come_sailaway | 10th Contraption: Mawwiage

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10th Contraption: Mawwiage

Who: John Watson, Johnny Summer, and César Salazar with Rich Goranski, Fio, and Honoria Crabb AND YOU Oh god why are weddings like this
What: The throuple getting married by... the Captain?!
When: December 11th at 7pm
Where: John's
Warnings: I believe in us! But for now, nothing.

SEATING

John's has been transformed, the seating up front rearranged in rows towards the center dias with an aisle down the middle, the piano moved off to one side. The buffet for later can be seen off to the other. Decorations taken from Spirit Halloween appear here and there–flowers taken from cavalera flower crowns, sun and moon candlestick holders from the tarot collection, festively colored tablecloths draped down the walls like curtains or banners. A sign near the entrance says "seat yourself", although the front row on one side is reserved with a ribbon across the backs.

What can't be seen is who is officiating. Or the husbands, but at least that part makes sense. The dais is empty.

THE CEREMONY

As one of the few traditions in this wedding, music announces the start of the ceremony. Rich strolls in first, trying to look professional even if he’s clearly shaking a bit as he holds the small pillow with the rings laid on it. At least he’s dressed quite smartly, Johnny ensuring his red suit is wrinkle free and his cuff links are set in place. Fio, in a winged black dress and flowery headdress, follows after the ring bearer, adorning the path with paper petals as she moves along.

The first husband to be down the aisle is none other than Johnny, in a smart charcoal grey suit with a goldenrod pocketsquare, gold jewelry, and a wreath of orange blossoms on his head; and accompanied by Honoria Crabb in her perfectly tailored black tuxedo, worn with black gloves and a white bow tie. Watson and César take up the rear, arms linked together. César is wearing an equally fancy suitcoat with his tie held in place with a ruby and silver tie pin, and Watson is wearing an officer’s dress uniform, with the sword and without the helmet, and also his good cane. All three husbands-to-be are wearing green carnation boutonnières.

AFTER PARTY

It's time to eat, dance, and party!

The seating has been rearranged for sitting at tables around the "dance" floor. Food from Windjammer has been placed on some tables for a buffet. There’s a selection of fancy cheeses and crackers, sushi, premade sandwiches, and salad with dressings on the side. For dessert, to one side there’s a table with cupcakes, cookies, and chocolates arranged in a heart. On the bar are a couple bowls of punch (including one explicitly labeled as non-alcoholic) made by Johnny ahead of time, because he's been forbidden to bartend his own wedding, much to his deep chagrin.

There’s a space set just off the dancefloor for musicians who wish to perform, the usual John’s piano (bribed into behaving with a whole pan of beef brisket from the buffet) off to one side.

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"Oh." Max freezes like a deer in headlights. He was coming over, on Johnny's recommendation, to ask Klaus for a dance but he's now been beaten to it.

"Yeah. I was hoping you'd want to dance. I'm Max Maximum. I can lead, I guess, but I'm actually more used to following." Isn't that the truth?

Klaus looks up, nearly surprised. Isn't this the guy that's been following Valdis around? But his general reaction is adorable.

"Hey, Max. I'm Klaus." There's a small laugh. "All right, then. Dance preference or just choose something and go? I'll lead for you, tiger." And a wink. Cause what is a little harmless flirting at a time like this?

The flirting wink and that pet name cause a flush to warm Max's cheeks. Johnny was right, Klaus is fun.

"I mostly know ballroom dances, but if you lead I'm pretty good at keeping up. That's part of my job description."

Klaus grins because the blush is enough to be a win. It’s at least not a bad sign and he doesn’t seem angry. Oh wait. “Pronoun check? Don’t want to get that wrong. I’m he/they.”

But right. The dancing. “You’re in luck, then. Cause my dad made us learn ballroom dance as kids.” And teens. There is a pause at the ‘part of my job description’. “Are you like a personal assistant or something?” They have done a lot of foxtrot tonight, so hm. “How do you feel about a tango?” What’s a little tango between friends? Cause they’re already friends now. Klaus moves fast.

“I can also be talked into a rumba or waltz if you prefer.” A beat. “There’s also swing dancing.”

"O-oh. I'm a... he?" Hi, yes, Max is from 2011 in the middle of the bible belt, he's got some learning to do about pronouns and gender classifications.

