come_sailaway | ★ (CATCH ALL) baby, go ahead, i'll be your hatred and your pain. this is killing us all。

(as things begin to go underway, the more jinx starts to second guess this. maybe there's a better way of doing this. maybe she should had spoke with ekko the fact she had shimmer on board and who knows? maybe she can really convince him to not get rid of the serum and find another method to get this in her system.

as her anxiety flares, she turns her gaze to max but in mid-waiting to protest this, jinx goes stone cold silent as singed has a quick hold of her arm. pink eyes widen in sheer fear, she is already thrashing to try to get away.)

NO! — Nonononono...!

(and then she feels it -- rapid fire swim through her popping veins -- they pulse with its purple glow and her eyes shock violently to match its color. jinx buries her head down into the pillow to scream in pure agony; kicking wildly. with her doing so, the cushion flies off her lap so she just resorts to pulling her legs close and bites sharply into one of her knees.

'STOP! Please!!! Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop! God, please! No more, no more, no more, no more! Please kill me, this hurts!'

her teeth is so deeply sink into her knee, jinx breaks her own skin as the taste of copper hits her tongue. her tears are flowing so rapidly down her cheeks but strangely as she feels this horrifying pain, she also feels strength returning. the sensation spikes right to her temples -- a chill tickles up and down her spine. her head is spinning with so many voices overlapping; haunting giggles along with the dead reminder her of her failures.)

(and then soon after once all the serum is empty from its needle, jinx lets go of herself with a sharp tilt back of her head -- swallowing a large about of air to fill up her lungs. the purple of her eyes switches into pink and her veins no longer throb as they settle back to normal. and after a few seconds, she practically slumps. her muscles no longer tensing with her head hang low -- panting deeply. despite exhausted, she feels so... light; invincible? either way, she needs... a moment before doing anything.)

Edited 2022-07-20 01:27 (UTC)

[Jinx starts thrashing and screaming and Max barely reacts. The diodes of his eyes briefly settle on hers as they change color, but then he's looking back at her arm, the last thing he wants is to rip the needle out and get either blood or shimmer on his clothing. He's not trying to hurt her, but that seems to be an inescapable side effect of this drug, so he's going to ignore all her screaming and flailing until he can pull the needle free.

He sits back on his heels, capping the needle and dropping it back into her bag. Just watching her as she goes through the phases of a high in a matter of seconds and even for someone mechanical that doesn't look pleasant.

It's not until she slumps that he speaks again.]

Feel better now?

[He's not going to untie her until she says something, in case she's biding her time to get him closer to attack him. Paranoid to his very core.]

(jinx continues to lie so still -- the only movement from her is her chest slowly raising and lowering as she tries to steady her breathing. whether max is able to see with her head low or not, there's a very tiny smile that's on her face. the pain is over just like she pleaded. death didn't come like she asked but the pain did cease. jinx wonders then, did barbatos came in her hour of need somehow?

she wasn't able to breathe his name during the battle royale back then but maybe he actually came through this go round. after all, he does tend to become the wind so maybe he is fluttering in the air -- who truly knows. right now, it's a bit too hard to think in complete thoughts but one does flow by of his name and then "thank you" to follow behind.

bathing in its rush, jinx lifts up her head and exhales out a deep sigh. in a way, she gets why the junkies back home do what they do. the thirst of shimmer's love truly can be intoxicating and alluring. having the feeling of any fear that lingers within completely vaporized and now the strength to do everything and anything all at once -- to reach so high in any skies -- nothing to tie you down.)

'M good.

(she mutters this while tilting her head slowly from side to side to pull any cracks in her neck. her eyes move down to her knee -- watching the purple blood ooze steadily. the bite that stung seconds before no long there. hm. how dramatic she was being...)

Good.

[He reaches over to untie her, coiling his makeshift rope up and putting it back into his bag.]

And now you're stronger and off to blow the ship into pieces or whatever it is you do for fun? But more importantly, those you mentioned who don't want you doing this are definitely going to notice. What are you planning to tell them?

[He wants to get their story straight so he's not implicated in anything.]

(once untied, jinx wiggles that arm a bit to get some feeling back into it and work out any cramps she got during that. another deep breath blows out through her nostrils with her slender fingers combing through her bangs.)

That it was just a terrible cold and I got over it. (a shrug but then a slow smirk to follow.)

Or when in doubt, blame the Cap. Say that he helped me out.

[ It is actually a shame that Max doesn't have a mouth because he'd be sporting a seriously Cheshire Cat like grin right now.]

Blaming the Captain sounds like the best strategy. And he'd either not care or use that to his advantage if he found out.

Yes. That's very clever.

