come_sailaway | 10th Contraption: Mawwiage

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10th Contraption: Mawwiage

Who: John Watson, Johnny Summer, and César Salazar with Rich Goranski, Fio, and Honoria Crabb AND YOU Oh god why are weddings like this
What: The throuple getting married by... the Captain?!
When: December 11th at 7pm
Where: John's
Warnings: I believe in us! But for now, nothing.

SEATING

John's has been transformed, the seating up front rearranged in rows towards the center dias with an aisle down the middle, the piano moved off to one side. The buffet for later can be seen off to the other. Decorations taken from Spirit Halloween appear here and there–flowers taken from cavalera flower crowns, sun and moon candlestick holders from the tarot collection, festively colored tablecloths draped down the walls like curtains or banners. A sign near the entrance says "seat yourself", although the front row on one side is reserved with a ribbon across the backs.

What can't be seen is who is officiating. Or the husbands, but at least that part makes sense. The dais is empty.

THE CEREMONY

As one of the few traditions in this wedding, music announces the start of the ceremony. Rich strolls in first, trying to look professional even if he’s clearly shaking a bit as he holds the small pillow with the rings laid on it. At least he’s dressed quite smartly, Johnny ensuring his red suit is wrinkle free and his cuff links are set in place. Fio, in a winged black dress and flowery headdress, follows after the ring bearer, adorning the path with paper petals as she moves along.

The first husband to be down the aisle is none other than Johnny, in a smart charcoal grey suit with a goldenrod pocketsquare, gold jewelry, and a wreath of orange blossoms on his head; and accompanied by Honoria Crabb in her perfectly tailored black tuxedo, worn with black gloves and a white bow tie. Watson and César take up the rear, arms linked together. César is wearing an equally fancy suitcoat with his tie held in place with a ruby and silver tie pin, and Watson is wearing an officer’s dress uniform, with the sword and without the helmet, and also his good cane. All three husbands-to-be are wearing green carnation boutonnières.

AFTER PARTY

It's time to eat, dance, and party!

The seating has been rearranged for sitting at tables around the "dance" floor. Food from Windjammer has been placed on some tables for a buffet. There’s a selection of fancy cheeses and crackers, sushi, premade sandwiches, and salad with dressings on the side. For dessert, to one side there’s a table with cupcakes, cookies, and chocolates arranged in a heart. On the bar are a couple bowls of punch (including one explicitly labeled as non-alcoholic) made by Johnny ahead of time, because he's been forbidden to bartend his own wedding, much to his deep chagrin.

There’s a space set just off the dancefloor for musicians who wish to perform, the usual John’s piano (bribed into behaving with a whole pan of beef brisket from the buffet) off to one side.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ari's doing her best, but she's starting to grow frustrated.]

What if he's the Executive Director of Kishar? It makes as much sense. Unless you're trying to say that it was Friday, not him, but she follows his orders.

[Much more seriously:] It is not my priority, but if I ever have the opportunity to kill him, I'll take it. It's a waste of time to pursue when my primary objective is getting home, but you take advantage of a situation where you can.

I don't disbelieve you about the emotions - but still I have no interest in talking to Skulduggery. I have no interest in talking to anyone who wants to tell me that there is no escape from this place, whether it's said in ignorance or malice. Those are the options. It's like... if you tried to stab me now, here. [She taps her chest.] You would not hurt me. You can't see my armor, but it's there. You might tell people ah, Tayrey is unkillable! I stabbed her and she felt nothing! But strike here- [a light tap to her unprotected throat] -and I bleed out like anyone else. Tell everyone I can't be killed, though, and maybe nobody will try. Lots of the claims in the binder are like that. Unproven. Likely unprovable.

[She shakes her head.] A launch platform becomes so because ships set off from it. I see no evidence of that here. Nor is there any written history. I could accomplish the greatest things, but after I'm gone from here, if the captain still lives and carries on with this behavior, nobody new will even know my name. You know he'd conceal all evidence of his failure.

I think... [her tone turns more measured, less insistent] we will not agree on this. Any of it. We don't have to always agree.

