YOU'RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT

[sictransitgloriamundi]

WHO: the Captain + You
WHAT: contractually obligated price is right game
WHEN: 11/18, like nightish?
WHERE: Bellona Theater
WARNINGS: N/A, currently

[you've heard the announcement, the sound of Friday's cautious optimism as she spoke it. you've waited all day. now, it's time for the game.

the amount of effort that has gone into this production at Bellona can be safely defined as “minimal.” there are three podiums, with three slate boards and three pieces of chalk. there is another podium, currently empty, next to a plain folding table. there is a tablecloth draped over the table, covering a lumpy, inscrutable shape.

the most remarkable thing is the giant wheel set up on the other side of the empty podium. the slices of the giant circle are colorful, but also completely blank. the Captain actually spends 30 minutes prior to the start of the event simply sitting in front of it, back to the audience, and spinning it, listening to the loud clacking noise pick up and then die down again, before spinning it once more.

clackclackclack clack clack. clack. clackclackclackclackclack.

it's gonna be a long night.]

Comments

[crushed_pearls]

"Your reaction might just be enough but I can neither see shit nor uh, leave, so..."

[ss_buttcrack]

"Calling it art somehow doesn't seem right..." He's trying but how do you describe this??

"Picture the ugliest shade of snot green you can imagine. And then picture a three-year-old painted some guy's portrait in that."

[crushed_pearls]

"...Banksy?"

[ss_buttcrack]

"Who?"

[crushed_pearls]

"Oh Christ, right, he was after you escaped. Uh. God. Imagine if Dadaism was actually as heartless and stupid as its dipshit critics think it is and then change nothing."

[ss_buttcrack]

"... I don't know what Dadaism is either." Look. He's an astrophysicist, not an art historian.

[crushed_pearls]

"Either I or Peter Smith are going to teach you such fascinating and horrifying things here in a bit, my friend. We have," Erin's voice takes a sinister turn, "such sights to show you."

[ss_buttcrack]

"If it's anything like the horror show of an art gallery on that stage, I'm not sure if you're really doing me a favor." Because Jesus H. Christ. That one of the face eating a smaller face... he's going to see that in his nightmares.

[serialskiller]

A nearby drone orbits Erin's head. "You'll have to teach me about it too, it sounds interesting."

[crushed_pearls]

"I'll do the best I can but if y'all can scare up an actual art historian you'd be doing yourselves a favor. I ended up picking up some art history for a heist but, y'know, it ain't exactly an education."