Thanks! 'Sides, he thrives in this kinda thing. Feeding on fear, anger, sadness, pain. And this? — (she raises up her arm.) — was definitely painful. Eh heh heh...

(and she can only hope she doesn't need to go through that progress again anytime soon. here's hoping the dose can hold out maybe a few more months.)

Edited 2022-07-21 22:15 (UTC)

Which means he definitely knows something happened if he can sense that.

[That's his cue to leave the scene of the crime. He gathers his bag and stands up.]

It's been a pleasure doing business with you. I hope we don't need to do this frequently.

Fingers crossed.

(she forms a two finger salute as she resumes to sit here. jinx will definitely be on the move fairly soon too but she figures she might need just a few more minutes to be on the safe side.)

See ya out there, Steel.

[ the wind hears the call of his name, even unsaid in the desperate prayer in the throes of pain; he locates her swiftly just as max leaves and he could see the silhouette of jinx alone now at the bridge. does shimmer have a scent--if so he could feel it near electric in the air, otherwise the brightness of her eyes sudden in the dark is evident enough. he could recall the time he'd first seen her after she'd 'returned' and she claimed herself changed, newly and fractionally inhuman.

the wind curls around her warm, and then in a flutter of feathers venti is there besides her, his own eyes near a-glow with fierce concern. ]

Jinx--

So this was what you were planning to do. [ his touch goes to her arm, light and ghosting just to her shoulder. he'd asked a while ago if this would be addictive or if there would be withdrawal... it seemed that question answered. ]

Are you all right?

(honestly, she was so busy with her conversation with max just moments ago, she had forgotten during the injection she had called out to him in a panic. so when he appears before, she is surprised -- eyebrow raising on how in the world did he exactly knew where she was. her glowing pinks meeting his greens but then quickly evades the gaze. jinx isn't ashamed, hell no, but this was something she was trying to keep it under wraps somehow.)

(she keeps still and mute with the turn of her head. what is there to say really? all the evidence lies right there before him; there's no need for words or explanation. so if he wishes to tend to her now bruised arm, he can -- she won't stop him.)

...

[ there's no judgment or anything, just concern. just the presence of him light by her side, then he goes to sit beside her, at first keeping a bare distance between them when he always has in the back of his head that she requested him not to touch her.

but when so often she's in trouble or pain he has such difficulty holding himself to that limit. he's not a healer, he gently holds to her arm, a look only of worry to where she must have been injected, then--

his arms go to her shoulders as he takes her in a light hug. not saying anything either, simply offering what comfort or support he could at the moment, when she's fresh off the drug and how it must be affecting her. ]

(jinx was expecting more questions and maybe even a scold from him. well, he isn't the type to scold pre say, but she figured he would go on in a drown-out speech. but what happens instead is being pulled into this light hug. her eyes widen slightly; a bit flubbergasted.)

I'm okay now. Really... just feeling cloudy.

(it's the best way she can discovered the effects of shimmer she can do but even so, she relaxes in his hold. her arm growing crazy sore and doing all that she can to not move it.)

Thank you for coming for me.

Edited 2022-07-24 05:53 (UTC)

I always will. I heard you call for me, in your heart and that unsaid prayer. [ a cry for help doesn't have to be said aloud; he could feel it when someone might plea for him in a time of crisis, like when she'd taken the drug, in the midst of that pain. and he too would be careful not to jostle her arm.

there might be a time for scolding but even so, he wouldn't be the one to deliver it. other gods might judge; he specifically was the one who didn't want to, he could provide what he could, if only it's just his presence. ]

Do you need... would it be better for you to rest elsewhere? Back in the theatre? [ instead of out here, right in front of the captain's door. like right before a dragon's lair. ]

(in truth, her body itself, doesn't need to rest. she can feel its fire swirling around her veins -- the need to jump up, sprint, skip, to do something wild. its thirst to just move about and not to lie still like this and even the pain that's on her knee where she bitten herself, it faded and she can move her leg so freely as if it's nonexistent. she can avoid failures now and it's so lovely. but if only mentally, her mind is doing the same. it's fogged, worn-out, and exhausted. these weeks so much has happened and it's becoming hard for her to just catch up with her running thoughts when they rush by.

it's been difficult to make sense of things -- questioning what's real and what isn't. are they real or are they fakes? are they clones? is it truly scientifically impossible or is there's a hidden variable they are all over looking? jinx tugs away just a bit from their hug but only to look over him. she flash him a warm yet tired smile as she leans in -- having their foreheads touch; their noses bump just a bit. 'i always will' those little three words echo for her and although her arm is aching, she links them around his neck. he didn't abandon her, he didn't ignore her, he heard her and now he's here. she's important, she means something to him, she's not tossed aside like she always feared.)