He has no capacity to control who comes here, when, how, and why. He is able to know things, sure. And not via mind-reading, but he isn't actively picking and choosing who comes or goes. What if none of this is actively his doing? People coming here, people getting stuck. What if he's just as stuck as everyone else? What if his attempts at the excursions are literally his attempt to find freedom too? What even makes you think killing him would do anything? Thousands of years of people trying, trying things you haven't thought of, and you're going to succeed, because what?

Skulduggery isn't saying there's no escape. He said trying to kill the captain won't resolve things.

If you want to call magic on this, I will again, cease or wait until a better time, but I expect you to think on it a lot harder. And not in the angle of hopelessness that makes you give up. I want you to think like the genius I know you are.

Why do you think the Serena Eterna is a ship?

You don't know this. You don't know any of this. You're repeating to me things that have been told to you as fact, when you have no evidence. I expect you to at least listen to me when I explain the lack of evidence, instead of just reasserting things as that you have no proof of as absolute truths.

If you don't think Skulduggery is trying to say I can't go home, go and read that wretched thing again.

If you want me to keep fighting off despair for your sake, to keep trusting you, then be worthy of the effort.

[Ari doesn't raise her voice. She's intense about it, but perfectly calm. The only indication of the depth of her emotion right now is that she'd never normally be so direct, so critical.]

I do know. There's not a damn fool in any universe who would try to capture me and hold me in a place where I can help break others free. There's no one insane enough to risk the devastation of everything they've ever worked for, for centuries, in having me able to undermine them wherever I go without then at least blocking off as much of my capacity as they could. There's nothing stopping me from much of anything.

I will re-read it. I'll hold you hand and read it again with you. He said there's a version of you already there. He doesn't even know that for certain, he is basing that off of others. But I can tell you that's the case, because otherwise a paradoxical wormhole would occur, and it would destroy things to try to stabilize the problems.

Answer me about the ship, Lieutenant. Why a ship? Do you think the Captain made it, or scavenged it? Either way: why? Why this one?

[He's also calm, because he's not scared either. A little intense, but he's intense about everything.]

[Ari's not afraid right now. She's angry with him. Angry that he doesn't seem to be following any of her arguments, and that he's making her doubt him and his capabilities because of it, because that's far too close to losing faith in her captain, on the Tradelines, and if that happened to someone it'd make their life very hard.

Of course, if she'd spoken like this on a Tradeline ship she'd have been shut down at once. Oda is different.
Their relationship is very different. She's still figuring it out.]

You're forgetting. He's like one of your demon kings, you said. Isn't it possible that he'd overestimate his own capabilities and underestimate yours? We don't know anything about the reasons he has for choosing people. Maybe he knew you were a risk but had to bring you here anyway. Maybe you were going to do something in your future that he wants to prevent. We don't have enough information to say.

I'm not a child, Oda. Don't think I haven't studied those papers. I could probably recite half of them to you. If he doesn't know things for certain he shouldn't state them as fact, and nor should you. My understanding of temporal mechanics and my observations of the Earthers here suggests something different from what you're concluding.

We'll talk about the ship after you consider my point about lack of evidence. Killing him might free us. It might do nothing at all. Thousands of years - and no records of what has been tried. Why do you think that is? Why won't you listen when I explain what's unproven?

[A little too far? Possibly. But Nobunaga pushes her on this issue all the time, to her mind, and she needs to do it back right now.]

If he was overestimating himself and underestimating me, he wouldn't leave me running free, he'd still try to make sure I can't interfere. He'd try to antagonize me, or fight me to assert dominance and crush everyone else's spirits by proving he had that power. That defying him in thoughts or words is useless. If he knows about me and my life at all, he knows exactly why, and he wouldn't bring me back to life.

I-- I'm supposed to be dead in my time, Teyrey. Ask Natsuno Yuuki, or the other Japanese. Or even EFB, I think he has history records of the Nobunaga Oda of his timeline. My timeline has been changed multiple times through wormholes. I don't know all of it, but there's no...

If we suppose, every single person here has gone missing from their own timelines, even though there is plenty of evidence that that isn't the case, what do you personally gain from thinking like this? From making your plans on our game boards as if time is continuing for you outside of our bubble in here? Truly? It isn't. People have had time skip memories. That's not Skulduggery saying so, that's them. Cross reference it.

