everything from where she's seated, just in case some genius tries to take potshots at the Captain while he's up there. Fio- tense with terror and unblinking- gets her attention right away, and she swallows her discomfort to reach a hand out, resting it gently on her shoulder. ]

Hey- you okay? [ Keeping her voice low to not interrupt the ceremony, ]

[sabigoe]

[ César informed her in advance who would be officiating. She was overjoyed being asked by Rich to be the flower girl. She thought that having familiar people around would be reassuring enough...

Flinching, the touch on her shoulder takes her by surprise. She holds back a frightened squeak. ]

Uh... I... [ It's too difficult for her to lie. She speaks in a whisper: ] No, I don't think so.

[ Maybe she'll feel better during the actual partying... ]

[saltwaterlungs]

[ Darcy moves her hand away from Fio's shoulder to offer it for her to hold. Palm up, her callouses where they always are from training. ]

He's a jerk, I know. Do you think you can be brave enough to sit through the rest of this, or do you want me to take you outside until it's over and he leaves?

[sabigoe]

[ Turns her head so she can stop focusing her gaze at the Captain. She takes Darcy's hand, giving it a squeeze. ]

I-... [ Almost as if she's debating taking that latter option. Shaking her head. ] I'm the flower girl. I have to be here... I can do this.

[saltwaterlungs]

You can do this. Me and Duggy and Ava and everyone will be here if anything happens. It'll be okay, [ Gently, ever-so-gently squeezes her hand back. ]

You were really good at throwing the flowers, ehn?

[sabigoe]

...Yeah.

[ No one died during the game show, as far as she knows. She was only there for one whole minute. Maybe it'll be okay here too, she's hoping. She still doesn't understand why they asked the Captain to officiate... ]

Was I, really? I've never been part of a wedding before. I'm happy I can be now.

[ Despite the nerves she's having! ]

[saltwaterlungs]

Yeah, you were. I bet if there's another wedding, you'll be the first pick for flower girl again.

[ She just hopes to God and every Saint that it won't be Skulduggery and the Captain's......

For the moment, though, she's just leaving her hand in Fio's, keeping her eye out for trouble. ]

[sabigoe]

...I'd like that.

[ She wouldn't mind allowing another person play the role of a flower girl though. As long as she invited and involved somehow, she'll be happy. And she'll try to do a better job. She feels a little shameful over her fear... ]

But why'd they invite the Captain? ...Aren't they scared? I don't get it.

[ She doesn't even know sometimes people just walk up or hang around the bridge door... ]

[saltwaterlungs]

It's tradition for Captains to be the one to marry people on boats, I think, [ She offers by way of explanation, and hopes it's somewhere resembling the truth because why the fuck would they ask the Captain to officiate??? ]

I... have you ever seen an animal with a thorn in its paw, Fio? They can be really angry and mean to other people, but it's because they're hurting and scared, and once you pull the thorn out, the animal is friendly again. We think... the Captain is kind of like that, ehn? That doesn't mean you can't be scared of him, people are just... trying to be nice to him, because it might not be totally his fault he's like this.

[ Which is probably the closest she can get to an actual explanation of the situation. ]

[sabigoe]

[ Well, she's learned something new about boats. Still, even if it's a tradition, she would be deathly afraid to request for this particular captain to officiate.

Fio speaks slowly, trying her best to understand. She keeps her hand in Darcy's, her tension gradually slipping away. ]

People are being nice to him... so he can become a friendly person again?

[saltwaterlungs]

That's what they're hoping, [ Even if she can't sound convicted in it herself. ]

Sometimes people are like that. They're mean because they don't know better, or because nobody's been nice to them. Like Vance, ehn?

[ ... ]

That doesn't mean you have to try and be nice to him, though. Even if he doesn't mean it, he still shouldn't be mean to people, and I don't want you getting hurt.

[sabigoe]

[ She nods. ] ...Vance used to be really scary. [ Now he's... nice? Though Vance would probably rather like to hear that he's cool and tough. ]

I... I can't even talk to the Captain.

[ She hasn't been going out of the way to ever try approaching him to be nice. Or cruel. Or... anything. She's just too afraid that she tries to avoid any sort of interaction altogether. ]

Do you think he'll change, Darce?