(her light cares and is right beside her just like long before when things got insanely complicated. despite going through this painful process, her body feels full and no longer running on empty, her light is in her embrace and bathing in his glow, all that is missing is ekko holding her too to give her a dose of his love and affection. ~~vi and~~ fio's cute giggle and smile gleaming whenever she looks over. a gentle hand of lumine's touching her shoulder or holding onto her hands with her soft whispers "it's okay". tears are swelling and jinx isn't entirely sure why. she's isn't sad at all or in pain but maybe just overwhelmed with.... who knows?

she sniffs as she shifts to move her head to rest on his shoulder; a sigh leaves her as if it's been something she held for days and finally can be let out. venti asked her something and she should answer:)

Theatre is fine...

(and then —)

— I love you. (a beat.) Before you jump to conclusions, not the way you're thinking. I mean, in a general sense. A-As a friend, a person, heh, as an ex-God like you always tend to point out so much. I just... felt... (she trails off for a split moment.) ... it's something you should hear from me. After everything we've been through, y'know?

Edited 2022-07-24 15:14 (UTC)

[ he would care always, with the ache and wist of the wind from a faraway world. one of the very worst parts of being long lived is the pain of care, for places that might change through the centuries, for people that he grows attached to and in a mere couple of decades they might be gone. from the very moment they met and he saw her rage and tears he knew that he had to try to be there for her. and the moment he wasn't... it was after he died, it was after he'd fucked up his bonds with those he cares for most, he'd almost left his own mind entirely and then he found out that she'd died alone.

he couldn't do that to her again. though he'd pledged to give her space and he had, it was remarkable how nearly every day or week nearly crawled by with how he missed her; the hope that they could repair this is like a light or warmth in his chest, that he could possibly recover what they had or strengthen it. his arms go around her shoulders once more, by now it seems she didn't reject his touch, they could return to be like this. ]

I understand completely.

And you likely know, or you should know, I love you too. [ an all-loving god would take in humanity under his wings and grace. this includes her, or anyone suffering like her most of all; gods could have favorites. ] I've told you always that I care for you. I want to believe that I can be better, for you or anyone on this ship. I wouldn't leave you again, so long as you keep my name in your heart.

[ and then his lips press a kiss to her hair; simply and purely fond. the affection of god, that he wants to aid. ]

(this feels like a fantasy and it very may might be. her mind is floating up in a cloud nine level where everything that's happening around her is so dream-like where anything is possible. the kiss to her hair is lovely and while he was once a god and may had many under his wings, to jinx, she feels the kiss reserved just for her. that this bond they created over the months is something only the two of them share and no one else. it may or may not be true but she likes to pretend it's something so unique to if one where to ask her describe it, there are no words.

she still doesn't approve of him and mizuki; something she will probably always disagree with. but at least what they have isn't this and jinx will continue to trick her mind to believe what she and venti have is infinitely better and powerful than what they have. and why? because that's just how she works and it just helps make her feel better about the whole situation.)

(in time, she does pull away from their embrace -- they really should get a move on before the captain shows up and question things. although, something tells her he probably wouldn't care. wherever he is, he's probably happy he had a taste of her agony for a moment there -- possibly now with a full belly until the next meal time. so when jinx stands up to her feet, it's extremely quick and it's very unintentional. he's able to see how the sudden alarming look on her face over herself just how quick it happened. slowly, she lifts up her hands -- moving them around and palm up as she takes in this feeling of shimmer.

jinx finds herself bitting her bottom lip to muffle in her chuckle. it's like she came back from the dead but unlike dying on the ship, it's as if coming back so fresh, new, and vibrant. when she takes her first few steps, there's a light sway to her. a hand brings up to comb through her bangs as she squeaks out another quiet giggle -- her body feeling in all sorts of tingles and ready to just act. but if only mentally she can follow along.)

Edited 2022-07-25 22:43 (UTC)

[ it’s the truth, the bond and bias he has to her is undeniable and probably wouldn’t quite ever be broken by him, even when he’s so quick to fly and ghost people there’s just something about her that he’s loath to leave from. he’d never lied when he told her that he wanted to be with her, whether as friend or even lover… even now there may be moments still he thinks back to their dance and that one kiss they shared. the memory of it even after he’d ruined it right afterwards. he does after all have that photograph of it still; regardless of what happened afterwards it would be a treasured memory for him still, the bittersweet moment that he knows he’d ruined but still stands as something priceless for him.