Jenny and Chase and Clarke Griffin all know much of the past attempts. I've said before to not just rely on me. To talk to everyone else and decide for yourself.

I'm listening to you Teyrey, but you're incorrect. You're making your maps on not even outdated data, but without regard to actual data from other sources. Without being afraid, because I know you hate this, you hate the idea that it could be like this, and I know you're afraid, but you trust me to deal with this, right? I can't if I just ignore data and proof just because it's easier to say, "Oh they're obviously lying because such things are too much." I don't understand. Is it your job to find the easiest path in L-Space? Explain it to me.

What does anyone gain from the Captain being miserable, holding us hostage and us miserable, and doing nothing with his power? What is his real goal then, if not apotheosis as suggested? What is Skulduggery's aim? To trick everyone to leave the Captain safe? Do you even think it's working? You can't order someone to be at peace. The more power you gain, the less freedom as well. How would this whole convoluted plot of lying to everyone, be anymore efficient than just directly doing what they want?

I don't understand. I don't understand why if Skulduggery says something you take it as truth, but when I share my analysis you disregard it. What value do I have to you? Is it the lack of certainty? If I put forward some theory with conviction instead of pointing out how much we don't know, would you listen then? I can't do it. It's intellectually dishonest. Jenny and Chase and Clarke Griffin know some things that didn't work. They don't have thousands of years of data. They don't know that nothing will ever work.

And yes, it is my job to find the easiest safe path through L-space. That's exactly what I do. I'm not going to take a more dangerous route for the sake of showing off that I can, and put my crew at risk.

[She sighs.] When we first talked about this, you mentioned multiple universes, and I said that it was possible, but I wasn't convinced. Now I'm more convinced. It's likely that everyone here is from a different universe, all sitting parallel. That's why not all the Earths are the same. You're not supposed to be dead. Not the Oda that I'm talking to. In someone else's universe you died. In yours, you were saved by wormhole activity. In someone else's universe maybe I died in training, or maybe Cardalek was never founded so I was never born. If you follow the theory, the possibilities are limitless. And time is... not as linear as you might think. If the way out is a wormhole, it might take us to the very points we left, or it might take us to sometime later. Either way, I won't care, if I'm home.

You need to distinguish data from speculation, and consider the reliability of what you hear. Anything that comes from the captain via Skulduggery is unreliable - even if Skulduggery himself believes it and speaks in good faith with the best intentions. I don't have to know everything about the captain to know that much. He doesn't have to antagonise or fight you if you can be convinced he isn't your enemy, right?

You need to understand that I want to trust you, but you make it so difficult to do that when you tell me that you believe all this, and that the captain isn't my enemy. I understand not wanting me to focus on him, when doing so will distract me from working on the route to freedom, but you take it too far. It makes me worry about you. For you.

[He lets her say it all, sits down with his back to the wall, and not for the first time, debates smoking. Again.]

You're right about timelines. You're wrong that I think it's linear. It's infinite.

I'm not taking anything anyone says as anything other than their words until I cross reference it. And I have done so.

I know where I'm speculating, and where I'm not. You sound like Darcy. She nearly wanted to slit my throat when I tried to posit how to defeat him. It's not in the book. I tried to explain... [Looks up at the Promenade ceiling that can't be seen. He wonders which part he fell from when he "died." Almost died. Got possessed. Was it here? Elsewhere?] Do you have rock, paper, scissors in your sector? Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper.

Most of the world is scissors. 75%. Then 20% is paper. Only 5% is rock. So scissor fighter get used to tying, used to having to think of other ways to fight after a tie. And they think paper is the weakest. They think rock is the strongest, but it's just that rock is able to defeat scissors. Against paper, the ones most people think is weakest, they can't do anything. Untouchables. People like Oichi. Who can fight in a different way. This is a metaphor, don't take it too literally.

I told Skulduggery if I get through all the library, romance will be last.

I trust you, Teyrey. I don't trust Skulduggery. I don't know him. I don't have a contract with him. We're not friends. I'll drink with him, I'll do karaoke with him, but I don't know how he thinks, or why. I only know what I know, no more. I told him this weakness of mine, because if I simply hid it because I was scared, I would hate myself for being so weak and frail.