"Yeah, something like that actually. I'm a butler. I live and work in my master's house. What I'm wearing right now is my work uniform." So, you know, fancy shit.

"I like to tango." They are definitely friends, Max has already decided.

It’s okay, Max. You’ll get there. “Cool.” Simple as that. Klaus is just happy they can actually talk about this shit and stop being weird about it for no reason.

There’s a moment of pause about that answer. If this was Clue, this guy would for sure be the murderer, but maybe it’s more of a Batman situation. What was that guy’s name again? Doesn’t matter. “Oh. Huh. I think technically Pogo was our butler? But also like…I feel like he was more than that, too. At least you get to dress nice.”

They smile brightly. “Okay! Tango it is, buddy.” He’s just gonna go for it now. Place all hands where they are meant to be and go.

"Pogo? I'm assuming that's from where you grew up?" And Max thought his own name was weird.

"I do like to look sharp. Helps that it's on my master's dime." Technically everything is.

Max follows Klaus's lead flawlessly, letting his muscle memory kick in and take him away while his mind is free to wonder independently. Some of his musings actually make it all the way to his mouth.

"So...I never thought I'd see a wedding between three guys in my lifetime..."

"Yeah. He's a talking, Chimpanzee." Which he says like it's a totally normal, every day thing. "Has a little suit and everything. Also trains us with fighting sometimes!" Yep. Still totally a normal, every day thing. Nothing unusual here!

"That's good, though. I don't think I could do suits all the time. It's like...why? I like a good skinny jean every so often, a skirt if I'm feeling it...I had the prettiest dress on Halloween, but I got blood all over it and had to throw it away. It was the woooooorst." But if he could like...wear anything he wanted on someone else's dime, he'd definitely do it. Case and point...his father and basically every relationship he's ever been in.

Klaus smiles. "Yeah. I mean, three guys? No. Two guys, sure." A beat. "When are you from? I mean...if you're from Earth or whatever."

"I'm sorry. He's a what-now?" Is he being compared to a chimpanzee right now? Why did they have a chimpanzee butler? How the fuck does that work? How did it talk? Like... talk, talk?? His brain is about to melt like a fried egg. Good thing he can follow a lead without thinking too hard about it.

No. Abort. Stop freaking out about the chimpanzee. Think of anything else. "Have you seen the size of my ass? You think I'd ever be able to squeeze into a pair of skinny jeans?" Welp. That sure is a way to change the topic.

"Don't know about me in a dress either. I'd look all wrong in it." Klaus though? He's cocking his head, checking them out up and down trying to picture it and, yeah, he can see it.

"When? That's a new question. It was about three hours away from being 2012 on new year's eve. Which is really weird because today is apparently still December 11th?"

Klaus doesn't really talk about Pogo that much, so this like...is more like what he though the reaction would be. Nobunaga was just like...really normal and excited about it. "It's okay, buddy, you heard me right."

At the question, they start laughing. "I've seen nice asses in skinny jeans. It's all about how you do it." Of course, Klaus is pretty thin all things considered. "You get a lot of compliments about your ass?"

There's a shrug. "That's also all about how you do it. And if you want to wear them. I like it, so..." Another shrug. "Eh. At any rate...it's hard sometimes to be really really really ridiculously good looking." They are not sorry for the Zoolander reference as they dip him. They've made it once before and no one understood. Who knows if Max will understand him?

"Yeah. Huh. I'm from 2019. Before our birthday. It was April. Suuuuper weird to show up in August."

Max has to force-close the tab in his brain that is still trying to figure out how a guy has a talking chimpanzee as a butler. He just... can't even.

Asses. Asses are safer conversations topics. "Sure. I mean, I've been told it's my second best feature." Eyebrow waggle. Go on. Ask him what the first best is.

"Right? What a burden being so beautiful. You handle it well." The flirting will continue forever until someone tells him to stop. This is how he copes with all this existential information he's getting.

"Holy shit. You're from my future? That's... damn. I want to ask what it's like but is that like asking for spoilers?"

Klaus doesn't get why it's SO WEIRD. I mean, he does, but also he's so used to it that like...is it even news? Probably.

They've never met a challenge, intentional or otherwise, that they could turn down, so... "Yeah? And what's your first?" Klaus isn't sure he can guess, but he hopes it's probably not his personality, so...at least he's ruled that out.