as much as he treasures mizuki, there’s the heaviness and baggage with him that’s absent with jinx. maybe he’s just going to keep staying as her fairy even now that she has ekko; it’s perfectly fine with him, humans belong with humans, he is a deity apart and above from them, he doesn’t quite have a place for himself closely to peoples’ lives. except perhaps for helping her however he can, always. he lights to his feet as well, watching over her cautiously as he can see the effects of shimmer really hit…

it’s a cause for concern, but this wouldn’t be the moment to judge or moralize to her, and he’s loath to do that anyway.

he gently takes her arm. ]

Let’s get going back to the theatre. [ as grounding as he can be to keep ahold of her, make sure she doesn’t do anything completely drastic like decide on a whim to kick down the captain’s door or, who knows, jump right off the ship on a fancy. ]

(for a split second, she somehow forgot that venti was with her. jinx doesn't react startled or jolted, simply blinking a few times to recall herself that yes, he is here, too. she doesn't protest nor fight him either when he takes her arm. in fact once he does, jinx inches closer to him while carefully making sure one foot goes in front of the other with the right amount of pacing.

she finds herself resting her head on his shoulder, too -- with a mixture of this feeling, she's getting a bit drowsy as well. though, she is doing her best to pay attention to her surroundings as they move along together even when she feels so light. it's as if all of her worries vanished into thin air; nothing mattered. all what's important is enjoying this feeling of invincibility.)

So this is what Heaven feels like...

(jinx murmurs this; sluggish. and it's probably for the best to not take what she says from here on out to heart or think too much on it. she's at a state she will probably say all kinds of things or if one can even make out what she says if her words get all tongue-tied.)

Edited 2022-07-27 03:13 (UTC)

[ she probably doesn't mean that it's heaven to be with him... still, hearing that makes his face heat, terribly flattered before he could try to reel in those silly feelings and try to reconsider what she's talking about. she's this out of it from being drugged after all. it must be the high she's talking about, is it...

she's under the influence, he should humor her. ] I'm sure Heaven could be even more comfortable when you're resting in bed! [ she could sleep off this buzz, probably. when he's in the midst of a binge or bender he could sure pass out anywhere, but he'd hope to get her somewhere soft to rest her head first.

so, off to the theatre so he could lay her down and make sure she's secure. let's get her home, or as much as it counts on this ship. ]

With me? Just like we use to...

(there was once upon a time the two of them he would sleepover in her cabin or his to cuddle. and with her trying to think back on it, her mind is foggy on the minor details but definitely remembers the singing part.)

Ekko hates me right now anyway so he won't be waitin' for me. So why not spend time with my other favorite?

(her main toy will get over it... maybe. if not, then it'll just mean giving her other toys more attention if they need her.)

[ oh my god...

he wants to. he honestly does. in a 1000% totally perfectly platonic way and normally he'd have no worries in helping himself to snuggle but... well, mizuki is rather easily-jealous, he could suspect ekko wouldn't be pleased at this, and honestly jinx probably wouldn't be either once she sobered up from this drug loopiness. ] Ah...

I think I'd pass, thanks anyway~ [ ugh. it's rather tempting though. he misses cuddling with her. so dumb...! ] And I'm sure he doesn't hate you. Let's not assume of others' feelings now, hm?

(with a soft rumble of her throat, she resumes rest her head on his shoulder as they stroll -- idly grabbing her braid to sway it lowly back and forth.)

Hmm... ― All this time and you're still rejecting me. How boriiinnng.

(at least there's no real disappointment in her voice or sadness. it's more like a statement; a lazy one at that.)

Edited 2022-07-29 01:46 (UTC)

I'm not rejecting you. Actually, I think I've always had a hard time with doing just that...

I'm trying to be thoughtful. What a rare occasion that is, for me! Perhaps you could ask me again when you're sober, or even ask Ekko if he minds because I'm sure he wouldn't be happy even if we'd just take a nap innocently in bed.

[ actually, he's pretty sure mizuki wouldn't be happy either but. ah, well... he really should be better at communicating with him.

anyway, time to fly them up back to the rafters, he'd carry her lightly in his arms if she's still woozy. ]

(she is most definitely woozy so he will have to carry her. and in his arms, she wastes no time nor hesitation to rest her head against his chest. letting out of a soft breath, she continues to mutter sluggishly: )

Whateeverr. I'll find someone else to sleep with. I'm stayin' up, though. I can't sleep by myself anymore. — Bad things happen when I do.

(meaning, her nightmares had gotten so severe she is literally unable to unless there's another person in the room. it's a shame but such fate when one wishes to consume or inject themselves with shimmer.)

Edited 2022-07-29 15:38 (UTC)

cw: panic attack, hallucinations, blood, & wishing for death

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cw: under the influence; high feeling

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