Darcy told me she was going to hug the captain, and he threatened to skin her alive and make her bones dance on stage, and use them as a puppet to give Fio nightmares. And that is about what I'd do. Actually he didn't say he'd use her bones on stage, that is what I'd have done. Or wanted to. To warn everyone else to stay the fuck away from me. [Cracks his neck.] It's good I had that fight, because days later, Crichton hugged me. Americans, right? But I love him. He is my friend. This is what I mean.

I do no mean that -- [He closes his eyes, thinking harder.] That the captain could be softened, or that we have the same weaknesses, but rather, there is a way to fight him, but you must use paper, not scissors. Rather than try to cut him, don't. Be uncrushable as paper is to rock. Untouchable. I cannot handle Oichi. That is why I sent her away. Paper to my rock. Metaphorically.

As I said, I do not know what Skulduggery is thinking. But I know he is fighting for your freedom. Maybe I don't understand that. Maybe I misinterpreted it, because that day we met, I was still new, and I was thinking of myself, of what I did in my own time, and certainly, everyone talking about the Captain's sadism, and his issues pretending to be normal -- [A bitter laugh and a handwave.] Even before that, a long time before, I spoke with others, about why they said it was torture, what things were being done, the rest. Even so. Before speaking with Skulduggery, I thought I just want people to be happier. To not be miserable. It was him who made me narrow it back to freedom, like the castes.

If he didn't want that, wouldn't it be easier to try to convince me to convince the others to just be at odds? To fight one another? Me, who can barely get along with people I like! Skulduggery doesn't know my history, and didn't talk to the Captain about me. He died in Ireland when I was still unifying Japan, and he wasn't a nobleman. So it is not like he could have thought, "Aha, I better trick this openly admitted sadist, because his whole life is about unifying people even in hell, so it would never work to just use him as a wedge to divide others especially since he already nearly skewered pirates and talks about being better at torture than the Captain."

Come. [Pats the ground next to him.] I'm not trusting anyone's words, and I never will. My brother Nobuyuki I trusted very much. And he was the one sending assassins after me. He believed I was wrong. Wanting to change things that shouldn't be changed. He thought I was going to get everyone killed or worse. Corrupt their souls. I know you don't think that, but sometimes... this is why the easiest route is not the best. Remember what I said of the danger of wormholes? And yet you are willing to try them anyway. This is that. The easiest route isn't what I want. The one that will absolutely work, that will get everything I want. [Eye gleam.] I will never settle for anything less.

It isn't enough to get one person free. I demand all of us. Every single last one. Even the ghosts. And I'll deal with every obstacle in my way, without fail. And I'll abolish whatever is trapping people here so no others come, and we will bring our own history out into the other realms we go. I will use the positive emotions from music from Jeff, Ryan, Min-Gi, Eddie, and anyone else. I will be so much stronger than the Captain, and I'll show everyone that death's emotions are weak compared to the strength of joy, pride, and victory. In Earth, I used production and economics. Prosperity and peace. Maybe Max the Omnic will figure out a currency to help encourage those who need more direction and reward people directly instead of this 'permanent vacation' listlessness, but I will not work with the Captain. Understand? [Firm staring Teyrey down so she understands the full gravity of that statement.] Word by oath. I don't trust him, and I don't make contracts with demons. Tch.

Everything I do will be without talking to him. Because I don't need him. And I will prove to everyone the other ways things can be done, freedom can be achieved, especially because everyone says it's impossible, without killing him or needing his help or attention at all.

Do you have a problem with that, General?

[Confusion flickers across her face at first, because yes, clearly she knows what rocks and paper and scissors are, but it takes her a moment to process his meaning. Some sort of game. It's about making use of people's strengths, and realising that someone who might not be best suited to one situation might be just what's needed in another. Ari understands that. Anyone who has had a team to manage understands that, she thinks.

Ari doesn't move until she's invited, but when she is, she's very quick to join him, sit straight on the floor beside him, even in her best uniform. And she listens - and it's still difficult, but she must have gotten all her tears out that day in her cabin, because there's no display of emotion, no sudden panic at anything he says.]