There's a bright grin at the compliment. It's much easier to take compliments about his looks than anything else. "I know. I've had years of experience. But I'm sure you know what it's like." Yeah, flirting is harmless. Nothing has to happen. "I had this huge portrait done of me once. That's probably the only portrait I've had of me done, actually. But I think it caught my essence." A beat. "I mean, there was also that time I was posing for art classes for money, so maybe there's more of me out there than I remember." He casually doesn't mention like...that was so he could afford more drugs, but whatever.

"I mean, I guess so, yeah. I mean, some of it's maybe spoilers, but different world, different futures. Probably. Like I doubt the end of the world is in 2019 for you, but it is for me. We did not succeed at avoiding it."

Max knows the feeling since it's the same every time people get on his case for living with a vampire. It's not that weird, come on. (Yes it is.)

He's so glad you asked, Klaus. "My dick, of course." Look at this smirk he's wearing. Sometimes he gets really into his own head about how his dick might be his most redeeming quality--and what the hell does that say about him?--but... when he's flirting with a fun new friend, it's easy to own it. It's a selling feature, obviously.

"I bet you were a great subject for those pictures. I'd be happy to have you as a model." All the flirting, all the compliments. How high can they each inflate the other's ego?

That plan falters a bit, though, after hearing about... excuse him? The end of the world?

"And here everyone kept saying 2012 was going to be the end of the world. That... seriously happened?"

Klaus wants to say they didn't see that response coming, but...here they are, giggling to themselves for a moment and trying not to look down to see if they can tell. "Hot." He laughs. "Hope you got some things that aren't your ass and dick that people compliment." He looks up at his face for a moment. "You have nice eyes, too." Just a little wink.

It's fine. Nobunaga hasn't said expressly that flirting is off limits, but maybe he should check. Just in case. "Oh? You gonna draw me like one of your French girls, is it?" There's absolutely no apology here. "I'll clear it with Nobunaga. Maybe if you give him a copy."

"Oh. Yeah. 2012 came and went. Nothing abnormal there. It's just my world, I think. So I wouldn't worry about it."

Max was about to say he's also a really good cook, but then Klaus compliments his eyes and he feels his entire chest swell with a sudden joy that takes him so completely by surprise. What was he about to say?

"I-I also make a really good cake." Yeah, that was probably it, right? Close enough.

"Nobunaga? That's the guy in the armor, right? He um. He got really upset when I told him my line of work. But, like, in a sweet and concerned way." Is Max blushing about that a little too? Maybe. He can crush on everyone at once, it's fine.

"I'd love to give him something, at least. And you too. But I'm not that good at drawing and there aren't any kitchens here."

Catching people off guard is actually one of Klaus’ favorite things to do. Kind of like getting Nobunaga to blush.

“I bet you do, buddy. And one day you’re gonna prove it to me.” But this place doesn’t really allow for much by way of cooking. Sadly. Not that Klaus knows shit about cooking. “I shouldn’t be trusted around a stove, so you’ll have to handle all that if we find one ever.”

Klaus finds him in the crowd and nods, a stupid smile forming. “Yeah. That’s the one.” He looks back to Max. “He does that to a lot of people. Wants to break castes and conditioning and all that. It’s cute most of the time.” Max doesn’t seem mad about it, though. Is that a blush he sees? Aw. Someone is blushing over their boyfriend. So cute. “He wasn’t overly intense about it, was he?” Because they definitely know that’s a thing, too.

“We don’t need anything, buddy. At least it’s not super necessary. But you’re cute for wanting to.” And Klaus will stand by that.

"Duly noted," he says with a shy giggle. "I'll keep you away from the hot stoves." Maybe he and Nobunaga both.

"Oh, well, he was a little. But after I told him I had knives he seemed to calm down." Max still doesn't quite know what to do with that. But, Nobunaga had seemed so adamant.

"Actually, he asked me if I could teach you how to use them because he said he'd trust me to do it more than Blackbeard? So. I guess, maybe, if you want to learn?" He's also been pressganged into more martial arts stuff with both Nobunaga and Teyrey so... he may as well.

“Thanks. I’m much better for taste testing.” See? Perfectly fine.

There was a nod at that. “Makes sense. It means you can defend yourself, which is useful.” At least when it comes to Nobunaga. “My dad trained us in hand-to-hand when we were kids. So I know some stuff, but less with weapons. I left Diego and Five to the weapons.”

