come_sailaway | YOU'RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT

WHO: the Captain + You
WHAT: contractually obligated price is right game
WHEN: 11/18, like nightish?
WHERE: Bellona Theater
WARNINGS: N/A, currently

[you've heard the announcement, the sound of Friday's cautious optimism as she spoke it. you've waited all day. now, it's time for the game.

the amount of effort that has gone into this production at Bellona can be safely defined as “minimal.” there are three podiums, with three slate boards and three pieces of chalk. there is another podium, currently empty, next to a plain folding table. there is a tablecloth draped over the table, covering a lumpy, inscrutable shape.

the most remarkable thing is the giant wheel set up on the other side of the empty podium. the slices of the giant circle are colorful, but also completely blank. the Captain actually spends 30 minutes prior to the start of the event simply sitting in front of it, back to the audience, and spinning it, listening to the loud clacking noise pick up and then die down again, before spinning it once more.

clackclackclack clack clack. clack. clackclackclackclackclack.

it's gonna be a long night.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[... fine.]

Okay, you got a point. We don't need a glass.

You have to have some too! When was the last time you ate any fruit?

I eat fruit!

[C'mon. Like he can remember?]

The olive that comes inside your martini is not 'eating fruit'.

C'mon, you've never seen me drink a martini in your life and you know it!

[He's a whiskey kinda guy, not martini.]

You're the one with the James Bond fantasy!

I've never seen you do anything until recently.

What James Bond fantasy?

Well, have you seen me drink a martini?

[C'mon, Steven.]

You complained I didn't make you more James Bond-like before, then there's the suit... all I can figure is you wanna be some suave spy.

Is that the one with the umbrella in it? No, I suppose not.

You could've made me cooler, yeah. Not James Bond though. He's mentally and emotionally damaged.

Of course it doesn't have an umbrella in it... it has olives! You just said.

[He shakes his head.]

It's not like I made you intentionally! [And he obviously doesn't mean that in a mean way, but. He was a kid. He didn't have control.]

You showed up and you know-- you were.

[Exactly what he needed.]

Why can't there be olives and umbrellas? You can't eat the umbrella. Now you're just making these drinks rules up.

I'm alright with this life, Marc. With how I am. I got everything I could have wanted, and more.

Why would you want an olive and an umbrella? That's too much going on, Steven.

[It's just logical to have one or the other!]

... Yeah. Alright. Cool.

Well if it was up to me I would have an umbrella and an olive and a slice of orange and a wee little rice cracker...

You're not even describing a drink at this point! Come on!

I am! It'll be a cocktail called Vegan At Tesco.

[why are you doing this to him]

Yeah, well, it sounds disgusting!

[Nobody should drink on an empty stomach, so clearly every inch of the rim should be occupied with stuff.]

You don't even know what's going to be in the glass, mate.

Well. What's inside of it?

[Don't you disappoint him, Steven Grant.]

Um... [Oh no! He wouldn't know? Chewing on his lip, he shrugs.] Bombay... blue. Ginger beer. And some lime?

That's just a Bombay Mule, Steven.

[He rolls his eyes.]

Just for that, we're seeing how we can incorporate some of those mangos of yours into a drink later.

It doesn't have olives, umbrellas, rice crackers and oranges though. [Besides, Vegan@Tesco sounds way classier.] I don't understand what donkeys have to do with it. There's no bits of donkey meat floating in the cocktail, is there?

What? No. Gross, Steven. [No one wants donkey meat in their cocktail.

Or rice crackers, he'd argue.]

We've got to get you to try some actual cocktails, buddy.

I don't know where people put their meat. [Is that not a reasonable expectation just based on the name of the drink? Would you order a steak and not get a hunk of beef?]

I'll have a sip if you'll have the rest...

Well, not in their drinks. [That's an entirely different scenario, Steven!]

C'mon, one drink won't kill you, Steven.

I'm just worried I won't like it and it'll go to waste, that's all...

Alright, alright...

If you don't like it, I'll drink it. Deal?

(no subject)

latersgators - 2022-11-21 13:11 (UTC) - Expand

justneedsomehelp - 2022-11-22 11:15 (UTC) - Expand