No. No, there's no problem. [For once this isn't Ari backing down with reflexive deference, because she's much too far into this debate for that.] If you can achieve your goals that way, I'll be glad of it. I've told you what I want; I don't care how it comes about so long as it does. I'll try my way, but if someone else succeeds, it benefits all of us.

I want everyone to be free too, including the ghosts. Freedom for me is getting home. I'll hold you to that. Being trapped on this ship, even if you make it peaceful and prosperous, is not freedom for me. I will take whatever risks I have to - and yes, I'll take risks for myself that I wouldn't if I had a crew of two hundred depending on me to keep them safe.

Something else you need to know. I'll never attack you. Not if we argue, not if you tried to hurt me by calling me a worthless, contractless copy of Arilanna Tayrey instead of being a real person, or - well, no matter what happens. I'm not Darcy. I wouldn't do it, not ever. If you want more people to talk to about this, you should try Cassandra, who was on the expedition with us, or Palamedes Sextus. Maybe they can explain things better than I can. I have been talking to others, just like you suggested.

This ship isn't freedom, just a launching pad. It can't be prosperous either, there's no kitchens, or trade. If we could trade, we could leave.

I will get you freedom. I will explore, just like I always wanted. I will conquer Delos, and I will see America, and all its rocks.

Well attacking me wouldn't get you to your freedom too well. Even if someone lied and said it would, I don't think you'd believe them. And I know you won't break contract. But yeah. [HUG!] I trust you.

I will speak with them. I think I just explained my thoughts poorly. It's difficult. To go tell someone exactly your weaknesses in the sliver of a chance it's useful. [Eyeroll!] Konpeito in human form. I have told Klaus this too, because he is much like it. I'm useless against it. It was like blowing him a kiss. I thought I was doing something outrageous, something my generals would have fainted at, instead he wasn't surprised at all! Just took it a step further! [Laughs and leans on her!]

Whenever anything is too wholesome or 'pure.' I want to corrupt it, pervert it, make it something dark and evil. Mufufu. Oh or I cannot stand the tension. Like Deputy Pratt's soup party. I have to be banned from such a thing. I would need to yell something during it.

I don't know if the Captain is like that. But I do like surprising people. The funnier the reaction, the more it is a reward for me. It doesn't always have to be negative, but if I say I am fine with negative, then I don't have to care or feel bad if that is what I get, right? [Huff.]

Do you know why I say there's no way he's more of a sadist than me?

[She can't help a small smile.] Is it because you're more creative? He'd never come up with the idea of a skeleton dancing on stage. [Not that she believes Nobunaga would actually do it, but it takes imagination to think up such things!]

I know that it's difficult. I let you see my fears and my weaknesses, don't I? That's not easy for me, even if I know there are benefits. [She slips an arm around him, letting him lean on her.] Erin tried to see me the other day, so she knows how I was. She and I have contract, so I didn't mind that so much, but then she said I should talk to more people about it and I don't think she understood what a terrible idea that was, and why I never would.

I once said I didn't care if people hated me so long as it was for things I'd actually done. Negative reactions aren't so bad if you're in control of them. But what about me - you don't think I'm dark and evil, do you? [Teasingly] Or maybe you'll try to corrupt me, when I least expect it.

[A laugh!] I'm sure he would be able to think of things I couldn't.

It is because I am willing to put myself through a lot, because that is how much I enjoy it. He is scared of people, nothing new. Perfectly reasonable. -- This is speculation, I have nothing to base it on, just my assumption. And I'm sure he doesn't want to deal with them not liking him, like the banquet after the battle royale. But I don't care. I enjoy everything so much, that I'll do all these things and gloat when people can't keep up, and then teach them how do even better so I have something to keep fighting.

I am always corrupting you. Even now. You're here at the dance, and instead of being wholesome, you are out here with me, scandalous, and talking about how to subvert the way things are. Fufufu.

[She finds that when the speculation is identified as speculation, she doesn't mind it at all! That can be useful.]

But if he doesn't want to deal with it, why do you think he would hold banquets in the first place? You're definitely a better sadist than he is, I agree.