There’s a slight eyeroll here at the mention of Nobunaga asking someone else to train him with weapons. “I have a plan with Blackbeard. The plan is make myself someone he listens to. It’s fine. If I have to trick someone into torturing me a little to distract them, well, things happen.” But they sigh. “He’s just a worrier. Also please understand that he’s being weird about me being in danger when he’s the one that signed up for a murder game where he got eaten by a werecougar. Like literally. Not sexually.”

This is fine. “Which isn’t to say I’m saying no cause I do still want to learn different fighting, just boyfriends, am I right?”

"Five? Is that really one of your siblings' name?" Says the guy who was renamed Max Maximum.

"Isn't Blackbeard supposed to be a really dangerous pirate? Or is he like... a fanboy who named himself after that really famous pirate." Honestly, it's good he's asking Klaus this and not Blackbeard himself.

"Wait, wait, torture?" He looks Klaus up and down. "You're not, like, into that...are you?"

And Max's eyes just keeping getting wider the more Klaus adds. "Man... and I thought the thing I had going on was weird. That must be the same werecougar Valdis mentioned."

“Yeah. I’m uh…I’m Number Four. Technically. Dad named us numbers. Mom gave us real names. Except Five disappeared before then.”

Klaus considers that before nodding. “Yeah. He’s definitely the real deal and dangerous as shit, but he seems to like me, so…that’s a point in my favor, right? Also don’t ask him that in person cause he can get like angry.”

Klaus arches an eyebrow. “I mean…yeah. Kinda part of it. I got off on the torture when I was kidnapped by these guys trying to get information on Five. So it made the situation awkward. For them. Not for me. Obviously. I mean, sure they didn’t ask permission first, but also…you should’ve seen their faces!” They seem weirdly proud of this. “Ten hours straight and they didn’t get anything! And then like they crushed my drugs and maybe they got stuff. Woops.”

They shrug. “Probably. I only know of the one. But it’s fine. Everything is fine.”

"Whoa. That's... kinda messed up? I like the name your mom gave you a lot better. Mine didn't always used to be Max, either but..." but he suddenly has decided he doesn't want to talk about that now.

"I don't know if I want to meet him if he really is that dangerous. You should be careful, dude... uh. Even if you're into that stuff that's um. That's one hell of a story."

And here now he's feeling slightly awkward because he's never really done drugs so he can't relate.

"You say that but uh... a lot of things don't really sound fine."

Klaus shrugs. "I mean, yeah..." They look at Max for a moment, wanting to ask about it, but the drop off suggests he doesn't want to, so they don't.

"It's fine. He's very grouchy, but he went with me to karaoke! It was super fun! But it's okay if you don't want to. I think it's just one of those things." They shrug. "I don't know him super well, but I know just to say things and if he wants to understand them, he'll ask. And that he thinks music is soooo cool!"

There's a moment of quiet. "Even if it's not, there's nothing to do about them now. I'm fine. I'm alive. I mean, I couldn't die for most of my life..." A beat. "I mean I could die, but I didn't stay dead, which is the same thing."

"What did you sing? Pirate shanties?" See, this is really why he shouldn't meet dangerous pirates, because he's guaranteed to ask stupid questions like this. "Or, oh my god, did you get him into pop music?" Imagine getting Blackbeard into The Black Eyed Peas?

He quiets a little at that shift in mood. More terrible revelations that sound anything but fine. Dying but not staying dead? How is that possible?

"I don't understand. But I... if it's upsetting to talk about we can just drop it."

"No." He was about to mention what he actually sang, but Max got there first. "Duh. I sang uh...Destiny's Child. I think it was Survivor? I was gonna sing Independent Woman Pt. 1, but..."

Klaus waves it off. "Nah. It's fine. I mean, it's just a lot, so maybe I'll save it for a different time. It's just superpowers. But explaining finding out about it and everything is a lot."

"Goddamn, I might pay good money to see a reprisal of that." He's not even joking. Holy shit, what a song choice.

"I... maybe later, yeah. I guess I'm already a little overloaded by everything going on."

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busball - 2023-01-05 07:36 (UTC) - Expand

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10th Contraption: Mawwiage

dancing

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slightly nsfw

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start winding this one down?

yep!

Thank you!

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