[A sudden thought occurs to her, and she shakes her head.] If he's scared of people - isn't it possible that he refused to speak to me not just to be rude and insulting, but because I'm a better negotiator? Or even if I'm not, maybe he was afraid I'd be able to talk him into a contract he wouldn't want?

[Another smile.] We're not being scandalous out here! But we should have brought drinks.

I don't know, I wasn't here for it. I think he wanted to revel in everyone's feelings afterwards, and then found he didn't like it.

Mwahahahah...

Yes! He definitely knows you could manuever circles around him! He should be very scared of you. Probably even more after the Price is Right.

We can get drinks. And we know we're not being scandalous, but others wouldn't. Their imagination might go wild if they stop wondering how Skulduggery kisses without lips. I wonder if he makes himself tentacles. That's probably not something I should ask, yes? Do you think if I could ask if the Captain is a Mi-Go?

[It might just be speculation, but she's certainly enjoying it.]

Definitely. I'll bet he wouldn't have expected someone who knows nothing about Earther currency to win, but commodities always have value. And maybe he thought those berries were a silly prize, but I've been doing very well making tea from them and trading it! Tradeliners can always find the value.

[She laughs.] Is that what happens at dances? If you leave the room, people think it's a scandal? I'll get drinks for us in just a... wait, you said tentacles? [Her eyes widen.] Nobody would want to be kissed by tentacles! If the captain is a Lovecraft monster, he probably has tentacles of his own. [Yes, she read a little!]

Yeah! You're the best. Maybe he knew you'd win, but it'll still make him nervous, because it's obviously something he's not great at, that's why there's no economics or history books, nonfiction.

Right, they would think we're out here making love or going back to room for overnights. [EYE GLEAM!] Yes. He's a mi-go, right? A mi-go. They probably both tentacles. Like this! [MIMES WITH HIS HANDS.]

Like- [Ari does her own tentacle finger demonstration and entwines hers with Nobunaga's, and it's such a disgusting thought that she's laughing again.] Oh I don't want to imagine it! [But now she is.]

You've read more than me but don't mi-go have wings? He doesn't have wings.

And I don't care about scandal, because we did worse on expedition, any other Tradeliner would have assumed that was an overnight. With both of you. So let them gossip about us being out here. At least they know there aren't any tentacles involved.

Yes, exactly!

[Definitely his hell child. He loves her.] Ah Skulduggery can fly though! So maybe they're just invisible wings!

[Laughs!] Okay, I command, if anyone asks, you tell them I definitely use tentacles.

Let me clarify... you want me to tell people that we had an overnight, and that I discovered you have tentacles?

[More laughter. Anyone might think she was very drunk - but no, she's just far too amused by this.]

I don't know, what if Klaus hears and he gets upset and challenges me to a fight over you? I'd win.

Is Skulduggery a mi-go too?

Not out of nowhere! Only if they ask or assume we did. Don't fight Klaus, I think he'd probably laugh too. Actually, his brother Ben had tentacles out of his stomach, so-- [Nod!]

[And thinks seriously about Skulduggery and the Mi-Go theory. Finally shakes his head no.] No, he's a skeleton. He was human when he died. But he can probably do skeletal tentacle things to make up for it. [Nod!]

Alright. I won't announce it to everyone as if I'm exceptionally proud of it, but if they ask, or assume, that's what they're going to hear.

You're teasing about Klaus' brother, right?

[With far more consideration than this probably deserves-] I didn't think that tentacles had bones.

Yes, exactly.

Hmmmm... I could ask him, but I don't think I'd get a serious answer. Especially given how I'm telling you to pretend ludicrous things. Maybe Klaus knows.

Well, for all I know you could have tentacles underneath all that armor!

[Ari shakes her head, and gives his shoulders a little squeeze before she moves to stand up.] It's not important enough to ask! Now, I said I'd get you a drink. Punch? I want to see if anyone stares when I walk bac in.

Is the curiosity driving you to madness? [That would definitely make him a mi-go!!!]

Yes. Fetch us punch. I doubt they will notice, but if anyone does, I'll do a dare.

To madness? If it got that bad I could just ask Klaus. I'm sure he's seen it all.

I'll be back very soon! [So off she goes to get the punch, smirking as she does, because all this amuses her a lot.]

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